My husband and me, we have had a rocky time of it recently, i been trying hard to make it work, but it all seems so pointless as he makes no effort. Although he constantly telling me he loves me.
We had a row, and to shut me up he slapped me round the face and threw me acros the room.
He doesnot see any thing wrong as this is normal,,, he has never REALY beaten me but this is a regular thing, but i am pregnant now, and for the first time i was realy scared.
He left 2 days ago, but he keeps calling and coming round screaming at me, i no he wants a big row, because he thinks we will make up, i love him so much, but i think, finaly this has to be the end.
But i no i am weak, cant stand the thought of being a 22 yr old single moyther of 2, he says no one else will have me now, i no he wants to come home.
What should i do
am i over reacting?
2006-08-30 02:23:09 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
honey, you right, he would never do it in public,
2006-08-30 02:38:47 · update #1
You should go ahead and plan your life in the future with him. You have to think about the child as well. Will he hit the child when angry as well? I think you have made attempts in the past to stick it out, but I think the time has come for you to get away from the abuse before it gets worse.
As far as being strong enough, god gave mothers an unusual strength that they usually are unaware of until the need it. You will be fine, it may be a hard road, but you will ultimately survive and your child will be better for it.
2006-08-30 02:44:26 · answer #1 · answered by Just Another Guy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you rather be alive, 22, and a single mother of 2 or dead, 22 and never seeing your children grow up? You may need to really consider this.
Physical abuse does not go away on its own. It continues to escalate unless treatment of some kind is sought. When will he get tired of just hitting you and start to hit the kids?
Do you really want to raise your kids in this kind of environment? What will they learn about marriage from this man?
I am sorry for you and your situation, but as you said, this finally has to be the end. It is the only way you and your children can have a better life. Things will not be easy, but it will be worth the work you put into making a new life for yourself and your children.
2006-08-30 09:37:30 · answer #2 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at it this way....if you have a daughter, you are teaching her that this is normal and when she is grown will find a man that will beat her. Now if you have a son, you will be teaching him that it is okay to beat women. I understand your fears, but you are an adult and it is your responsibility to make sure your children grow up in safe and healthy home. That BS about "no one will have you" is pure crap. There are plenty of wonderful men out there that don't mind women having children. It is time to leave your husband before it gets worse. Right now he is beating you and when the children get older and start to act out he will beat them. Your husband can sit there all day long and say "I Love You" but how does he show you? By hitting. Get strong and don't fear the world, your children and unborn baby will be grateful and love you for your strength. You owe it to them. There are plenty of 22yr old single mom's in this world making it work. Once you become single there are several programs that can help. Housing, daycare, grants that you don't have to pay back so you can go to college and many more to help you make it on your own. The next time he hits you call the police, press charges, and don't give in to him. There are strict laws about pregnant women getting beat up. Good luck to you.
2006-08-30 09:50:26 · answer #3 · answered by badoll 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you crazy? Seriously he slapped you and threw you across the room but he has never beaten you??? Please don't be naive. Get away from him and stay away. You may be a single mom but in time you can find someone else. There are plenty of guy out there that date and marry single mothers. (I had 3 children before meeting my fiance') Think of your children and put the feeling you have for him out of you mind. This is your life. He could throw you across the room and you hit your head on something and die. What's going to happen to your children then? Be strong honey. Get some outside help and limit his access to you. Also think about this....if he thinks that slapping you is normal, see if he will do it in the presence of someone else. If he won't then the ******* knows he is wrong. He could go to prison for even slapping you while you're pregnant.
2006-08-30 09:35:27 · answer #4 · answered by Honey Dip 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you love him? ARE YOU SURE?How can you be afraid of some you love or some who loves you? So when he slaps you around are you still loving him? Does he say he loves you then?
what if one day he throws you across the room and you lose the baby? or get hurt really badly?
Leave the FCUKER! this guy doesnt love you or your kids if he behaves that way, you may get hit but your kids also get affected by whats going on...You need to realise that he is not worth it.
Dont listen to his crap, he wont change and if you do leave him you will eventually meet other guys etc. But right now your kids and you are what come first. Just think abt the way your gonna feel if things get worse.
2006-08-30 10:18:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Him hitting you is abuse. Him yelling at you and calling you names is abuse. If he treats you like this, how will he treat the children? What are the children learning from you if you allow it to continue? You are not only effecting your own future, you are effecting your children's future. His problems are his problems, and if he is not willing to deal with whatever demon is riding him, then you need to GET OUT and get YOURSELF HELP. Of course it will be hard but staying will be worse for you and your children.
Contact a woman's shelter and get whatever legal paperwork you need done. Document EVERYTHING; keep a journal. Every hit, every verbal assault. Call the police, that way there will be a police report to help with documentation. If he hits you again, get a picture of the bruise. You need to have all the documentation you can. A woman's shelter is going to give you all the information you will need on how and WHY you should leave. Plus they should be able to supply some emotional support for you.
Violence in any relationship is ALWAYS WRONG. You need to get help NOW. You cannot help him with his problems but if you leave, he might realize just how serious his behavior is and MAYBE he will seek help.
22 years old with 2 kids is better than you and your kids being bruised and bloody(physically OR emotionally) 5 years from now.
My aunt left her abusive husband with 3 kids in tow. She ended up meeting a wonderful man and has been truly happily married for over 40 years.
Your "husband" is just trying to get you to stay so you can continue to be his scape goat for all his problems.
Get help and get out, if not for your sake, then for the children's sake.
Good luck and Goddess bless!
2006-08-30 09:45:09 · answer #6 · answered by crazygodddesss 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not over reacting. You need to think about you children. Is this the kind of relationship you want then to get into. When does he start slapping the children. Then what? As far as no one having you, what else is he going to say? Even if there isn't then isn't your children what matters. Plenty of single parents have raised good children and some of them were better off. But there are men out there that don't mind children. My dad was one. he married my mother who was a single mom and he even adopted me. So see it does happen.
2006-08-30 09:44:39 · answer #7 · answered by sscott12414 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once a guy thinks it's ok to hit a woman he will never change unless he gose and gets help.you have children to think about . if you have boys they are going to grow up thinking that this is ok behavior. and if you have girls they might go through the same kind of treatment that you are getting.now with that said let me tell you Ive been through an abusive realionship I had 4 children and stayed foe 11 years. You shouldn't stay out of fear of being alone. you shouldn't stay because of the children. you should pack your bags and get the hell out of there. and do not go back untill he gets help for himself .and you should also seek some help for yourself too. so you can gain some self worth. becausse you are worth more than just a punching bag! good luck
2006-08-30 09:39:29 · answer #8 · answered by gigi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you have seen this a thousand times, if a man sorry GUY abuses you and you stay with him, he will do it again. Leave him, your childeren don't need to see that nor do they deserve the risk of being hit them selves. It's hard not finding a woman now day's without children and a real man would not care if you have children. Don't stress it.
2006-08-30 09:44:17 · answer #9 · answered by YAHOO SUCKS ASS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One act of violence is enough. You must end this now once and for all. As hard as it may be and as afraid as you may feel I assure you that the chances of this happening again are high.
You mark my words on this. If you have a strong desire to become a punching bag and place your children in danger well...so be it. Only you have control over this.
Good luck
2006-08-30 10:02:27 · answer #10 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋