My husband and I don't sleep in the same bedroom....?

Question

My hubby and I have been married for 8 years and we love each other very much. He is my best friend, we have a great sex life, however, I am unable to sleep with him in the same bedroom. He snores terrible loud and I have tried ear plugs by I just can't seem to fall asleep when he is beside me. He has slept in the spare room for like 5+ years of our marriage - When we go away or are camping in our trailer, we do sleep together and are fine however at home he just automatically goes to the other bed. I don't know what to do - is this normal, is this just a habit now? Help what can I do......................

Answer 1

There is nothing wrong with seperate rooms, if you both don't have a problem with it. You love each other, and you have a great sex life, and you seem so happy, so what's the big deal. Now, if you were sleeping in seperate rooms for other reason then to get sleep then I would be concerned. What is normal anyways? Seems like your marriage is perfect for you both, so why mess up things by sleeping together, and you not getting any rest. Going without sleep is dangerous, I know I have a sleep disorder, and it mess up your body and mind. No sleep hurts your physically and mentally.

Sweetie, it's nice to sleep with your husband, I am not going to tell it's not. I don't think you should let this worry you. It's more healthy for you, and he proably wouldn't sleep worrying about keeping you up. Old phrase----if it ain't broke not try to fix it!
Just keep on doing what you are doing....seems to me you got it made, why look for trouble....you and your husband are loved, happy, and have a great sex life, what more can you ask for....
It's happening more than you think, and I can't think of anything that is negative about it in your situation.

So, you just keep on doing what you are doing....it's working, and you and your husband keep on loving one another,and don't worry about the seperate rooms, you are well rested, and so is he, and that's healthy...........

God bless us all...................

Answer 2

A lot of couples have this problem, I saw a story about it on Dateline or 20/20 or one of those shows.

First, treat the snoring. There are tons of new methods that can stop his snoring. Once you're at the point where you can sleep in the same bed and both get rest, then you need to overcome the habit.

You should try sitting down and talking with him. Tell him that you miss sleeping with him, and you want to try sharing the same bed again. Don't just assume he knows how you feel.

Answer 3

I have had the same problem with my hubby's snoring. He sleeps on the couch most of the time. I can understand your feelings however I don't know a solution to this problem. I will belooking right along with you to see if anyone has any helpful tips.

Answer 4

I think this is a more common situation than you even realize. Mine sleeps downstairs in the recliner. He knows I can't sleep with his snoring. He sometimes sneaks up in bed, but after he knows that I am asleep already. Try doing it on the weekends, and don't stress yourself over it! As long as he is showing you attention otherwise there should be nothing to worry about.

P.S. Mine sleeps downstairs, I sleep in the bed and I still have to shut the door he snores so loud...=)

Hang in there!

Answer 5

It might not be what the average married couple does, but if it works for you nothing is wrong with it. Maybe your husband could try to see an ENT specialist to help with the snoring or try Breathe Right Nasal Strips but like I said if you still have an emotionally healthy marriage.. go right ahead do what works for you.

If you are fine when you sleep together outside the house maybe you need to be the one to break the habit of sleeping in seperate bedrooms. Good Luck

Answer 6

Your husband can see a doctor about his snoring. If it is that loud that you can't sleep while by all means sleep in the other bed. If you guys are just not falling asleep together but you do snuggle and hang out together in the same bed that fine. Sleep is very important and if he is ok with the sleeping arrangements it is all good.

Answer 7

Why do you want to make a change? Most married couples do sleep in the same bed but it's not a requirement or anything. As long as your relationship and sex life are good, I wouldnt worry about it. You both deserve a good nights sleep. Besides, sleeping together in separate beds doesn't have much to do with the way you interact and feel about one another. If you feel that you can tolerate his snoring now...then go in the spare room and climb in bed with him. Maybe that will provide an easy opening to a conversation about your desire to sleep in bed with one another again. Hope my advice helps.

Answer 8

Maybe he is doing this out of habit now. try to tell him that you would like to get back to your old ways and sleep in the same bed. Show him that you would like to try again since it seems that when you are away you both sleep in the same bad.

I don't think he would disagree since you both love each other and have a great sex life. he should be very happy that you want this from him. Most probably for him its putting him down that you cannot sleep when he is in the same bed, and to make you happy without waiting for you to complain he just goes out.

Discussion is the key for a relationship to work. tell your boyfriend what you told us.

Answer 9

In the past, snoring was often considered no more than a nuisance that kept a bed partner awake at night. However, snoring may progress to upper respiratory resistance syndrome and obstructive sleep apnea, a potentially serious sleep disorder in which you periodically stop breathing during sleep. Because of this, it is important to see your health professional if you routinely snore.

You snore when the flow of air from your mouth or nose to your lungs makes the tissues of the airway vibrate. This usually is caused by a blockage (obstruction) or narrowing in the nose, mouth, or throat (airway).

When you inhale during sleep, air enters the mouth or nose and passes across the soft palate (the back of the roof of the mouth) on its way to the lungs. The back of the mouth—where the tongue and upper throat meet the soft palate and uvula—is collapsible. If this area collapses enough, the airway becomes narrow or blocked. The narrowed or blocked passage disturbs the airflow, which causes the soft palate and uvula to vibrate and knock against the back of the throat, causing snoring. The tonsils and adenoids may also vibrate. The narrower the airway is, the more the tissue vibrates, and the louder the snoring is.
You may be able to treat snoring through lifestyle modifications such as losing weight (if necessary), quitting smoking, changing sleep habits (such as sleeping on your side instead of your back), and avoiding the use of alcohol and sedatives before bed. If nasal congestion is disturbing airflow, nasal dilators (such as nasal strips), decongestants, or nasal corticosteroid sprays may be used. Oral breathing devices, which push the tongue and jaw forward to improve airflow, may also be an option. If these treatments do not work, continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) or surgery may be tried.

Snoring is not always considered a medical problem, so insurance may not cover treatment.

Answer 10

Believe it or not, this is very common. I know a few couples that do this. Sleep is very important, and can make for a crabby day if you don't get enough. It can cause more harm I think, because you feel angry at the spouse for not getting to sleep, laying there thinking all sorts of negative things.
Good for you and your wonderful marriage.