Friendliness vs. Flirting - What's the difference?

Question

Where is the line drawn between acting friendly and flirting? And since when did laughing at jokes and having a sense of humor count as flirting?

Please help. My friends say that I "string along" guys. I myself have also noticed that most of my male companions have thought that I had a crush on them, and so tried to "date" me when we first met. It's really awkward to be so misunderstood. I just want some normal guy friends who I can joke with and confide in, as I do with my female friends; is this too much to ask? I'm asking this now because I have just moved to a new area recently, and I don't want to keep repeating the same mistake (though it may be already too late to avoid...).

And meanwhile, while we're on the subject, how do you tell someone that you just want to be friends in a nice and non-awkward way?

Answer 1

I've had this problem before...I just learned most guys just want to get in your pants.

If you want to avoid it, just casually mention how you are NOT ready to date anyone seriously now, fit it into any first conversation you may have that doesn't seem to obvious. This way you don't directly say it to them but still get your point across.

Answer 2

Whats the difference?? Well put it this way, would you flirt with your best friends grandfather? No, you wouldn't! There is a distint difference. A certain look, but especially touching during a conversation. Also whats being said in the conversation. If you were talking to someone your attracted to and want to impress vs someone your not attracted to and simply want to be polite and friendly. There is a big difference and if you think hard enough you will know that. Some people though take plain friendliness as something more, especially if your an attractive female and he is a male. Thats not your fault. I think if you sense this or even just susspect this its easy to include somewhere in the conversation that your single and loving it!! Or, your not interested in looking for a partner or, i dont know but something to let this person know your not a free agent looking for a bit!! If its happening too often, you need to find a way to make it clear your only looking for friendship and no more. Good Luck

Answer 3

You are doomed.
I am in a profession and play sports where there are very few women so I have always hung out with the guys. Unfortunately, if a guy has even the splinter of interest in you, he will make even the most imagined sign what he wants to see.

My advice is don't do the 'touch' thing like putting your hand on their arms when talking. For some reason, most guys see that as an invitation.

Unfortunately, there is no way to make all guys understand that you just want to be friends. You just have to pull away from any that get too amorous which is tough sometimes. It means turning off your personality and being a bit cold and most guys will resent it. The mature ones will hang with you though and you can build a good core of friends that way.

It is a tough call. I wish you luck!

Answer 4

I have the same problem. I have 2 older brothers and I am comfortable around guys, but they sometimes take it the wrong way, but once they get to know me, they realize that it's who I am and they learn to understand it. Most of my friends are guys and if you lead them the right direction and make sure they respect you from the beginning, you can avoid such problems. If a guy can't get the hint that you are just friendly, that's a problem he'll have to deal with.

Always be honest with guys and everyone for that matter. People respect honesty. There is no awkwardness in being straight forward, but have tact and make sure you are sensitive to others feelings.

Answer 5

You must be good looking.
Take my advise,you are right,you should be able to joke around,
goof off,flirt,play grab a**,or any kind of horseplay among your male
friends.
More than once in a circle friends of which I was a part there was a girl who hung out with us.We all hung out and had a great time &
there was not one headache. I have to say,I hang out with decent
people,we were all of us good guys in our mid 20s.
One girl I remember was so "Beautiful" it almost hurt your
eyes to look at her.She was just like one of the guys.Playing pool
eating pizza,drinking beer,helping with the barbecue.Again these
were all (myself included) "Good decent cool guys" and again
there was never one problem.
What you have is the right thinking and the wrong group of
guy friends.Or maybe they are young . Any way you look at it
they are not being cool.
Your thinking that it's fun to hang out with guys is right.
They have the dune buggys,dirt bikes,jet skies,and a bunch of
other stuff and they like to have a good time and cook on the
barbecue. But they need to be "cool" guys,not jerks.
In my day there was tons of cool guys,today Well you are
going to have to search a little.
Good Luck!

Answer 6

ahhahah good luck finding guy friends, unless ur ugly, oh and your mommas fat

Answer 7

1st.'s for real, serious, whereas the 2nd.'s just fun, nothing more.

Answer 8

Friendliness s Good..............Flirt is SICK.