I have been married for 4 years and have put up at times and not put up with him when he has had mood swing outbursts about 2 a year? Sex is great ? he is 44 I am 27 I love him but he is a negative person I am a posative person he's responsible I can be too relaxed about things? I have been living apart from him for 4 mo and I was just about to move back tommorrow but tonight he and I were on the phone and he told me to shutup? I told him you need to say honey can I say somthing or I have to ask you? I have no desire to even go back home now?? I have to know whats the majic words or key for getting a man to finnally acheave a respect you? with out having to file for a divorce? We have a little boy...
2006-08-29 20:21:14 · 16 answers · asked by leloyoalot 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
conversation hum.. I answered he asked me very happy when I am comming home.I said I have someone who wants me to qualify them for a home and Im going to let them fax me their info and do there app over the phone then he said will you shutup tell the guys this(my renters at the house with him)I calmly said , did you just tell me to shutup?and he said yes !I am trying to get a word in! ( but he had not made any indication it earlier on. Then he hung up turned his phone off. Marriage is important to me but I have noticed things are not right I think I've been in denile to keep my self from a borken heart.
2006-08-30 00:28:22 · update #1
Don't get mad over the simple things. Guys really don't mean to hurt you with little words like 'shut up'. Instead, tell him not to talk to you like that. Be stern, don't whine. It only ticks guys off when girls whine. you have to be strong and lay down the law. It isn't natural for a weak person to anger a strong person and witness the strong person ceding to them.
Be tough, let him know what you want. Figure out what you want first, and let him know it as directly, and quickly as possible without elaboration, whining, or insecurity.
THE ULTIMATE HINT TO WOMEN WHO WANT RESPECT:
When you are making a bid for a guy's respect, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT try to receive his sympathy or comforts.
If a man is disrespecting you, he needs to know to shape up. You are telling him he needs to change for you; you are the one dictating the rules. If you show insecurity by asking him pestering questions, it's like asking "Am I fit to make you respect me?". Why should you ask for the right to demand it, when you already know you are demanding it. Do you see charities giving you an order while asking if you will donate?
People respect those who deserve respect, whiners do not get respect, insecure people who only care what others think don't get respect. Stick up for yourself, don't look for his approval, look for the respect you want. If you are a flimsy about it, you will fail, I assure you. It takes one flimsy statement to lose a guy's respect.
It may sound mean, but MAKE him respect you, and give him a REASON to respect you. As soon as he knows what you want, he will spend the time he spent disrespecting you giving you compliments instead.
2006-08-29 20:56:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Respect is earned. It comes from the recognition of personal value in the other person. There are no majic words for respect. It comes as a result of your actions no empty words. The question you must ask yourself is did you deserve to be told to shut up. You probably do not think so but you tell me that I have to ask to say something you might get the same response.That sounded like a remark his mother might make. No guy wants to be married to his mother.
The biggest aspect of respect is you don't get it if you don't give it.
2006-08-29 22:02:34 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry hon, I can't really help you out with your immediate problem, but I will tell you this.....
I am with the most wonderful woman alive. If I found myself having to question the validity and integrity of my relationship with here in a forum such as this, I'd be seriously wondering if I am with the right person.
I know I have a bit of a reputation on Yahoo Answers as a clown, but I do have a heart. Your question stuck a chord. I have been where you are.
You may not want to hear this..... but do what I did - ditch the lust, and find LOVE.
It's out there, I know it is, I am living proof of that.
Good luck, I wish you the best.
2006-08-29 20:27:38 · answer #3 · answered by cat_the_aussie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, make sure you are economically and emotionally independent. You are patient enough to explain what you want but most men have difficulty with the soft skills of listening. They demand respect rather than ask or wait for it. Sometimes the man just needs to take you on an equal footing.
2006-08-29 20:44:39 · answer #4 · answered by justme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are nomagic words or secret key for aman to have respect for a woman.
I grew up respecting the thoughts and ideas of others.
I will pause when they start to talk.
I do not take their ability nor right to speak their mind away from them. H does not respect you in the way that you should be respected. He does not respect you now, it will not change in the later.
2006-08-29 20:37:52 · answer #5 · answered by Mark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Respect him first...
When a wife respects, nurtures, and affirms her husband, it deepens her love for him. On the other hand, when we don't regard something as valuable and neglect it, our feelings for it begin to wane. At the top of any man's list of needs is respect from his mate; God created men that way. He needs respect as much from his wife as he needs air to breathe. A man who doesn't receive respect from his wife is a man who begins to wither on the inside. He's all right as long as no one is standing on the air hose running to the tank labeled Respect.
2006-08-29 20:55:09 · answer #6 · answered by heatherlynnmorrow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No perfect formula for telling men to be respectful. You have made a commitment to be his wife so you are stuck with him for the rest of your life. What best you could do now is never give up trying to talk to him nicely. Hopefully, one day he will change his attitude towards you.
2006-08-29 20:30:24 · answer #7 · answered by Rod 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldnt even come back if he talks to you over the phone or in person like that. hes disrespecting you in everyway. Let him go...
2006-08-29 20:24:54 · answer #8 · answered by ~*Jenny*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u want him talk with him in a way that is nice n calm, without offending him, if u feel u cant continue so u just tell him exactly how u feel n why u want to leave...
2006-08-29 20:26:12 · answer #9 · answered by smousa2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl if he don't respect you from get go he ain't gonna. and sometimes they act like they respect you and your thoughts but no. seriously give him one more chance and even if it hurts leave him because your little one will grow up seeing that and not only treat you like that but every other woman he meets.
2006-08-29 21:23:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋