me and my husband got back together after a 6 month split and things are so much better after we talked about everything and made changes to our attitudes etc... but i now feel sad and keep going over the time we spent apart in my mind all the time. we are happy and its great and i will never let this happen again. but i feel like im going through so many emotions and it really hurts to think that we spent that time apart and im thinking all kinds of stuff. it feels like my insides are being ripped apart. how do i get over this?
2006-08-30 03:57:30 · 22 answers · asked by english_latina 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Think of the good thoughts/times you had together. Things can only improve now. Be happy to have him back.
2006-08-30 04:00:55 · answer #1 · answered by Dragon Empress 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry that much - it is normal. You should consider that time you two spent apart as a 'war', and after every war - everyone must go through the same thing. When we are under a stress, as you were being during those 6 months, adrenalin was on a rather high level, and that is how your body was 'protected'. When situation had gotten back to the normal level, adrenalin have disappeared, and now you have to deal with your previous fears without any help whatsoever. So, don't worry, it is just post-trauma period (there is more chemistry there than you possible can imagine). Most important - it surely won't last long - unless you keep wondering what is wrong all the time. Get relax. Go outside for a walk every time when you feel like that. Good luck, don't be sad.
2006-08-30 11:19:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep yourself busy doing things so that you do not dwell on the past, but look to the future. Take up a new hobby or perhaps you could enrol for an part-time adult education class - this is the time of year to do so.
Keep up with your friends.
Above all, it is great that you are talking to your husband and happy with him. Most marriages go through ups and downs and shairng your thoughts and problems with your partner is crucial to success.
If you feel as though you are being "ripped apart" for more than a short time should should seek advice. Talk to your GP: many practices these days can refer you to a counselling service. Alternatively, you could seek help from Relate, which is a vounteer marriage guidance organisation.
2006-08-30 11:07:06 · answer #3 · answered by Philosophical Fred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This has just happened to me with my partner- he wanted a break and I was devestated when we got back it was loads better but I just felt terrible...
I Think its basically because you have been hurt- in the 6 months you were apart you must have realised a few things about your relationship and yourself and hopefully got some confidence back, so that is good, and now that you're back its good, but I think when you break with someone you have "will it ever be the same again" in the back of your mind.
Basically time is a healer- when you are hurt you cant just throw yourself back into normal life, because you put up your barriers again and it takes time to re-trust the person and know them again- plusits hard because you are making a concious effort for things not to go wrong again in the relationship so its like you are on your "best behaviour".
None of us are perfect and its horrible when things go wrong, I think you have got to relax a bit more, keep your wits about you and stick up for yourself if there is something you don't like.
Time will heal and you will look back and think It may have been the best thing to do to save your relationship.
Good luckx
2006-08-30 11:03:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same thoughts about my marriage sometimes. I have been separated for a year now from my husband, and I consider going back sometimes, but then I remember all the hurt he caused for me and our little girls, and it's something that I can not ever get over. I have made the decision not to go back to him because I know that we would not have a relationship at all. I would be miserable, and I would make sure that he is that way, too. It's better off for us to be apart. I don't know if you will ever overcome all the emotions, but I hope you can. You are stronger than me for even trying. Good luck, hope it all works out!
2006-08-30 11:04:24 · answer #5 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Granted ,low points such as your split do suck. However without lows as a benchmark the highs/good times would become average and lose their special quality.It is not healthy do dwell on the negative, especially to no constructive end. Put the sorrow of you split behind you, that is not to say erase it.Sounds like you two resolved some differences and grew from it and you have that time apart as a comparison as to how much nicer it is together.These are positive aspects ,focus on these. If this advice does not help I can come over and shake you and yell"GET OVER IT WOMAN!" if you think that would be more effective.
2006-08-30 12:09:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember that you are back togther. That time apart is something that the two of you needed to be able to work through what was wrong in the relationship and take the steps at changing it. Count your blessings that he and you are back together. no one believes in the sanctitiy of marriage anymore so for you and your husband to get back together after conidering divorce is admirable. Just remember that he's back with you, and you are happy. Don't dwell on the past, theres a reason its in the past and its not coming back!
2006-08-30 11:22:06 · answer #7 · answered by Jenna D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes when there is a lot of history between two people and you can't get past it even if you try, its better to go your separate ways. Can you truly say yoUr happy now that ur back together or is the suffering to great to get past the bad stuff and move on to brighter future. You are the only ruler of your destiny and happiness.
2006-08-30 11:30:36 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Malibu.
I am happy for you that you have got your husband back after your short split and think of this what was your husbands insides like as well as yours stop thinking of your self and think of your husband as well.
So why don't the two of you sit down and tell ache other how you both felt about the short split and the hurt that was done to two hearts that was in love.
now two broken heart's have reunited again for another chance to be in love. so please both of you get your act together and put these two broken heart back as one.so now girl get of your bum and go and get it .say this to your husband you are a lemon i am a lemon so how about a squeeze.well good luck to you both i do hope it works out for you both.FROM THE HALIFAX BABA
2006-09-03 10:49:50 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happy for you that u r with your man again now.There is no use brooding over the laid chickens my dear. Start enjoying what is in front of you rather than doing what u r right now.All the best.
2006-08-30 11:10:16 · answer #10 · answered by fk1m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋