Should I contact the woman my husband has been emailing and talking on the phone to and tell her to stay away?

Question

Should I email my husband’s online g/f and tell her to stay away from my husband, or will I seem like a psycho?
I found out my husband is having an online relationship w/ another woman. They met gaming. Recently, I used his computer & discovered the relationship, which went from gaming buddies to emotional g/f b/f. Their emails contained "different time, place, situation, who knows what could happen”. I confronted him; he denied; I told him what I read; he admitted it. He said she wanted more & said inappropriate things, but she was a friend & he was being nice. He apologized, blocked her from GMail; however I know that they chatted elsewhere, texted and telephoned from cells, & emailed from work accounts. They talked 5- 10X a day. He promised not talk to her again & stays off the home computer, but he has his work laptop. I feel stupid & betrayed, but I love him. I can't sleep & am spying nonstop. We’ve had past problems & came close to divorce 4 mths ago, but things improved.

Answer 1

Yep id definately confront her..

Years ago.. i was chatting online to a guy that told me that he was in the middle of a seperation, that he'd been seperated for 2 years just hadnt gotten a divorce yet.. do to finances ect.. and that he had 2 kids..

We chatted very often, and he called me from work and home.. and i never thought much of it, he asked me not to call his house cause his kids were having problems letting go to the fact that him and his wife arent getting back together and was afraid it would upset them, he said he kept his private life seperate from his kids, and i understood that.. and since he called me frequent at different times of the day and night i didnt think nothing of it.. We were even making serious arrangements for him to come visit me, ect.. and was telling me he loved me.. that he needed me, ect..

Till one day i get this phone call.. from his WIFE.. i found out that he was lying to me, that he was still very much married..and that he has 6 kids.. i found out when he was calling me in the middle of the night he was actually calling me from the bathroom and she was sleeping ..

And i immediately stopped having contact with him after that..

So definately call her, and let her know what she's doing to your marriage.. if she has a heart at all she will back off.. and id go as far as doing whatever u could to change ur husbands cell phone, house phone, computer passwords ect.. to make sure that this doesnt continue..

And never feel bad for spying on ur husband, he has given u good reason to feel suspicious.. husband sand wives arent suppose to have secrets from each other.. and ur married , its ur house and what is urs is his, and whats his is urs, and u have every right to go through whatever u please,.. id also get a "spy program" put on your computer so u can monitor whats going on on ur computer cause if he knows u have access to the email acct that he was talking to her, more then likely he a hidden account that u dont know about....and the spy program will log everything he does on the computer...

Answer 2

Things improved ?? No they didn't. Maybe they improved for him. He got himself a new girl. You should not e-mail her. What difference will that make ? You told your husband to stay away from her and he's not doing it. What makes you think e-mailing her will make any difference ? Your the one who will come out looking bad. As long as you stay in this marriage you will feel stupid, betrayed, will get no sleep, will have no happiness and will go absolutely out of your mind spying. Is this the life you want ? He will not change. It happened before and he did it again. If you give him another chance he will only do it again.

Answer 3

No, do not contact her. She's got the ethics of a whore. You don't want to get contaminated. Your husband is a creep. He would be less of a creep, but still a creep, if he went with a real whore.If you love him and want to remain married to this crooked-spine creep, then tell him gently you know about this other woman. Don't discuss it with him. Just tell him, then kiss him lovingly (and mean it) on the forehead and tell him to cease and desist immediately. (Don't add "Or else".) Ask him to go with you to his computer, to open his files with this other whatever, and to delete everything while you are looking on. After he has done this, have explosive loving lustful noisy sex with him. If he refuses to end the relationship with that---that slut, he, too, is a slut. Get out of the marriage. You're stupid if you don't because that feeling you still have for him and are calling love, is the same kind of 'love' an addict has for cocaine. You're too good for the creepy crooked-spine he-slut.

Answer 4

ok first of all, things clearly didnt improve if hes talking to a girl online. dont you love it how guys dont consider it cheating if its through a computer? its pathetic.

you have two options here, ditch him or get your own guy on the side and see how your husband likes it. nothing like a taste of his own medicine. honestly, people that cheat on the internet are seriously sad people. and need to get lives. instead of confronting this obviously pathetic woman, just move on. dont sink to her level, it will make you look desperate to get involved and it wont change anything. all it will do is make them talk about you more behind your back and it wont stop the affair. and just because he blocked her from g-amil doesnt mean anything. they are still talking, and most likely, talking sexually. even if he were to carry this into real life and meet her, he would probably sleep with her a few times, get bored and come running back to you. dont wait around for it to get worse because it can only get worse from here. get out now and you wont look like a fool when he does eventually meet this woman. the thing about the internet is, its a fantasy and thats why he likes it. go get a guy thats living in the real world!

Answer 5

YES!!! You need to call her, You dont seem psyco you have the right to know what her side of it is. Things didnt improve if he is looking to cheat. what she tells you may hurt but you need to find out whats going. I have been through the same situation where my guy said that he wouldnt talk to her but they ended up talking anyway. You wont feel better until you get this off your mind

Answer 6

well, i wouldn't if i were you. that wouldn't stop your husband, and it probably wouldn't stop the 'phantom girl friend'. he already knows you found out and he continued his behavior.
obviously, something is wrong.

in the end, i would talk with him, maybe go on vacation together WITHOUT e-mail or cell phones. do whatever you feel in your gut you should do. gut instincts are usually the right thing to follow, don't let yourself be driven by emotions, they won't bring you anywhere productive.

Answer 7

I would have your husband do it in front of you, and I would have him prove himself by deleting all of his ways to contact her, like email block.

If you really want to see whats going on get a remote email spy, that attatches to an email you send then logs onto his computer and sends you everything he types to your own email....and go from there

Answer 8

You could contact her; but it isn't her fault your husband is seeking attention elsewhere! If you threaten her; someone else will just take her place. Don't you think there was someone before her? They aren't to blame. Being available to lonely guys is not a crime!! Reexamine your marriage...

Answer 9

You shouldn't talk to her, because he accept to have this kinda a relationship with her.... , maybe she thinks he is single, or divorced....
But first you have to respect yourself... it hurts..!!!!!! I know.
You have to think about yourself, what its better for you !!! you dont deserve been crying,and worrying , because of him........
You are destroying your life......
when someone loves you ... he never do something to hurt you..
maybe yeah, he loves you ,but not in the same way than before.
Try to talk again with him ,and if this continue.....
he doesnt deserve your tears.....

Answer 10

Personally I think you should whip his butt and then tell her to back off. Once you break up their stuff file for a divorce from the no-good loser!