I'm having a really hard time....I'm in a year long relationship in which i feel might not be too heathly for either one of us. My boyfriend cheated on me in Feb and I found out in April. Ever since i went from being the perfect gf that never nagged or worried to a paranoid pain in the a** B*TCH. I hate it, but i love him and his has proven himself to me since. The only thing is that when we get in fights i can say some hurtful stuff that then leads him to say some hurtful things and say that he is only stayin in this relationship to keep me happy and because he knows i wont let him leave. DO you think that is true? Because he just gave me an engagement ring a month agao and i feel like if he meant it he wouldnt do that and he could just cut me out and ignore me if he really felt that way...i dont know what to do ne more and i wish i could stop being such a pain so that we could be happy again together...please help!
2006-08-30 04:26:35 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
hey all...many of u mentioned my age...i'm 23...so i guess that is a bit young...but we agreed on a long engagement (appox 2 years) ....i just thought that i would add that.,...i said i couldnt marry him until i had time to really trust him again and see how we do in those 2 years...and we do live together
2006-08-30 04:50:23 · update #1
I think that you have to re-evaluate your relationship. You say that he has proven himself since, and has given you an engagement ring. However, it doesn't sound like you've forgiven him, deep down. I say that because if you had forgiven him, you wouldn't keep bringing it up every time you two get into a disagreement, ya know? Just sit down and have a heart to heart with your man. A year really isn't that long. You guys need to be honest with yourselves AND each other. You sound young, so you really don't have to be in a big rush. Engagement and marriage are HUGE steps and they shouldn't be entered into lightly. Talk to each other and see if you guys are serious about building a lasting relationship. If not, move on while you can still at least be friends. If so, then you BOTH have to be willing to work on your relationship. I hope I've helped...at least a little.
2006-08-30 04:37:08 · answer #1 · answered by Chell B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are engaged after a year of a relationship, then you should definitely try getting some space for a while. I think you should live together before you tie the knot, because there is a lot of little stuff that can put more stress on a relationship when you have to live in the same place and share the CHORES. If you two are bringing up the past in your fights then you are not over what that did to your relationship and you need to look at it. I recommend taking about a month off from each other to think everything through. If he says that he only stays with you because you won't let him go, then give him up! show him that you are independent of him, but that he only makes you more complete. I can only say that a year is hardly enough time to get to know someone since we constantly change ourselves. If you don't live together, then you could be in for a big surprise if you get married, then move in together. there are a lot of things that will be overlooked when you just talk about it. Good luck, and I hope this helps.
2006-08-30 04:39:04 · answer #2 · answered by chupa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to be with him and make things work you have to forgive and forget what he did to you. That is the only way. You have to stop yourself in your tracks when you are about to say something. Write it down if you have to get it out but don't say it to him. Or and I would suggest, couples counseling. That is always good. But you really have to listen and want to better yourself. People do make mistakes for their own reasons. One chance is what you give people. If he were to ever cheat again, no questions asked, just move on. It will keep happening. There is also a part of you that will never forget and he needs to understand that. If the both of you work together there is hope.
2006-08-30 04:44:17 · answer #3 · answered by Ready vs Not 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off sweetheart I'm not sure how young you are but trust comes before anything and maybe you shouldn't have accepting the ring so quickly because when we argue and we throw things back into people faces that only means we haven't forgiven that person and you haven't let go. you shouldn't let him make you feel because he gave you a ring makes you think he won't do it again is why you are holding on because it takes more than that. give time time and try to focus on what you really need to do to get your mind and feel painless, remember he cheated! not you!
2006-08-30 04:35:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋