This is heavy on my mind. I am seperated by my choice, my ex was not as willing to let go. After 2 months of seperation, he knocks on my door and wants my wedding ring back. (We were married 8 years). I gave it up because I didn't want him to think I was harboring feelings for him. However, I am uneasy about my decision, because I would hav eliked to some day give the ring to one of my children. What would you have done in this situation. (I have his wedding band)
2006-08-30 01:21:37 · 36 answers · asked by Lemme tell ya... 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I only have his, because we exchanged them back. He also told me, before I slammed the door on him, that if I wanted it back, I knew where to find it. Last attempt to get me back...?
2006-08-30 01:41:48 · update #1
seems like a desperation move on his part, let him keep the ring
and even mail his back to him as well, with a note that says "now you having the matching set"
2006-08-30 01:49:45 · answer #1 · answered by wilfreds805 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don’t see that there was anything wrong with giving him the Wedding Ring back.
Maybe he is short of cash, and needed to sell it.
I’m inclined to think it would be ‘bad luck’ to give your kids a Wedding Ring from a marriage that didn’t work out.
Sure, if your husband had died or something, then that’s a different story.
If the love was strong throughout the marriage, I’d be all in favour of giving the kids the ring.
In this case however, it was your choice to end the marriage, so you obviously weren’t happy.
Giving the kids your Wedding Ring, could be seen as passing your unhappiness on to them!!!
2006-08-30 01:28:21 · answer #2 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frankly I think deep down you still have feelings for him even though you guys are seperated. Thats the only conclusion I can draw considering you held on the wedding band. It has some sentimental value that relates to your marriage. Thats ok, thats normal, moving on is kinda tough. Honestly if he wants the wedding band, give it to him. Maybe you should try telling him about what you'd like to do with before handing it over first though. He might understand.
2006-08-30 01:27:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand that this is not a pretty situation.But I think it wouldn't be proper to give your wedding ring to your child because you've separated and he is not your husband anymore...if you could have been together than it would be nice.also I think that if a man knocks on your door and asks back for your wedding ring this is not a good thing.
2006-08-30 01:29:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the situation, I probably would have done what you did, and, like you, regretted it later.
Apparently, he wasn't a bad father -- otherwise, why care about giving the ring to one of your children? At some point, you will almost certainly be able to communicate about your mutual children, because they will continue to need both parents in their lives. So, down the road, tell him something like, "We didn't work out, but you will always be the father of my children. I know I gave you back my wedding ring, so it's yours to do with as you wish now. But I am hoping we can give it to [child's name], just to remind her that something very special did come out of our marriage: her."
2006-08-30 01:48:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you should regret anything that you have ever done. Everything you do has a meaning and is an outgoing image of your choices !
See the bright side: the ring stood for a failed marriage, so it might be good that you have not given it to one of your children.
You shouldn't be afraid that you still love him. I think that you felt bad because by taking the ring back, he laid dirt over everything that happened. But don't forget that he is the one who was hurt and his act was childish by trying to make you hurt too.
2006-08-30 01:35:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could ask him for the ring, telling him exactly why you want it. But if you think about it, why would you want your children to have a memorandum to a failed marriage? Especially if you wanted it to be a wedding gift. Wouldn't it be better if you picked out a new ring for your children as a symbol of your love for them as a mother instead?
2006-08-30 01:28:08 · answer #7 · answered by Biology mayorgrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it wasn't right for him 2 do that u where married 8 years and he GAVE it 2 u n the beginning. Maybe he just wanted it 2 get back at u and he really don't want it just u. Talk 2 him about it explain u want it 4 your children when they get older.
good luck
2006-08-30 01:25:35 · answer #8 · answered by Happi @ss 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you shouldn't of given up the ring. It was yours and it spent 8 long years on your fingure. You could of had it made into something for one of your children. I mean, what is he going to do with it? Give it to someone else? Now that is tacky. I definetly would not have given it back. He doesn't deserve the satisfaction. If he wants his ring, give it back...
2006-08-30 01:30:11 · answer #9 · answered by luv him 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have given it back. In all fairness, you have his. I think he only wanted it back in some attempt to hurt you or get a rise out of you. I understand you wanted to give it to one of your children, but he felt it was something he had to do. Maybe after he gets over the whole rejection thing he's feeling, he'll consider giving it back so you can give it to them. Otherwise, leave it alone.
2006-08-30 01:29:24 · answer #10 · answered by T.G. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have and did render my wedding band for the reason you gave - to exhibit my seriousness in my decision. As a solution to his wedding band, this can be passed to one of your children, or if large enough a jeweler might be able to reduce and make several bands.
2006-08-30 01:48:10 · answer #11 · answered by packhunt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋