I met a guy with some freinds one night and we got chatting, In the conversation I told him where I lived and worked . Now he calls all the time and sends cards and even turned up one day. I have found out that he is in and out of prison for violent crimes and fraud and when I told him to stop calling me he said he will tell my husband that I slept with him. I am scared of what he will do next but feel that it's my fault as I did flirt a bit at the beginnig with him. My husband is very jealous and will never believe me. What I want is for this guy to get fed up and go away but 6 months on and he still calls and texts every day wanting me to go and see him. I can't go to the police without my husband finding out- please any advice?
2006-08-30 03:47:00 · 16 answers · asked by tulambin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you are going to have to tell your husband what happened and then go to the police. you can't worry about your husband getting mad at you. your life is at stake.
2006-08-30 03:51:26 · answer #1 · answered by fungirl 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband. If he can't be an adult about this, you need a new husband anyway. This guy that is stalking you, is a freaking psycho. His mind ain't right. When he finally does get fed up, who do you think he's going to take it out on? I think you're in a very dangerous situation. This jerk has obviously done this before to someone else, because he knows how to threaten you to keep you quiet. 6 months?! Jeez! The dude is insane!
After you tell your husband, that a freaky stalker is following you around, call the cops, report the guy, then go to the courthouse, and get a freaking restraining order. Today! Now!
Good luck, hope your husband can man up and worry about his wife's safety instead of being an immature distrustful jerk.
2006-08-30 04:07:53 · answer #2 · answered by niffer's mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore him, completely. Don't talk to him, use your answering machine to screen your calls (that also wards off telemarketers. lol), don't text him back saying, "NO!". Just completely ignore him. Right now, even the negative attention is still attention. Give him nothing at all and he might get the picture and go away. Otherwise, you might end up having to face your husband. My husband is a very jealous man too and he'd be pissed, even at flirting, which is a really small thing in the grand scheme of things.
But please...if you feel threatened at all do NOT hesitate to go to the police. I'm not entirely sure I wouldn't call what this man is doing as stalking, you know? Please be careful!!
2006-08-30 03:52:59 · answer #3 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband first. Flirting is harmless and if you didn't sleep with then you did nothing wrong. Play up the "protect me" aspect of it, and he will probably be ok. This guy sounds like a real nutbag, especially to black mail you like that. Just come clean, it's doubtful your husband would leave you over this. Be honest, he may be mad for a little bit, but at least you'd have it out in the open and then you can go to the police and get this jerk for harrassment/stalking/blackmail, whatever.
2006-08-30 04:01:39 · answer #4 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll have some explaining to do but you need to talk to your husband and tell him what happened and what's happening now. He could be stalking you and he is not going to back off after all this time. You are a challenge to him. Then you need to go to the police and put a restraining order on him.
2006-08-30 03:55:48 · answer #5 · answered by hummingbird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to do is stop communicating with this individual immediately. The next thing you need to do is file a police report. Once you have filed the report talk to your husband and tell him what has been going on. It is better to be honest with your husband than be dead.
2006-08-30 03:54:47 · answer #6 · answered by middle aged and love it 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to talk to your husband because this is potentially a dangerous situation. This guy's violent!! If your husband won't believe you, you have a whole different problem there, but you need to do something about this guy and you need to go to the police. Please don't wait!
2006-08-30 03:51:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know this probably isnt the answer you wanted but i think your best option is to tell your husband everything before this man does.i know this is going to be hard but this guy isnt going to go away if he thinks hes got a hold on you.you never know your husband might be more understanding than you think he obviously loves you or why would he be so jealous. sorry i havnt got a better answer.good luck
2006-08-30 04:03:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be best to go to the police ...though, you could get a solicitor to write this guy a letter.
It's been done before ...warning someone off.
Best of luck.
Sash.
2006-09-01 15:32:20 · answer #9 · answered by sashtou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ignore him from your e-mail completely and change your mobile phone number and live with your husban in another house then tell him every thing and make him feel that you are telling the truth perhapse he may believe you that's really a problem
2006-08-30 04:04:22 · answer #10 · answered by nansy k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋