for the past 3 days since last week my guy has been puroposely tryign to start arguments with me! but he dosent have anything to go off of becuase i wouldnt argue with him back.
when i started going back to school is when he became very grumpy and just very rude and agressive. but that friday be just broke off into this fit about how he took care of me for 3 yrs and now it was time for me to take care of him!
he was very mean calling me all types of names and trying to rip up my school books that i had to sell my cd's and radio and do lots of hair to get becaue i dont get financial aid and not only this he was punching me hard like he was trying to kill me!!!!
his mother just sat there and didnt really try to stop him from acting a fool and then he tells me to get out, so i pack my things and get ready to leave, he tries to stop me at the door becuae he wanted me to stay
WHAT DO I DO? HE ALL OF A SUDDEN WANTS TO BE SERIOUS AND SO CALLED SUPPORTIVE!
WHY IS HE SO ANGR
2006-08-30 03:37:23 · 32 answers · asked by gaurdianangelic 3 in Health ➔ Men's Health
I'm not a guy but I just have to tell you this: Run away! This guy sounds like he has some serious issues. Physical violence is absolutely unacceptable and should not be tolerated. To me, it sounds like he's insecure about you bettering yourself. I think he might feel like the balance of power is shifting in your relationship because you getting an education will give you more earning power. He might feel competitive about that sort of thing.
Whatever the problem is, the way he acted shows that he has anger issues and he can't control himself. This is a dangerous situation. Please leave, he needs help from a professional anger management therapist.
Take care, and good luck in school!
2006-08-30 03:46:01 · answer #1 · answered by HoneyB 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
IF you stay, you are part of the problem.
Pack your stuff into the car, seek the nearest women's shelter, and move on. Don't look back. His mother was abused in her marriage as well. They are both afraid of and unskilled in normal supportive relationships and they will not change. Call the victim support unit of your local police department, they will help with this. You will need to get a restraining order, but leaving is a dangerous time. He may come after you, as he cannot control you any more. Apply for financial aid.
Now is a fork in the road for you. Do you design your life to live like this, or do you move forward to a more rewarding, reasonable life? Try and design a life where you are NEVER completely reliant on a man, woman or anyone but yourself for food, clothing and shelter.
2006-08-30 03:59:46 · answer #2 · answered by finaldx 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you married to this guy? Has he been paying the rent, etc. while you go to school? We really don't know the particulars here.
Still, anybody who hits you like that, and acts disrespectful towards you in the presence of his own mother should not be somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with. If you are not married, he has given you a very good indication as to what your married life will be like. If you can get out of the house safely, do so now. Move in with a relative or friend, even if it is only temporary until you can get another place -- even with a roommate.
And please stop by the financial aid office at your school and appy for aid.
2006-08-30 06:40:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men are not trully supportive of their women, no matter what they say.
I do not wish to go into too much detail but your man clearly has anger issues (such as I, but I would NEVER hit a woman outside of martial arts) , as well as trust issues and problem coping with you trying to improve your life/situation. I feel he may be feeling threatened by your return to school; he may be afraid you won't have time for his selfish needs anymore. Alot of this may also be comming from his mother, since she appears to be quite comfortable with the way he treats you.
He is also an emotional addict, in terms of not being able to cope with your permanent departure. He says he is supportive but "demands" you take care of him now since he apparently took care of you for three years. That doesn't sound supportive at all, unless my definition of couplehood support has been wrong all along.
My suggestion? Wait when he's not there and disapear from this man. He is clearly an ABUSIVE and possible "Wife-Beating" individual, and I fear that if you do not disapear soon, his violent tendencies may get out of hand.
For your own safety, way until he's out and then leave without a trace. I know it sounds harsh, but it's better than ending up as a battered wife....
All the best!
2006-08-30 05:57:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, what were the circumstances that led him into wanting to have an argument with you? If it was your going back to school, then ask him what made him grumpy about your schooling.
If by your assessment, your schooling would cause infidelity on his side, then go over the details with him, and make him understand of your desire to go back to school. Your personal sense of worth and growth should not be stunted by a guy who can't see you being an active participant in your relationship.
And then he called you all types of names, just how frequently does he do it? And he can even afford to lift a finger on you when you are not even married? Now that you are seeing this side of him, you may want to think things over, if he is really worth your time and effort. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't wanna end up being a battered wife eventually for failing to see the signals in your relationship.
And as a last course of his drama, he attempts to stop you because he wanted you to stay? For what? he wanted to have you as a punching bag whenever he feels grumpy or incompetent?
You need to clearly ask him of his reasons for treating you so bad. You don't deserve to be treated this way, all the more be made conscious that it's your time now to take care of him.
If this is the only argument he has with you, I would strongly suggest you go scour for another man that is fitting and ultimately far more better than him. A real man should not even calculate the times he cared for his girl. He should not even dare keep the number of times when he gave way in order to satisfy you. That's what relationship is for, give and take.
But if what he's doing in your relationship is to keep track of all the favors he is doing for you, then you could easily retaliate by stating how persistent you are in understanding him.
He's gonna be sorry you had a realization that he's not even worth your attention.
2006-08-30 04:09:32 · answer #5 · answered by Mike_Cruiser 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm not sure why you only want men to answer but hey Ill put my 2 cents in anyway. Jealousy and fear are most likely the cause and if he prepared to punch you in front of his mother then Id be packing and leaving for good.
When I returned to study I found a book that stated that 30% of people who return to study end up divorced, 30% separate and the rest stay the same. Look after yourself because it appears no one else will.
2006-08-30 03:44:31 · answer #6 · answered by Just Thinking 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best advice I can give you is to loose this losser! He has a mental problem and is not worth having. Remember there are plenty of tom cats in the alley to pick from and you just picked the wrong one. There is no reason for you to suffer the indignities of staying with him. It's not love - he is just looking for someone he can control. Your an individual and you can stand on your own two feet and you don't need him or anyone like him. Get out of the relationship while you can - don't become a victim of abuse.
2006-08-30 03:45:52 · answer #7 · answered by Dale 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first punch should end your relationship. You should also call the police and file charges. Get out of the house (or if the place is yours, throw him out).
Believe me, someone who has once hit his partner WILL do it again, no matter what they SAY. I'm sure you got the "I'm sorry babe, I didn't mean to, it'll never happen again" speech. To which your reply HAS to be - "No, it won't happen again because you're leaving".
Don't joke about leaving; don't think you can use emotional blackmail on him like "I'll leave if you do that again" because it WON'T work. Eventually, you may well end up dead. No man is worth that. Get out - and get out now.
2006-08-30 04:06:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can only ask why you would tolerate such behavior. You may love this man, but he is abusive and acting in an unnaceptable way.
You may want to consider doing a little soul searching. Spend some time away from him, by yourself. Ask yourself why you are worried about why he is angry, instead of worrying about why you continue to try and please someone who is abusive.
Honestly, if he is angry, and you don't know why, he lacks the communication skills to let you know why and therefore lacks the skills to maintain a long term relationship anyway. If I am angry with anyone in my life, they know why, and we work it out with decency, civility and even love.
Your guy just sounds like a douche bag.
2006-08-30 04:00:47 · answer #9 · answered by matt m 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Drop the low I.Q. punk and find a man who wants a women with goals and character.
Don't let weak men bring you down. You sound like a strong women. Your school is important and your sacrifices are necessary. Piss on anyone trying to hold you back.
2006-08-30 07:10:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋