As I mentioned in my previous post I have a 5yr old. She has a tv in her room and a table where she would either do homework, or eat snacks. Well once we moved into the house, my fiancee said that he didn't want her eating in her room. I disagreed because he has never seen any signs of food or dirt in her room. If shes watching a movie and she wanted to eat an apple or bag of chips in front of her tv.....it shouldnt be a problem. He lived with us and knew when I had my own apt that she did that and he never mentioned it until we moved into the house together. He feels that not letting her eat in her room regardless of what it is, provides structure. My parents allowed my sister and I to eat in our rooms and we never had one insect in our house because of it nor were there signs of food. His upbringing was different, his parents wouldn't allow it. Do you think that I should stop my daughter from eating in her room? Since I still continue to let her, he says that I am disrespecting him.
2006-08-30 06:34:55 · 16 answers · asked by ibqti 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ummm...from experience, your daughter comes first!
2006-08-30 06:37:52 · answer #1 · answered by yoohoosusie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think a 5-year old with her own TV in her room is a little unusual. I do hope you are controlling the amount of TV she's watching, and that you don't let the TV become a babysitter. Personally, I'd wait a year or two before putting a TV in a kid's room, but that wasn't your question.
I do NOT think a bedroom should be used as a substitute dining room. She should not take her meals there. But people often eat snacks or drink a beverage while watching TV. If she can do that in the living room or in the den, why not in the bedroom? Just keep it reasonable as to type and amount of food; an apple or banana or bag of chips or a soft drink WITH A LID are fine. But make sure she keeps the room clean. Food attracts bugs.
I do not think you are disrespecting your bf in this. I am a strong believer in structure for kids, but he's going a little too far with this. I wonder what his underlying motive is? I would agree that you don't want her spending so much time there she becomes a separatist from the family, or grows reclusive. Nor do you want the food to become a mess. But if those issues are addressed satisfactorily, what's the problem? Or, as Clara Peller would say, "Where's the beef?"
2006-08-30 13:51:44 · answer #2 · answered by Carlos R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't really understand why he cares, but I'm not entirely sure that he's wrong.
You both need to sit down and figure out some sort of compromise.
Why does she have to sit in her room with her TV, and snack?
I don't think that it would hurt her if she sat in a communal living space and watched TV and snacked. Like at the kitchen table, or in the family room. I'm not sure that insects are his issue with this.
I also am wondering, why, he never brought his issue with this up before, considering how darn important it is all of the sudden.
No, I'm not entirely sure that you are disrespecting him. If there had been some agreement that you had both come to, and you decided to go against the agreement that would be disrespectful.
If his argument for disrespect is that he gave you an order, and you disobeyed it, you'll need to find a new roommate.
Good luck
2006-08-30 13:45:57 · answer #3 · answered by niffer's mom 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well when it was your house you ruled and he could not say too much but now that it is 2 people who control the place he wants to put his 2 cents in yes if he has told her not to eat in her room and you continue to allow it he does feel disrespected I personally don't see the problem if you have taught your daughter to stay clean with her food ......does he have other problems with how she was raised ?? I ma assuming he is the step father in this situation and he needs to be able to set rules that you will abide by to gain any respect from your daughter
2006-08-30 13:40:23 · answer #4 · answered by glass_city_hustla 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is the first sign that he migth have something against your daugther or that it migth be hard for him to follow a schedule or your form of life like you used to have... Both of you need to put the things clear , why he didn't say anything before ???? It will be hard for your daugther too... Talk to him as long it is always clean and clear of aunts & roaches then it should not be a problem.... Kids can follow house rules but he can follow rules too ... Get together and talk about this problem before it becomes a BIG problem between the both of you & not only this also about your daugther punishments & education will he be able to punish her if need it & correct her when she is wrong???? ( Just punish her NOT spank her you should be the only one ) This also needs to become clear & the start is this disagreement because it is in relation to your daugther so make things clear to avoid figths & you are not disrespecting him you are not agreeing with him!!! GOOD LUCK !!! I went through this and make things clear we have being together for 4yrs with no problems!!
2006-08-30 13:51:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs told that; when he lived with you he seen how things were for your daughter and he never said a word so he needs to let it go now. He needs to not argue with you especially if it's within your daughters hearing. If all he wants to do is make ignorant little rules now that he lives in a house he is becoming overbearing; either he leaves the subject alone, or he learns to compromise, or he or you and your daughter can leave, you guys don't need some bossy man giving you HIS rules to live by. I wish you and your daughter the best, I'll pray for the creep your living with also.
2006-08-30 13:43:39 · answer #6 · answered by J P 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She is your child you know what to do with her you have been raising her for 5 years now!! I know that he is you fiancee but he should not be trying to change things that you have already been doing before he was in the picture!! If you do that then your daughter might think that you are changing things because of him to make him happy and you do not want that!! It is not disrespecting him because she has done that before and she should still be able to do it!! I say do not change it because if you do he will find something else and want to change that and since you changed that he might think that you will change whatever else he wants!! So dont change it!!
2006-08-30 13:44:17 · answer #7 · answered by onesexyg18 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think its a matter of disrespecting him, and I think he's carrying his control freakishness a little far. On the other hand, kids should eat with their parents, not alone in front of a TV. Amazing conversations take place at the table sometimes.
2006-08-30 13:40:55 · answer #8 · answered by Crank 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a big problem with kids who are isolating their selves in their room. Meals should be eaten at the table with the family.
I also won't allow my kids to have a TV in their rooms.
2006-08-30 13:39:20 · answer #9 · answered by LAUGHING MAGPIE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should make it a compromise. Also a privilege for your daughter. If she does her chores and homework then she can watch tv with a snack.
2006-08-30 13:39:36 · answer #10 · answered by monro15 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my kids eat in there room i agree with both of u i live in texas and one little crumb will resalt in ants at my house. try to come to a middle. oh how things change when the man moves in good luck
2006-08-30 13:39:02 · answer #11 · answered by robin w 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋