Me and my husband have been married for nearly four years. I have difficulties in getting pregnant. This has not been a problem before, we keept on trying, but suddenly after I had been to a doktor and it maybe increased our chanses a little he said he didn't want any children! I was totaly shocked! I couldn't belive my ears.This was five months ago but he still hasn't changed his mind.
Some bakground. He is a muslim from former jugoslavia, I'm swedish. He is now thanks to me a swedish citisen. He is five years younger than me. I'm getting in the age that if I don't have children soon I wan't have any...
I do think he loves me. He is always taking care of me and looking after me. When I asked him to leave me he cried and didn't want to move.
Am I being a fool? Is it just comfortable for him to live with me at the moment? Or is it his religion that is getting in the way?
I don't understand.
2006-08-29 19:41:32 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It is not him that there is someting wrong with, we have tested two years ago. We know what the problem is and the doctors aren't saying never but difficult.
2006-08-29 19:54:18 · update #1
Well Mimmi, I can tell you right now that it's not his religion. If he was a staunch Muslim, he would have never married you in the first place, my bet is that he's scared stiff at the idea of having kids, when you were unable to have one, he was able to go along with the idea of having a kid and not actually have to worry about having one. Now that you have a better chance of having kids, he's probably thinking about how much work it would be to raise one, how much he'd have to give up. But if you were to get pregnant, he'd probably step right up and help with everything.
Don't worry about him, if and when you do have a child, he'll still be there for you.
2006-08-29 19:50:22 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Right 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's got problems in his past that make him not want to have children of his own, or he's not interested in sharing you with another person (like a kid). Religion probably has nothing to do with it. You aren't a fool; parenting is a wonderful experience, and wanting it, come what may, is a biological need for women. If you feel that having children is more valuable than your relationship with this otherwise wonderful companion, then leave him. I don't say this to be harsh, but if you really want kids, and he doesn't, then you are in quite a pickle...
I knew a guy who didn't want kids. Then his girlfriend of 6 mos got pregnant. He loves that kid more than himself now... Let him know that it's okay to be afraid of things, but once you have a baby he'll wonder how he couldn't have wanted one!
2006-08-30 02:51:03 · answer #2 · answered by Angela M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can find out the answer to the question. Sometimes by backing off from a desperate attempt to have a baby relaxes you and then a women will get pregnant. But if that was what he was trying to do, then all it did was make you more anxious. Ask him to tell you in no uncertain terms what changed his mind about having a family. And then you have to make a very serious decision. Luck be with you.
2006-08-30 02:47:56 · answer #3 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a relationship where I wanted children and my husband didn't. In the end it was the deciding factor between us... he may love you, but if he won't give you what you truly want in life, is it worth giving up for him? As much as I loved my ex, I'm so thankful that I didn't give up my dream of having a child for him. If he truly loves you, then he'll want you to be happy... whether that's with him or without him. Maybe you should sit down and talk to him and tell him how you feel point blank, maybe marriage counseling to find out why he changed his mind so suddenly? Then you can make a prepared decision on what you need to do for YOU to be happy.
2006-08-30 02:51:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would imagine that before you ever got married you discussed having children and I think that if he agreed that he wanted children then that is very unfair of him to not try to have a child with you now. If you married with the intenions of starting a family then he is very selfish to try to back out on that now and if he loves you with all his heart then he should understand why you want a child so bad. If he didnt want children then the appropriate time to make that decision would have been before marriage.
2006-08-30 02:53:46 · answer #5 · answered by Ms. FairyLove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are thinking about it all wrong. I am sure it is 1 of 2 things. 1- he knows the pain it will cause you if you dont get pregnate and wish's to spare you or 2- if a man finds out it is he who cant father a child due to him than that is so personal to him that it could be fear of this that HE would have to face and i am more than sure that is hard to take as a man.
2006-08-30 02:49:18 · answer #6 · answered by ladonna b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you spoken to him? maybe his religion makes him feel guilty for being with you and it may seem like a sin to make babies with you?
I would say, show him that you have needs too & if he loves you, he will also have to learn to want the things that you want out of life. Be prepared with what you say to him.
2006-08-30 02:48:37 · answer #7 · answered by Claude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk it over with him and find what his problem is. You can also adopt if he doesn't want kids. If no, you're goign to have to move on or wait on him until he matures to want to have kids. its better to find someone with your own interests. DIVORCE happens! :( But its better to be happy and lonely than living unhappily married.
2006-08-30 02:47:59 · answer #8 · answered by Junia Z 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell him religion is fairy tales and if you dont give me a baby a guy ydnm will
2006-08-30 02:45:00 · answer #9 · answered by Matthew Shlmn 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋