Well, we are both Christians age 18, and engaged, yet we have different opinons on sex, I would like to have it wth her, yet she is very adamently against it, I can't help but wonder if it really is her religious principals, or just that she finds me sexually un-atractive.
Girls, I would like to know what you think of this situation, and guys, have any of you ever had this happen before? What did you do about it?
2006-08-30 06:34:40 · 18 answers · asked by blinX 2 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
FYI for people like SMW, I AM waiting, gosh, I love her to peices and I am no animal! Damn you for judging me. If she really believes that it's a sin or something, I would understand dammit! I would wait, I love her!
2006-08-30 06:42:27 · update #1
Ok, as a christian .. yes you should wait till marriage.But then there is the valid point of sexual compatability.I wont encourage you to have sex before mariage, but as far as my personal decisions..... i decided to have sex before marriage.And now that I reflect back on those days before I married my husband ,I will give you reasons why i think god put the no sex before marriage into effect.
God doesnt do it to punish us.Actually he does it to protect us.When two people really love each other and have sex before marriage.There is a bond created. You can almost liken it too a "soul tie".If the realtionship ends before you are to be married. The resulting pain of loosing the person , your soul tie is almost unbearable.I have never known a pain more excruciating than loosing the one you love.You literally loose a piece of your idenity when it doesnt work out.
I think god protects us from that kind of torture when we wait to be married before sex.
I know its tough, but if you can ... respect her wishes.Remember, there are other alternitives to sex.
I give you major kudos!! not too many people would be as patient as you have been.She is very lucky to have you.I dont think she finds you unattractive otherwise she probably wouldnt have agreed to marry you.
2006-08-30 06:54:08 · answer #1 · answered by serena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a girlfriend who had sex with me, then she got more involved with church and she stopped having sex. Although sex was not something that I required or demanded from her, I never felt right about her turning it off. From my perspective, it seemed like it was a reaction to me and not to her interest in church. We broke up three or four months later and drifted apart.
It's a tough situation but ultimately a relationship is about two people. Somehow, you have to make it work for each other or you will not last as a couple.
Good luck to you both!
2006-08-30 06:40:55 · answer #2 · answered by pvreditor 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that she probably wants to but is sticking with her morals. This happened to me, and the guy took it personally, so we broke up. Just be supportive to her moral stance. If you cannot be, then consider another girl that has a viewpoint more like yours. Sex, while realllllly good, is not worth messing a great long term relationship.
2006-08-30 06:43:00 · answer #3 · answered by Myra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Get unengaged right away. 18 YOs have no business getting married, and way too many times out of ten it will end in disaster.
2. Forcing a woman to have sex would be rape, and begging her into it is just pathetic.
2006-08-30 06:54:57 · answer #4 · answered by Crank 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she does believe that's a sin b/c that's what most christians believe. if she wants to wait, then wait. it's really not a big deal to wait and if you'll be married soon, it'll be really exciting. if you guys are doing "other things" than just keep going with that until marriage. if you're not doing "other things", try them if you're both comfortable. it'll get you comfortable with eachother's bodies. and it's fun!
2006-08-30 07:24:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good Heavens, she is engaged to you! She wouldn't do that if she found you unattractive. Take her at her word. She wants to be able to say she waited till marriage. We didn't, and after many years, I am certain that my wife wishes we had waited. Wait. Its worth it. And learn to trust the woman you are about to marry. She may just be to good for you.
2006-08-30 06:43:07 · answer #6 · answered by lil'oleJewler 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're doubting your girlfriend??? Already? You're not even married yet. Why don't you try taking her word for it, let it be, and for pete's sake, just wait.
Guys are such pigs really!!
But then again, so are girls.
Just chill out dude. It will happen when it happens. But for now, trust her.
2006-08-30 06:38:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her! Tell her how you're feeling about yourself, hopefully she reassures you and you can go on. I would want you to talk to me if I were in the situation. You will come across numerous things in your relationship similar to this, building the communication now when you're young will be greatly beneficial.
2006-08-30 08:36:32 · answer #8 · answered by Brooke 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After beginning up approximately her previous, she theory it would be stable to shake it off and attempt and circulate on, to slot relationships, whether it in simple terms reminded her of it fairly, so she sees intercourse now as something to be embarrassed approximately, and he or she is evaluating her previous intercourse existence to her present day one with you, thinking it is purely for a guy, no longer for her exhilaration too, and he or she's no longer even passionate or eye-catching while she does it with you. do no longer problem with regard to the intercourse existence precise now. save speaking her to start your relationship up back. do no longer point out having intercourse together with her, or something sexual she would not decide for to get into. in simple terms concentration on getting her back. while she's waiting, you will comprehend.
2016-10-01 02:24:42 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it may be because of her religous beliefs. i personally would never marry someone without being "intimate" with them. what if you wait to get married and find out that you are not compatible in that "area of the relationship"? it could ruin the whole marrige!
2006-08-30 06:38:50 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋