How do you prevent history from repeating itself?

Question

Given that you grew up in an environment wherein the older generations are not good character models, how do you go about getting rid of these qualities which are inculcated in your character as a person? How do you prevent yourself from repeating the same mistakes that you despise/dislike from them? What would it take in your character as an individual to depart from these habits?

Answer 1

Part of maturity is learning to recognize our parents and elders are human beings, complete with strengths and flaws. There is genetic predisposition, environmental influences, and nurturing components to our make-up. Our elders can teach us what works and what doesn’t work. Actions frequently speak louder than words. There is an additional component that is frequently overlooked, and it is one of spirit.

We participate in our circumstance on some level. We are here to assist others, to learn, and enhance our spiritual growth. Part of this stems from a quiet acceptance of our circumstance and then moving forward with the hand we have been dealt…in faith there is something of value to learn from it…and to benefit others. Sometimes…the greater the adversity, the greater the spirit.

Answer 2

A Lot depends on the genes but even more so on the conscious efforts of the self. I have to admit that my parents are close to perfect but like any other humans have their share of imperfections. They are good character models no doubt but there are certain things which I would not like to have in my behavior.
Like for example, my dad's habit of taunting. If something is not done in a particular way as per his desireness than he would be angry and not say in a direct way. But in a way to others that indirectly gives a message to us that we are inefficient and not good enough or were not good enough on a particular occasion. Another thing is getting angry too fast or being impatient about things. And the last thing is drinking. Though my dad is a very very controlled and disciplined drinker, seldom have I seen him come home drunk or sit at home and drink, but I do despise whenever he is. I don't know the specific reason behind it, but I sure dun like it, when he comes home drunk.
Well what have I done to see that I don't imbibe this bad qualities, is very simple. When I am very angry I try to relax and calm down, take a couple of deep breaths, and try to attack the reason of my anger, in a composed manner.
I am very impatient at times, but I have also learned to let go and forgive. Afterall its inhumanely to expect everything to fall in place as per our requirements. I also have learned to tell people whatever is the truth. It may hurt when it is told for the first time, but there is no cracks in the relationship, no pain or hurting due to indirect mocking.
Last but not the least, I have tried to keep away from people associating with whom, I could risk taking the drinking habit. I have also stayed from occasions, where my friends would force me to something like that. I know it is impossible to refrain all through my life, but my efforts will be there. Lets see how much successful I really am.

Answer 3

Sometimes when u grow up in an environment like that, its all you know and no matter how often you say "i'm never going to be like 'whatshisname' your bound to find yourself doing and saying some of the things you never thought you'd say, sometimes it takes moving out of town into a new place and surrounding yourself with new people with good habits,in order to keep from repeating history, good luck.

Answer 4

Rule - i myself trust you i inspire each and every physique to bear in ideas the countless crimes that Labour committed. a million. The minimum salary 2. Peace in Northern eire 3. the top of ethnic cleansing in Kosovo 4. The Independence of the financial business enterprise of england ensuring costs of pastime might desire to no longer be used for political benefit 5. decrease type sizes for in elementary terms 7's 6. Devolution 7. extra spent on well being care 8. 29 million human beings employed extra beneficial than ever until now 9. finally paying off the conflict debt 10. greater help for third international worldwide places - an end to poverty properly I a million/2 trust you......pick I proceed?

Answer 5

Therapy helps. It helps you to analyze and become aware of your inner programming. With the right therapist you can attain the tools necessary to change your programming, to change your inner conversation into something more positive and something you would like.

Forgiveness also helps. You have to know that your parents did the best they could with the knowledge they had and the environment they grew up in. Try to empathize with them and know that inspite of everything they love you the best way they know how to love. It is also important to forgive yourself, and know that all families have their quirks and most are dysfunctional. There really is no norm except on TV and in the movies, and that's not real life.

Answer 6

You need to stop and think about the repercussions of your actions. If the choice you are about to make would put you down the path that you despise, you need to look at other options. If you have a friend whose values you trust, you may want to talk things out with them.
I have heard that it takes three generations to change the bad cycles that are created by our family.
Good luck in your creating a new path for yourself!

Answer 7

Watch, listen and learn.
The choice is there for anyone who knows their history.
Colin Powell grew up in a hostile environment, but he made the choice to take a better path.
The same can be said to a lot of rags-to-riches people.
In the end, its the strength of character that determines a persons success or failure in life.

Answer 8

Learn from the past, identify the qualities that you disagree with and actively work to avoid and prevent them. The first step is to acknowledge what you disliked about that person's character and then try to identify how it is affects you.

Answer 9

Interesting question. I absolutely ABHORRRRR the trait of arrogance in people abd i get this i know primarily from my hate of it in my mother (Freudians attack me now with your judgements hehehe). In doing so i have caught myself sometimes being arrogant around her in anticipatory defence. I've gotten over this but the point i think is that that which we most try to avoid we ferment within us. Where the attention goes the rest is sure to follow so try to model yourself on the heights of value YOU see in the world without avoiding the ones of past experience-coz this way you may get caught in the shoals and reefs of obsession anyway. Deal with it as it arises (if it arises) within yourself and in this way you not only avoid the paranoia of fearing its occurance in you but you can keep going with what you yourself want in life.
I believe we can break the cycle of history by not obsessing over it, by letting it all happen and if the values we wish to build are good enough anyway then they will disolve any negativity from your historic influence.
Thats my silly wee twist on things.
Hope it helps in any way.
Thanks!

Answer 10

1. Be aware of their mistakes.
2. Define your own rights and wrongs.
3. Follow your beliefs.
4. Be in control.