Following a recent betrayal by my best friend, i am consumed with hate and can't move on,How do you lose it?

Question

i am consumed by hate and feel it eating me up, i tried to talk it through with the same person but it just made it worse. I need to know how to let hate go.

Answer 1

Hit them, it will relese all your anger. try not to hit them in front of a witness.

Answer 2

I too been at a place just like that for a long time, now long time over. Somebody told me that as long as i hate that person they control my life, because of the energy and thought of that person to consume your mind on all levels. You face the wrong that was dealt to you deal with it, write it out on paper all emotions too, write til you can write no more. Then make decision, Say to self, "This low "B*****d" will no longer control my mind or my life, it stops 2 day, then destroy the pages. Or Go for walk away from everybody(cause if they see you they'll think ya mad) and yell ya guts out to the wind about this person. Then decide it's finished. Whenever a thought comes tell ya self it's sorted. Do it til your mind has accepted it, hopefully that won't be too long for ya. Rise above the anger so it no longer has hold of you. Then quietly sit back and watch their life. The saying what goes around comes around is true! Get on with your life and get happy is the best revenge. All the best!

Answer 3

It depends on what she did if you feel that the betrayal was that big that you cant forgive, then the best thing for you to do is move on and think good riddance becsue you dont need people like that in your life so its better that you found out know then later. If you think that your friendship is worth saving and that you can forgive this person, then take a couple of days to relax and chill out to calm yourself down then when you feel that you are able to to approacdh and talk to this person make your move and sit them down and discuss what happened, there is no point in you talking to this person when you have so much rage inside you becasue this won't solve anything and you probably end up feeling more angrier.

Answer 4

.

This betrayal has obviously hit you hard, I would suggest
that the reason for that is that it is on some level familiar
to you, it has echoes of past experience, if that sounds or
feels accurate in any way then I would suggest you need
to look at what was going on the for you first time it or
something similar happened, by doing this you may
understand the the reason for your level of hurt around this
last occassion and place what has happened in a different context and thus come to terms with it in a healthier way and
find the strength to move on and grow from the experience.

To do this it could be that some professional help would be
useful, someone like a counsellor or a psychotherapist who
could support you in this work of self discovery and growth.


.

Answer 5

i think that you should let the anger go y hold a grudge while ur friend walks around happy and as lite as a feather grudges do nothing but weigh u down and destroy ur own happiness i understand that this person has hurt u but u need peace of mind let this person go and move on consume youself with family and true friends trust me i've been there and it isn't worth it if u need to talk some more u can email me at [e-mail] good luck

Answer 6

Sorry to hear that. It sucks but sometimes people who you consider your best friends are selfish, jealous and ultimately do not care about you, and would actually rather hurt you.

Deep down some people are rotten... and betraying a friend is one of the first signs that a person has a horrible character. They can't be trusted to be true to anyone... not at work, not with friends, not in relationships. They will continue to screw over anyone in their life when it suits them. They usually are charming and that's how they get people into their life. But they are no one's friend. They're truly messed up individuals. So to answer your question, this person is not worth your energy. REMOVE THEM FROM YOUR LIFE IMMEDIATELY. I had a best friend that betrayed me, and I forgave her and let her back into my life. She only proceeded to behave even worse and backstab me more blatantly. Your so-called 'friend' is definitely not your friend. Don't kid yourself. Forgive but don't forget... and just move on. To get past the pain, you need to accept that this is one of life's lessons. It will just make you value your true friends more, and helps you identify the users, liars and backstabbers a little more easily. You'll need this radar a lot more as you get older.

So the sooner you get this person out of your life 100% then you will start to heal. If you continue to hang around with them or allow them into your circle you'll continue to remember the betrayal, and most likely will get betrayed again and again. Time will heal your pain, but only if you separate from this person.

Answer 7

Hi.. this is an easy question to answer... perhaphs not so easy to put into practice...

EVERYTHING we do (including smoking for people who smoke) well pretty much everything we do even negative behaviour or negative emotions etc, we do because we get something out of it, we gain something somewhere along the equation..

So you need to ask yourself what do you get by hating your friend?

maybe it is that you do not have to deal with accepting the situation , and loss of friend, or maybe it is so you do not have to make it up with them because that will be harder.. maybe its to distract you from doing something else or thinking somethig else... somewhere there is a gain...

So in realising that , you need to resolve the equation, what is it that you are avoiding etc, and then face up to that..

Also realise that there are nicer ways to motivate yourself to do anything, and use these nicer less adrenal evoking less stressful ways to get things done, and give yourself a much needed break...

what ever this person did , they did it, and it should be firmly their problem.... and not yours....

scre time.. the mind like to make changes quickly and violently .. like abroken leg,,,, but this time it is a broken neuro electrical pathway , that recalls a memory, and leads you down a well trodden path of using hate or someother emotion to get you past the memory... break it.. abandon hate.. when ever it comes into your mind... think ... good come.. and bad go...

let the good flow in towards you, and the bad go out and away...

lol

Answer 8

BQ1: Ah. All of those are so precise, I even ought to agree. xD BQ2: maximum cancers the following. I could've considered that one coming. i did not imagine i became insecure.. yet, having to imagine about it, probably means i'm, precise? It does, get on my nerves each in certain situations, because i do not enable myself have issues if i don't sense like I deserve them. not in ordinary words that, i'm shifting into an excellent type of worry with dishonest and taking section in round; because even as issues commence to flow precise, I freak out and seem for safe practices elsewhere. i extremely hate being misunderstood even with the undeniable fact that .. even as different indications can not get my meaning. i am going to panic till i'm in a position to describe each little thing purely as is. BQ3: I have Leo mars even with the undeniable fact that, too. and that is precise. i am going to do something, if it means conserving my delight. i am going to't stand dropping it, yet when I do, it really is a dramatic defeat. And .. for the scorpio moon, this is precise. even as a meant chum does something unusual to damage, yet provides an apology i am going to ensure precise through, I say 'this is okay, do not worry..' yet actual, I hate it the most. and that i can not enable it flow.

Answer 9

When my friend betrayed me, I was so full of hatred and anger that I ganged up with another friend of mine and we sabotaged some of her things. I didn't want to talk bad about her to other people, or abuse her physically because these are actions with lasting damages. So the next best thing was to take some of her favorite clothes and destroy it in anyway that i wanted to. i burnt some of it and tore some. Then I managed to get hold of her handphone and destroyed it by stepping on it and hitting it with a hammer. once my anger was appeased, so did the hatred but till this day, I have not forgiven her for what she had done to me and I don't think I will ever forgive her either.

Answer 10

Aw, sweetie...Betrayal is a hard thing to forgive. First of all you have to WANT to let it go... Without wanting to no matter how hard you try you won't. Next is write everything you're feeling down-as though you were writing your friend a letter. Then put it on a heat proof dish and burn it. As it burns imagine that all the stuff you're feeling is burning with it. Find peace soon x

Answer 11

yes betrayal is a very hard tool to work with yes it will make you hate just about everything around you maybe you should try talking it out with another person but it seems to me this person must of really hurt you so sometimes in life we have to move on because it is so hard to fix the situation instead of messing yourself up mentally because it leads to depression that's what eat me me up means! so try to let go and let god!