Have you been abused before? If so how did you deal with it long term?

Question

Gah, family ussues, to sum it up my brother was abused (16) of course didn't tell anyone and well the whole issue is finally gettin' stratiend out, but how did you deal with it long term?

Answer 1

Yes, I was abused. For a long time I blocked it out, I just couldn't deal with it but the memories starting slipping back to where I knew what had happened, and it was a tough time for me. A lot of self-confidence, knowing that I was not guilty, there was no shame in it for me because I didn't do anything to deserve it - those types of things really meant a lot to me. I've been fortunate to have many friends who were supportive and helpful. My parents were not. I went to many counsellors, but only one reached me well, and then he moved to another place and I was "stuck" again on my own. I read a lot of self-help books, I didn't much take to the "forgive your abuser to find your way to happiness" crap; maybe forgive but certainly don't FORGET. Dont' let another child in the same position to be abused, that kind of thing. Do a google for Susan Smiles site. Lots of good info there. There are poems there from others who have been abused. Check out the stuff by Cinda.

Don't be afraid to try different things, there are like self-help workbooks, keeping a diary can be good, writing letters you may never even give to an abuser expressing feelings can be good. Take it at your own pace, it may take quite a long time to go from feeling a "victim" to a "survivor"; but I wish all the best of luck in the world to your brother. You CAN make good of this, I promise!!!

Answer 2

I still havent told my family and probably never will..
some families are just not open for that kind of talk

if it was a family member that abused him - you must realise that person probably abused others but those people are not talking

time heals.. I guess... dont make it an issue but dont ignore it if its brought up... support your brother - he did nothing wrong and hopefully he can get counciling

Answer 3

When I was 10, the boy next door tried to rape me. I hit him with a shovel after I struggled free of him then went and told my parents. He had been trying for months to touch me any way he could but one day he just snapped. He ended up in juvenile hall for 3 years. (He was 16)

Answer 4

i told my parents when i was 17 after 11yrs of child abuse my parents were fantastic we took one day at a time i had counseling for quite a while. im 31 now and and my life is much better i dont constantly think about it anymore.so my advice to you would be take one day at a time and try to stay strong. good luck

Answer 5

I suggest to get the person counceling, and be there as much as you can for them. I guess with the right help time can heal. You're never the same, but you can learn from it. I know I did. You live and forget, as long as someone's there for u. Hope this helps.

Answer 6

when i was like 6 i lived with my gram and cousin... my cousin started to molest me... he would say ill give you 5 bucks for a kiss and while i was on the computer he would be under the chair looking up my skirt touchin himself... little do i have to say he was not all there...
i blocked it out for years... like nothing ever happened and one day my mom had asked me about it and after denying it for a while... i finally went back to her and told her what had happened... i still am not over what had happened...
but my cousin had passed away about 3 years ago... i think it helped my process by that happening... yet i felt very guilty feeling closure when he died but life moves on...

Answer 7

ive never been abused..but i think family talksessions would be good. evryone sits in a room and share there feelings..it might hlp

Answer 8

no i have never been abused and i am thankful for that but seeing other ppls life and how they get abused makes me appriciate my life...

Answer 9

No I havn't thank u GOD !!!!Well I think u should try to take it one day at time and never look back.