why do i feel lonley?

Question

i am married with three girls they are all in there teens. have been married for 19 years . i also have worked with my husband for 8 years.....so why do i feel so lonley as if i have nobody in the world.. i have been to the doctor he said to try changing jods. is there anybody that feels the same way.

Answer 1

It can be very difficult working with your spouse, I did it for 10 years, you find that because you are together at work and home you have nothing fresh to talk about. Its good to be able to get home in the evening and both be able to talk about whats gone on during the day to each other. But you loose this when working together, also any problems at home will be brought into your working time, so it seems as if its 'there' all of the time. When you don't work together you get a break from problems at work. Working together broke my marriage up in the end, so think about getting a job away from your husband.
Also your children are growing up and possibly getting close to leaving home this also can be scary and exciting as you can feel that your time spent as being mum can possibly now be spent on yourself and you may wish to do something that you want to at last. So lots of changes are possible and you been married for 19 years (nothing wrong with that) not surprising you feel the way that you do....Just realise its not uncommon to feel this way, its not wrong and go with your gut feeling...and you will make the right choices.

Answer 2

I use to feel the same way even though I had people around me that really loved me. I couldn't figure it out either. I'm not sure if this was the reason I changed but when my husband and I split up I found a new love (myself). I know lots of people say learn to love yourself, well its true. I made myself a deal when ever I felt alone and didn't feel I had anyone I went into the bathroom sat in front of the mirror and just talked to myself. I have a wonderful man in my life now but my best friend is still the woman sitting in the mirror. Sometimes I can't wait to talk to her. Yes I am a very down to earth normal person lol. :) good luck

Answer 3

Hi,
I think it's not a nice feeling to be lonely and it happens from time to time. I think because you have a family of your own now and they are grown up and probably go out with their friends you would seem alone. You also have been in the same routine for so many years and now it's time to change and it's a bit hard.

I think maybe you need to discover yourself again by perhaps taking up a hobbie or a course, start to meet people and share an interest with other people.

What is a good interest is piano lessons, it's something that's relaxing and also creative.

I hope this answered your question.

Answer 4

It's probably the pre-empty nest syndrome. Your girls have their friends and their own activities. You probably don't meet many people while working with your husband. I would say you need a change, maybe not in your job but to get out and meet new people. Join a club or group. If you like to read, the library has nights where people get together and discuss books. Form a card club with some friends. Then you won't be so lonely and will be prepared for when your girls eventually leave home.

Answer 5

Yes i understand, i think you can be surrounded with people and still feel lonely. In my case its been when i feel like noone understands me and what i am going through. You say you have been to the doctors? Why not ask about counselling? He/She can help you get to the bottom of it, is something bothering you that you feel alone with? Or maybe you feel like there is something you have missed out on in life, it could be a number of things. If you have time how about an evening class in something you love, that will boost your self esteem and help you meet new and like minded people. Could it be your career? Maybe you need something thats yours, i love my job it gives me so much acheivment and satisfaction. If you work with your husband then maybe your missing out on having something thats just yours. Or maybe now your children are grown you are feeling unneeded. (not true, i am 31 and will always need my mum!) I am not saying i know the answers thats just a few suggestions. I would recommend a counsellor though, i have been seeing one and she is fantastic. Good luck x

Answer 6

When you feel like this. Sometimes you need another individual to talk to. Find that special friend you can confide in! It will help you out a lot. And just because your life "seems" normal, doesn't mean your happy. I don't know if you are biblical or not, but if you are, try reading the Bible. It helps a lot!

Good luck.

Answer 7

You feel lonely because all you know is your family and your commitment. You have nothing for yourself as you are seeing your life at the moment. You wont' admit it, but why else ... You want something outside of your house in you own hands that is only yours. it may be a job or a hobby, but you are getting false emotions coming from getting stuck in a rut. Please think about it, and if I am completely wrong just ignore the point.

Answer 8

Try changing jobs and make new friends. Go out once in a while for a girls' night out and enjoy yourself. Be careful to make your life somwhat a bit more fun and interesting because your feelings might lead to depression.

Answer 9

one reason could be because you are totally familiar with your husband and the two of you take each other for granted. the trick in sustaining a long term relationship lies in trying to maintain the spark all the while. this is easier said than done, but done properly, this definitely has its rewards !!

Answer 10

you are just at the point of you life where your kids dont depend on you anymore, you job may not be that demanding you could change job for somthing with more challenges will let you meet more people and you will apreciate you hasband more when you come home at night having not seen him all day.