My husband & I just got into a big fight. He blames everything on my 18 year old sister that lives with us. He is a control freak & when he can't control something he gets crazy. We were talking about my sister tonight & he took over the conversation as always, which is never a conversation because he talkes 70% of the time & when I have imput he gets upset because he says I am interupting. He haven't had sex for about a year & we just cannot get along. We are suppose to travel on Thursday but he has left tonight saying he is not coming back home until my sister is gone. I can't live with his drama anymore. I want to leave him and have already started looking for my own place. I don't understand why he is overeacting & I am just so fed up. He blames everything on my sister when it is his attitude, his language, and his disrespect. I want to leave him. Am I overeacting or is he right? Should I just leave, move out, & move on?
2006-08-29 18:32:55 · 40 answers · asked by Looking 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband is the one that doesn't want to have sex. Believe me . . . I love sex & have been initiating it but he turns me down. I have also suggested marriage counseloring but he refuses. My sister has been living with us for about 2 years because she has not place to stay. She goes to community college right now. My husband has always had a control problem but maybe I though it was cute because I was 11 years younger than him.
2006-08-29 18:48:38 · update #1
To leave him is an unchristian advice but if I were in your shoes, I would leave esp if there are no love & respect in my heart towards him anymore. But always remember the vows you made. In the eyes of God & men, you are married and must remain together, for better or for worst. You have to make up a decision which is "right". Don't you think he's gonna change his ways? You can try to work things out, go for counselling, talk to him etc.
But again, I'm speaking for myself, I will leave him if it seems hopeless.
** If he refuses a marriage conselling means he doesn't have intention to change and have a harmonious relationship. What an irresponsible, immature person he is. Chauvinist! I had an ex-bf who's like that & I dumped him. I hope he leaves you instead(& don't ask him to stay) so you will not be completely responsible to a "failed" marriage, I mean, to be free of guilt. I really don't want to tell you to move out but yes, you have to move on with or without him! Hope the best in you.
Not wanting to accomodate your sister is being selfish of him. What if the person was his own sister or someone impt to him? He shouldn't use your sister as an excuse, and must not let it affect you & him. That is so unreasonable.
2006-08-29 18:37:27 · answer #1 · answered by Muffin 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well I think your sister needs to go first, then you can tell your husband how you feel. A man can get intimitated when you move someone in & they cant do the things they normally do. And it has obviously messed with your sex life. Helping your sister get out on her own will probably cost less then a divorce & the stuff you havent even thought about that comes along with divorce. All men suck, so if he doesnt hit you or cheat on you, you have it better then some. You need time to rekindle that old flame & you respecting him by telling your sister she has to go may be the first step, she doesnt want to be the reason your marriage failed. Its a partenership, so get on board & do your part to keep the ship a float but make sure he knows you need him to try to, Bon Voyage Sister!
2006-08-29 18:42:23 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So if your sister were gone would it be different? If not then the problem is not your sister.
Without getting into all you said. You don't even seem to like your husband. If you don't then split the ties now. No sex or love for a year. Your not married your just living with two other people.
It is not working move on and be happy.
2006-08-29 21:04:12 · answer #3 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
blood truly is thicker then water, but the whole story isnt being told here,, and it only has one side here.. my guess is the sister and hubby have had relations and the guilt is starting the trouble,, hubby wants a reason to kick out sis and wife deep down suspects and doesnt realize it, but has to stay true to her lil sis, whom at this age should have her own residence. if wife wants to leave hubby do so and find different residence from said sister. its probably hard to be intimate with another adukt in the house and this could be pent up sexual tension........take a weekend to yourselves and get away and be romantic, and then come home and move the sister out, even if you have to pay for her apt or house for 6 months and see if that is the problem, if it doesnt work both should walk away
2006-08-29 18:53:41 · answer #4 · answered by kewl69charger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it sounds to me like he doesn't want your sister there and if that's the case then she needs to move out. I would be crazy too if I haven't had sex in a year. More than that I would be crazy and would find it very difficult to find comfort in my home if my husband's brother lived with us. First you should send your sister packing and then you deal with fixing your marriage. If it doesn't work then go move in with your sister.
2006-08-29 18:40:00 · answer #5 · answered by Creole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the problems with your husband started before your sister moved in then maybe some time apart can help you make your decision.If it has happened since your sister moved in then I would help your sister find her own place(if of age) and try and work things out. Either way it sounds like he feels "put out" in his own home .Talk to him about this if he comes home. If he doesn't come back-then move on and enjoy life!
2006-08-29 18:39:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You don't say what it is about your sister that your husband objects to. Is she behaving badly? And why is she living with you and not her parents? Not having sex in over a yr. shows that something is very wrong. I wonder if the age difference has something to do with it too. How much do you have in common with him? Once the rosy glow wears off you must have something in common to fall back on. You should probably separate.
2006-08-29 19:03:05 · answer #7 · answered by crazywoman88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
would need to know first why your sister lives with you. I'm sure there may be a very good reason. But when u marry the 2 of u become a family. 1 more person in the house is not good. You probably don't want to hear that u need counseling. u do.
2006-08-29 18:38:08 · answer #8 · answered by winkcat 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Has he been like this even before your sister started living with you? If yes, then maybe you can consider leaving. If no, then maybe your sister should be the one that needs to leave. It's probably hard to do but if your husband doesn't like your sister then she should leave instead and work out your marriage first.
2006-08-29 18:40:59 · answer #9 · answered by John Quest 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No woman deserves to be witha man like that, i have known people that keep the womans OLD parents for ages, out of their own good heart! Whats a sister, he is just being really childish, dont give into his spoilt demands. Just get up and GO!!!!
2006-08-29 18:51:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋