Ok pals, we broke up..but we have good strong history. This is one of those love/hate relationships we had of extreme kinds. We even bought a house together but he signed off the deed to me now. But, he stills is around, though he left to explore different women few months ago..but if he does not call me atleast once a day, he says he misses me and he has to talk to me..but he still wants to have sex with me, he still disapproves me seing other guys...as he is still jealous..but we are not intimate coz of me...but he says he will be always physically attractive to me..oh BTW we are 4 years of relationship..the final thing is should I make plans with him for the long weekend. I am confused...I dont want to get attached to him and get mixed signals...which he already clarified that he is not trying to give me mixed signals..coz he does not want relationship? But wants sex...which I dont want..i just want us to be good friends and go and have fun..what should I do? Thanx for reading...
2006-08-29 19:47:30 · 11 answers · asked by Msfunloving 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Here comes "tough love." You have to ask yourself "How does this relationship benefit me? How does it help me to grow? Why isn't it a stable relationship?" It sounds to me like he's a little controlling and you haven't decided that you're secure enough to leave a less than satisfactory relationship. Your ex wants the proverbial cake and appetite that goes along with it. I don't know what your ages are, but after four years of this you have to ask yourself where it's gotten you. Also, what kind of friendship can you have with this guy? Frankly, I don't see the confusion. You need to determine what kind of relationship you want- whether it be with this or any other guy. He's an ex for a reason. If you want to stay with him, then be prepared for more of the same. If you want out, then don't set yourself up for long-term disaster (which it sounds like you have at present). You say you don't want to get attached to him and get mixed signals...sorry, but you're already there. He left to explore other women, but doesn't want you dating other men. Why does he HAVE to talk to you? Why do you need to be with him over the long weekend? He doesn't want a relationship or to give you mixed signals yet he's always around. If a girlfriend of yours was having this situation, what would you tell her? Bottom line: Dump him, stop falling into the cycle and don't try to be friends with him because you can't. The most you can be is cordial.
2006-08-29 20:04:41 · answer #1 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a classic case of a man wanting to have his cake and eat it too. He is relying on the fact that you still care deeply for him and want to use you for sex without commitment.
If I were you I would not allow this to happen. You do not need to go on any type of weekend or do anything else with him. He had you and released you. But he still want to f*** you...what kind of s**t is that? And he has the nerve and audacity to dissapprove of you being with someone else. Who the h*** do he think he is...your maker??? Is this what he mean when he says he cares for you? Does this show that he want you to be happy? Its more like he want you to be his love slave!
For your sake and well being you need to concentrate on loosing him and start setting some new goals for yourself.
LOve yourself! Never let any man rule or even suggest to rule your life. Kindly let him know that sometime later in the future maybe the two of you can become true friends...which would be Platonic and certainly without sex. For now though you are going to head in another direction.
It will be tough I know but this is really what is best and I think you know it. Flushing him out of your system will give you a new lease on life. You will regain your pride, dignity and self respect. It will revitalize you and energize your whole being. I would also suggest you stop him from calling...again that is just for his own means. Maybe once in a while but certainly not daily. If he truly cares like he says he does then he will respect your wishes. He can go on with the other women he so dearly wanted to be with and not get in your way of finding your own true happiness.
2006-08-30 03:14:23 · answer #2 · answered by Robere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MOVE AS FAR AWAY FROM THE CREEP AS YOU CAN GET!!
He is a leech and is only making you suffer. He is playing the field and wants you as his safety backup. You are the 'ole reliable' toy that he can put on his shelf for a rainy day. You are better than that and deserve to be treated better.
If I were you, I would also be worried about how he would behave if you started a new relationship. He sounds a bit whacked to me and likely to do something that could hurt you.
Save yourself, if there is ANY way you can leave the area - GO AS FAST AS YOU CAN and don't give him your forwarding address or phone number!!! If you can't leave the area, change your phone number and move and use a post office box for mail.
YOU DESERVE BETTER and he sounds like a stalker to me.
2006-08-30 02:59:25 · answer #3 · answered by fish 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What???? You know that you already know the answer to that. If you want something to happen between you two again, then go. You probibly both still have a few embers buring for each other, but if you are happy in your current relationship, don't go.
How would you feel if your boyfriend.went on a long weekend with his ex? But then again, you aren't married but you could jeapordize your new relationship. Don't just be a booty call....if your ex is out looking for other women, don't lower yourself to just be his friend with benifits.
2006-08-30 02:56:00 · answer #4 · answered by bridetobebrandie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are terribly mixed up alright...the end result of your question is not going to matter 'cause you have your head in the clouds...you painted a very disturbing picture that included ..."he disapproves of me seeing other guys..."I hope you won't get hurt (physically) by this equally "confused" guy.
2006-08-30 02:54:57 · answer #5 · answered by Pooks 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask if he can handle not having sex with you that weekend. If he says yes then go have fun but he will probally try to have sex with you anyway. You have to ask yourself DO I WANT TO GO even though he is going to want to have sex? That is your answer.
2006-08-30 03:04:59 · answer #6 · answered by pam b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sweety, good friends you will never be because he is atracted to you, but not only with his body but with his soul also, because his jelous! why don't you give him another chance? maybe this time will work!
anywai, about this week togather he wil definetly have sex with you, even you say that you don't want, but you actualy miss his hot kisses, his touches, everything that he was dooing before you broke up!you want it also!
2006-08-30 03:37:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON'T GO!!!!! The thing he wants from u is just SEX. He dun wan any relationship. He's a pervert! Stay away from him!
2006-08-30 02:50:47 · answer #8 · answered by lalala 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
plzzzzzzzzzzzz dont go , n i knw what ever v r saying u will not follow that n will do that which v doesnt want u to do .............. so dont mess up n call him now and tell him u dont want to see his face
2006-08-30 02:57:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't go. And no, I am not available this weekend.
2006-08-30 02:50:20 · answer #10 · answered by Stan the answer Man 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋