Why do people tell you they are not mad when they really are?

Question

Why is it easier to drop a friend than to be honest and admit they have angered/hurt you?

Answer 1

people don't like to admit to their weaknesses. not in public and rarley to themselves

Answer 2

They say that to be cordial. But for a perceptive individual, that question doesn't even need to be asked. People are usually transparent. If you're not the one who instigated the angst, the question may have changed to "are you okay?". If the question, "are you mad?" was asked by the person who knows caused it him/herself, then that's a pretty *** way of rubbing (not adding) salt to injury. The reverse answer is usually sarcastic in nature. If the questioner didn't create the offensive emotion yet given the same answer - the questionee usually doesn't trust sharing his/her emotions with anyone else at that time.
If someone drops your friendship over the denial of truth, let it be. That's their shortcoming. Of course it hurts; but life goes on. Somehow, they will grow up and time will heal the tension between these friends.

Answer 3

Let me think about this while I'm typing. Maybe I can explain it to you through my people. Where I come from NO means YES...."I'M NOT HUNGRY." .... means: "Yes, please I would like some, if you don't mind."...and the person who offered something is expected to force the person to accept...but this same person expected a No - otherwise the person being offered something to would be considered greedy....complicated, huh? I guess it's just a way to put some mystery into otherwise dull everyday communication.
I must admit though...I belong to those people who will not tell you straight up that I'm angry or mad about your behavior...unless you are my flesh and blood (another one of those ways of thinking and behaving I was taught )...it is not my job to tell you how not to anger people....if you did something without considering my feelings...then it's because you didn't care about my feelings...or simply because you thought you could get away with it. When I'm not being frank with someone ...then I already made up my mind...that I don't want to be friends with someone who needs to be taught manners first.

Answer 4

I think it's partly a fear of confrontation. You might prove that their anger is unjustified. Perhaps their pride is hurt by whatever has happened in the situation, and they feel they can keep the upper hand that way.

For whatever reason, some people would rather hold on to hurt/angry feelings than try to solve the problem. I agree with the person who said it's partly a defense system. If you cut off someone who has hurt you, they can't hurt you again, can they?

In any case... it's best not to try to not take it personally. It is an issue with them, and how they deal with life, and not with you.

Answer 5

Some peple have been taught that it's not okay to show anger. Some poeple are afraid to show anger or to let someone know they they've been hurt...it makes them vulnerable.

Answer 6

because people want to escape from the problems rather than facing n going through it.

Answer 7

Mad is a sign of weakness. Only the strong keep an even emotion and act out of logic and not emotion.

Answer 8

For the same reason people say "no, not all" when you accidentally call them while they're sleeping. Its a defense mechanism--a very hard one to circumvent at that.

Answer 9

To avoid a confrontation.

Answer 10

cause its what people do there to scared or wont just plain out say it