we have been divorced for 2 1/2 years now because she cheated on me. i have just recently been talking to her for the past 6 months or so, and i truly have forgiven her and i know it killed her to lose me because i used to see her drive by my house every once in a while and she also told me so. i really do not have any sexual intersest in her anymore and we have no kids. do you think she is just trying to find a comfortable place to live or trying to get back with me, i have told her i do not ,would not get back with her that way. she is very good at keeping the house clean doing laundry and cooking , so i would have something to gain in that sense because i am not a very tidy person. Do you think this a bad idea and why please.
2006-08-30 06:32:25 · 29 answers · asked by DECATSDEAD 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
and she will pay rent
2006-08-30 06:38:10 · update #1
It might be a bad a idea because shes the one that cheated on you, if she knows that you have forgiven her for that, she might look at you like your a pushover, even though that may not be true... women can be very manipulating to get what they want. I think it is a bad idea, at one time she had a comfortable place to live and she blew it. Dont bother... saying you have something to gain because she keeps things tidy seems like an excuse. If your the only one that lives there and you dont mind a mess than so be it.. DONT DO IT!!
2006-08-30 06:39:10 · answer #1 · answered by cherriesberries 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This would be a very BAD idea. Yes your ex-wife wants you back and if you do this then this gives her a way to wiggle back in sorta speak........... sure she cleans and does laundry and cook, but so do over 1/2 of the women population. She moves in as a roommate, you meet a girl and start hanging out bringing her home, and the next thing you know you are in a full outright fight with your ex and probably would have a few dishes flying at your head. Don't be fooled she has a motive and if yours isn't the same then don't even go there!!! You will be sorry. blessed be.
2006-08-30 06:39:53 · answer #2 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a lose-lose situation. She only wants to live with you so the two of you can get back together. She has no plans to keep it platonic at all. She is certain that once in the same house she can get your interest going again.
You don't want her in a physical way. Do you really think she would be happy as a live-in maid? Do you really think she has no interest in getting married again? If you allow this to happen you will soon find yourself married and going through the same issues you had before.
2006-08-30 06:38:40 · answer #3 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, they say that they will pay rent but once moved in and never pay rent. make sure she sign contract that she will pay for rent if she not paying for rent and you can go small court claim for getting your money back since you have her sign contract.
I don't think it good idea for her to move in with you as roommate, even if she good clean house, cooking all that. All i see you said 3 or 4 things good things. But you can list 10 to 20 bad things about her. so You might want to think about it. What if she bring man over and you be listening her having sex with man in her room??? Might be the same man who she cheated on?
What if, She have party and didn't tell you?? There more to looked at and are you willing to have her as your roommate and not have a plm?
Think about before you do. Even if you make house rules no man the house no party etc... but if she break the rules you have to kick her out... no to many chances... that reason is bad idea.
2006-08-30 07:18:39 · answer #4 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was your wife and both of you are scared to death that you both made a mistake... You divorced her out of anger, fear and frustration and infact you did not want to. You did not want to face the fact that YOU DID NOT SATISFY HER. I am not talking just sex here there are other reasons why people cheat. She knows that she did not have the courage to talk to you about what she was feeling and cheating however inappropriate became the action and Divorce became the outcome... Cut through the chase and get your wife and your life back. Taking your wife back is an honorable thing, playing games with your feelings and hers is wrong. Put it out on the table..if she says yes...QUICKLY re marry..no big wedding just the basic legal stuff and if she says no....cut her off completely for it will be IMPOSSIBLE to just be friends.
Good Luck
Phantom
2006-08-30 06:41:59 · answer #5 · answered by phantom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Horrible idea, lad. Presuming that you are a decent, sensitive person, any possible perceived advantages are greatly outweighed by potential and likely disadvantages. You would likely find yourself in a situation with her which would lead to intimacy, your emotions would become involved again, and should she therafter choose to look elsewhere for intimacy you will go down in flames once again. You closed that door once, don't open it now. Hire a maid to come in once in a while. You may be able to find one of those risque services which have added benefits, and you don't have to live with the maid. And as a bonus, here is one of my favorite Proverbs (which does not exactly fit your situation given what little you have noted about your cheating, unfaithful, to-hell-with-marriage-vows former spouse): "It is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious, and an angry woman." Prv. 21:19
2006-08-30 06:46:28 · answer #6 · answered by orfinlimer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yeah, she is trying to get you back by using the old let's just be roommates. Yes, I think it's a bad idea especially since you don't have any romantic feelings for her. If you need someone to clean your house, hire a maid and at the end of the day she leaves. Don't do it especially if you want to date other women.
2006-08-30 06:50:29 · answer #7 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is a liar and a cheater. That is a proven fact. She's gone out and played the field for over 2 years and she has now realized the grass isn't ever greener on the other side.
Sounds like she is trying to get her hooks back into you....I'd be very careful. Remember...you're divorce and her problems are no longer your problems.
Be very very careful. Sounds like your getting played again!!!
2006-08-30 07:03:12 · answer #8 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey if you two are sure you don't want to get back together, then I think it is pretty cool to be roommates. You probably could use the company every now and again. She cleans good so she can do your share. Once you lay down the rules about visitors or sleepovers.
2006-08-30 06:36:57 · answer #9 · answered by Lady Dee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she going to pay rent or help with household expenses? Will she be bringing a boyfriend into the home? How will you feel if she does? You say you have forgiven her but will her being there bring up those buried feelings? What about you? Will you be bringing a date home? Ask yourself questions and weigh the answers.
2006-08-30 06:39:15 · answer #10 · answered by blueyes2001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋