Guys... I badly need help. Plz help me !?

Question

Guys... I'm in a mess. I cant be Myself. I cant get girls. I cant stay in a group of ppl. I feel alone. I'm reserved. And I just cant even be the "ME" I am on net.

I am a convent educated guy and I think I'm good at hellotsa things. But the fact is, I'm shy. I'm Slowly but surely getting outta it.

Mine was a 'Boys' school and so I can't just go and talk with gals. Since a long time I have liked gals but just havent been able to gather the guts and talk to them abt what I feel. Ppl who matter temme I really look gr8 and am an amazing person to be with.

I make a solid 1st impression but cant capitalize on it. An invisible wall just comes up in the middle which stops me from being myself.
I feel alone and kinda left out. Though I'm a stud in the class and answer every question correctly, off the class I think I'm a dud. I'm reserved and wanna change. All this is affecting my studies and getting to my head.

Can someone plz temme How do I be 'ME', Be Confident and Be Myself?

Answer 1

Research and development my young friend...

I had the same problem when I was a kid, the truth is like most other things it takes practice. Talk to girls you don't fancy. It doesn't even matter if they have teeth just lavish them with attention. Learn what works for you and what doesn't. Remember that it doesn't matter if these girls think you're a sleaze as you don't care.

Women like attention, tell them their pretty. This seems obvious but it works. People here will probably tell you it sounds cheesy but most Women LOVE compliments.

Answer 2

I am sure you are a great and amazing person, and if the people who are close to you see that and appreciate it, then it must be true!!! Ask yourself, is there anything you are trying to hide from people about yourself? If there is not, then you should not worry about having to put a wall up. Maybe next time you make a good first impression with someone, and you know you are going to see them again (say, in class for example), prepare yourself. Think....'ok i talked to _____ the other day. ____ seemed really nice, and usually I put a wall up at this point......but I'm not going to do it today. '
Just remember, the people you are interacting with don't think so hard about it.....when you talk to someone casually at an appointment or at the grocery store, do you dwell on it? No, so just remember people aren't as hard to judge. ALWAYS BE NICE AND BE YOURSELF!!!! You are unique and beautiful, and just remember that you are here for a reason, and GRAND purpose! Don't be concerned, or frusterated, just try and look at the good in people, cause then you won't be thinking about the bad things that could happen if you let your guard down... kill em' with kindness. Seriously, be nice to people...hold the door, say thanks, when you say hello say "hey. How are you?" with a genuine tone....people will respond nicely to you.
Try to find a group of people that you share common intrests with, people you think you can trust, and let your guard down to.
I honestly wish the best for you. To tell you the truth I don't know what type of school you are in (high school, middle school, college, or whatever), but if you are in high school or middle school....don't worry about it too much cause it really won't matter once you get to college. If you are in college, sometimes it is difficult to meet people at a big university, but try and find an organization to join, or get a part time job somewhere.

Answer 3

Shyness is a behavior pattern. That means that your feeling and behavior responses come from neuron connections that grew together over time. You can bypass these automatic learned responses by force of will, but as you say, it's uncomfortable.

The problem is, as you say, at this point in your life, you wish you had a different pattern. Changing this won't be easy. It will be at least as hard as giving up smoking. And there's no easy way to deal with this. You have to do the uncomfortable thing, which is to do and say things socially that feel uncomfortable.

I think success for you involves three things:
1. Be willing to do the hard things, to get what you want.
2. Baby steps first. Don't take up stand-up comedy...way too hard. Focus on something simple and basic, like introducing yourself to a stranger. Hard, yes, but doable.
3. Persist. You will fail as often as you succeed. You see, you're going against the grain. But keep trying. Only with repetition of the desired behavior can you ingrain a new behavior pattern.

Gradually, this sort of thing will get a little easier over time.

Some encouragement...others have done this, and you can, too. Focus on your need, and that will give you the will to do the hard things. Good luck!

Answer 4

My friend,You are only you you can't be anyone but you.Being shy and alone is tough. Ive been there. Try this: Get rid of the invisible wall. Just break it down.It doesin't matter.what matters is your a human being with desires and needs.Want to build confidence ? Be open with people.Get a conversation going.there are many girls you can be with.find someone that is shy also and show them how you break down the wall. Man,take one day at a time.Put God in your life.You are special in his eyes.I'ts time to break down the wall and open your self up to society. How do you break down the wall. you let go and let God.I hope what I have said will help you.Remember now once you break that wall people will come around.girls will also but always remember a girl is not a pin cushion she is sensetive. Show respect and when the first date arrives be a gentlemen.You know what I mean.Good luck to you my friend.Please break that wall you can do it,

Answer 5

Just my 2 cents...but when I was younger (14 - 25)...I was fairly shy and didn't think that I could do alot of things, or talk to girls, etc. I was always amazed at how other guys could and "wished" I could to. Now that I'm 45, believe me when I tell you...I was a real moron :) Anybody can talk to girls or do whatever they want to try. It involves risk taking. For example....anyone can sing (however, not everyone can sing well). So most people who may not sing well, think "I can't sing". However, if they found a band that played a music suited to their style of singing (grunge, alt, etc.), they'd be great singers.

Now apply that to talking to girls. It's the same as talking to guys (however, you have to be a bit more polite). So don't look at it like "guys/girls"....just look at it like you are meeting new "people". The best conversation starters are to ask them alot of questions. And don't worry about what other's think. Other people are probably in the same boat.

Answer 6

Sounds like you are normal. They call this teenage angst. Aboslutely everyone feels this way, male and female at some time during the age 11 to 25.
You haven't finished inventing yourself yet. You are a work in progress and you are not happy with the results yet and would not accept anyone being happy with them either.
You have some things worked out but are still deciding on the rest. Keep working on it.
Realize that you are normal. You can value yourself for who and what you are. When you value yourself then you will be willing to accept that others can value you too.

Answer 7

Hey! I am an old man, and in my day was a “cool Dude”. Stop worrying about things that will take care of themselves! Be you! If people like, or not like you, that is them! Think instead of how you are going to take on this world! You WILL meet a like minded female that admire and respects you for who you really are!
30 years from now, you think all this that you are going through has any importance? Live for your own betterment!

Answer 8

u seem 2 b a nice boy and only suggestion for u is 2 stop worryin and do things ur way jst bring bout an attitude dat i don give a damn b cool and most importantly have confidence in urslf jst think dat yes i can do it and dan it would b allfine cause it workd for me though

Answer 9

don't worry, girls are not monsters and in fact easier to approach than another guy. trust me. just have the confident and talk to any stranger (girls), they won't back away that much. but you gotta be careful not to leave an impression of agressive pervert though. good luck!

Answer 10

I find that personally..letting someone know straight off that I'm shy works...for example..."Hi, I'm kinda shy but i saw you and was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime?"............i am EXTREMELY shy also, but like you slowly coming out of my shell, so i find that this approach works. For me anyway, you might try it and see if it works for you, and if not, the girl your talking to probably wasn't worth it anyway. Move On! :D