In love but I know it is wrong?

Question

I am not looking for judgement...i am looking for honest answers. I am in a situation and need advice...I reciently had an affair with a married man and my heart is breaking I do know it is wrong but i want it so much...he is the love of my life...i have tried to distance myself from him in the last few weeks but i long just to hear his voice...i think about him all the time...i dont wanna be there when it is convient for him but i'll take it if there is no other time...i know it sounds bad but i am so in love with him i can not eat or sleep...He did tell me he loved me too..So what would you do? I tried to walk away but my head and my heart are fighting..i know in my head it is wrong to be with a married man but my heart tells me different...please help!

Answer 1

I have just finished going through the same thing, i love him, he says he loved me, but when it came to it for me did not leave his wife.

Dont hang around being second. A few people have said what life as a second will be like. You will always be miserable. Walk away. If you want wait and see if he comes back to you. He knows how you feel, he knows you would be with him so it is up to him.

He is not being blackmailed to stay with his wife so he has to make a choice. It aches to your very soul I know, but in the end you can not force him to choose you.

Just remember, everytime you go back and he does not make a decision you will get hurt.

Be strong and give it time

Answer 2

You will never be number one in his life. Married men are a dead end and will tell you anything, including I love you, to make sure you stay around. Most likely they are thinking of you as a whore. Men lie all the time. How do you feel spending weekend alone or for the rest of your life? How do you feel spending holidays alone? How do you feel sleeping alone at night? That man is a dead end. You don't need him in your life. You can do much better with someone that can be there for you 24/7. You talk as though there are no other men on this planet. I guarantee you that there are 10 better man than that married man you have right now. Fight it, resist and don't let him back in your life. Love yourself better so someone good can love you. When you are holding on so tight to garbage, someone good could pass you right by because you won't let go of the garbage. Good luck and God Bless you.

Answer 3

Have you looked seriously at what your life will be if you remain the other woman? You will spend every holiday alone. You will spend most weekends alone.

Any time his wife or children need him he will cancel your plans and be with them. He may not be able to even see you on your birthday. If you get sick or hurt and need someone there for you - it won't be him. You will wait on his time schedule your entire life.

Did you want children? Too bad since he will never agree to this. It would take away time from his family and could cause problems with his children's inheritance in the future.

There must be a reason why he is willing to use you for sex, but is not willing to leave his wife and children to be with you. Have you thought about that? Why doesn't he promise you he will divorce and come to you? Does he really love you? Or, is it something he says to keep you waiting for him when he is ready for sex?

You will never be able to go out to a nice restaurant or to a movie without him fearful of being seen by someone. Your time will be spent in the shadows. You cannot bring him to parties and show him off to your friends. In fact, you can't even tell your friends about him because someone may tell his wife.

On the other hand, you get sex and a man (sometimes) and can still live a free and single life. He cannot tell you not to go out because he is never there.

Answer 4

Listen girl, there are certain stages in life when you have to think about others rather than yourself. I can understand how would you feel when you're in a situation like this, and I won't say you're a homewrecker coz a person in love doesn't feel anything but her love for her beloved. So try to think rationally. They say time is a great healer. And I've experienced that.

You're in love with that peson for....2 years, 3 years....I recently broke up with my love after 7 years of very close relationship. And by close I don't mean physically, but emotionally. She was like my goddess and I, like her own child. But consequences turned out such that we had to part ways. And who took the initiative? I did.

Both of us knew that I was more serious and loved her more, but even then I controlled my emotions and bade farewell to her couple of months ago. And know what? 2 nights before she got engaged to the person I hate the most. But I never uttered a word against him, felt happy for her being in a bride's dress, and prayed for her success.

If you love him but he's committed to someone else, let go. You won't understand it now, but write it down, you'll learn a lot of things when you'd overcome your emotions, you'll learn a lot.

Another advice would be to stay distant from anything that would remind you of him, and better still move out of town if you can for a while. Time does alter a person's memory and feelings for another person, that's a fact.

I feel your pain just like it's mine, coz I've gone through this thing very recently. But I've turned my face to God, to the sunshine, and all the shadows have fallen behind.

Answer 5

Walk away. And do it not because the relationship is "wrong" but because you deserve better than to be with a cheating man. Yes, this will hurt, but unfortunately at this point you have no painless options. It will hurt to remain involved (it is not easy to be the other woman!) and it will hurt to leave. The hurt of leaving will pass much more quickly, though. There are good men out there, but you'll never notice them as long as you remain in your current situation. Good luck.

Answer 6

I am sorry you put yourself in this situation. You may think this guy is the greatest thing, and that you're in love with him. But from what I can see this is not a good person to be in love with. He is toying with your emotions. Think of this for a second, if he cheated on his wife with you whats to say that if you even do get together that he won't cheat on you?? Is this really what you want? Honey, he wants his cake and a little tart on the side, he is using you. -- Find someone else. Stay away from him. I know it may be hard but you'll be doing yourself a favor!! = )

Answer 7

ok i understand completely where u r coming from and how u feel. I have been in this siuation myself. I had to just leave it alone, my guy was never going to leave his wife so i told him he had to choose me or her and he chose her even though he wanted to keep me on the side I had to let it go. If u keep giving in u will never be true to urself. I found a guy who loves me for me and who wasnt married LOL u will find that special someone but if u would like to talk about it some more feel free to email me or talk with me on messenger it klyald for messenger and also for email its [e-mail] ttyl I hope this helps u .

Answer 8

Too many times we follow our heart without following what's right. I sympathize with you, but you know the RIGHT answer. You have to walk away. Imagine yourself being the wife with a cheating husband. Won't you be heart broken, too, if you found out your husband cheated on you?

Answer 9

You must make the break. I am sorry but in the long run it will be best for you. Use your mind.... do not listen to your heart in this matter....
I know it is tough and again I am sorry but you MUST move on....good time to take a road trip... go somewhere and enjoy yourself. You will be OK.
Good Luck.

Answer 10

how can u tell that u are in love? it can be imp-actuation , it can be anything but not love. u know he is married, then why in the world u want him, take u r mind off him, and just relax, let the heat die, the qualities what u ve seen him are present in all men find a best from the lot.......please do not fool with your emotions!!!