Recently someone decided that it would be fun to poke mockery (on Yahoo Answers) of the death of our son, Zachary that we tragically lost on Aug. 2, 2006 (second trimester loss), to see the post go here http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AgvfvT8UVTdkz94gVQkYgvzzy6IX?qid=20060829033342AAIaG9w
I thought it would be important to post what to say to someone who has endured the pain of a miscarriage..
Things you should say
Do call her and tell her you are sorry for her loss.
Do send her a card or flowers to show you care
Do let her talk as much as she needs to or wants to.
Do give her a hug to let her know you care.
Do offer to help with housework, babysitting or other things that she may not feel up to doing.
Do acknowledge her baby.
It is okay to say I don’t know what to say or I don’t know how to help.
Do call and check up on her. The pain does not go away in a couple days.
So with that posted what else do you think would be appropiate?
2006-08-29 20:08:49 · 9 answers · asked by jaredsmommy2004 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Forgot to add .. to find the details of where I got the information of what to say .. as well as what not to say go here -
http://lifestrategies.thingseternal.com/storms/pregnancyloss/friend-miscarriage.html
2006-08-29 20:14:21 · update #1
I saw your question and was going to answer it with pretty much what you already put up there. I think a lot of times people forget that losing a child during pregnancy is still losing a loved one. They tend to think it isn't as painful as it probably is. I, myself, have never suffered through this, but can only imagine the horrible pain one must endure.
People also need to remember that we all grieve differently. Just because someone doesn't react to death the same way we might, does not mean they do not feel it as deeply.
Some sensitivity people please!
2006-08-29 20:20:08 · answer #1 · answered by Nikki Tesla 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well First of all I am very sorry for your loss. I was lucky and had 2 babys very small one at 23 weeks (now 6) and one at 30 weeks (now 2). First of all you have to know that it was not your fault. You could have taken more Vitamins, Excercised more or less, eaten better, and so on and you know what, the same outcome would have happened. Your body or God or both knew that your baby would not have survived a birth or had a quality life either because of a neurological issue or a physical issue totally out of your control and ended the prenancy at the stage that you were in. What is important now is that you gave the baby a name and an identity. That is at least what may seem small but is very important. It shows that you are a true parent and that in that simple and very hard way that you love Zachary and that he still has had some kind of existance that will remain with you. By giving him a name he has an identity of being your son and that he is loved. That is important.
2006-08-29 20:58:38 · answer #2 · answered by Jim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I had a misscarage at the very end of March of 2004, then augest of that year I found out I was pregnant again but then also lost. Now I'm pregnant again, but my best friend found out a couple of weeks ago she was pregnant but just recently lost it. What I had told her is that I was sorry for her lost and to not go down the road I did, because with me I had gotten really depressed not wanting to do anything. I didn't want her to go the same route. I think what you wrote is really awsome, I think that you have everything thing covered. I had one or 2 people say means things after we lost our 2 pregnancys, but a lot of people don't understand how hard it is to lose something like that. I really hope you are doing ok, don't try to let it get you down. I wish the best for you and your spouse or b/f!!
This is a little off subject but I give ou a hi five for being a military wife. I was when my husband and I lost both our 2 pregnanys. My Husband recently got out of the Navy Seabees.
If you ever want to talk write me @ charlenelipshin@yahoo.com.
2006-08-29 20:22:01 · answer #3 · answered by charlenelipshin 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her I am sorry for her loss and call once a week or ten days until the due date to see how she is doing.
That said, I am sorry for your loss. I hope you are taking excellent care of your own health and body during this very stressful, sad time.
2006-08-29 20:11:43 · answer #4 · answered by baggyk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think you have a very good list of do's..There are more cases out ther like your than you know. Good job and sorry for your loss..
2006-08-29 20:17:02 · answer #5 · answered by fallen_but_forgiven 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I am dealing with that now, my friend, had a miscarriage less than a week ago...i have no idea what to say to her...but to listen whenever she needs to talk...
what else can i do?
2006-08-29 20:27:45 · answer #6 · answered by Two Peas 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think what you have up is appropiate. I have suffered a loss recently and so has one of my closet friends.
2006-08-29 20:12:22 · answer #7 · answered by xcx_zqz_kvk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have suffered 3 of them and one of my friends had a stillbirth. I'm very sorry for rude people with no heart our prayers are with you. God bless you.
2006-08-29 20:15:35 · answer #8 · answered by shaylee b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"I'm soprry for your loss." Says it all.
2006-08-29 20:15:52 · answer #9 · answered by Lee J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋