How much fighting is too much fighting?

Question

My hubby and I have at least one big dispute a week. In between we scold and bicker and nag. We do occasionally laugh and have a good time together. But these fights are really getting under my skin. Isn't it better to be alone and not have those fights? I'm worried about my health. I get these tight feelings in my heart after these hefty arguments. I know in every marriage there are differences, but when is it time to "hold" and when is it time to "run?"

Answer 1

There are differences in all marriages but if you cant work them out without fighting then its time to get help.
There is healthy disagreements and unhealthy.... Sounds like your are unhealthy....I wish you all the luck in the world!!

Answer 2

It is not how much you fight but how you fight that's important. If you constantly bicker and nag in between the big blow ups it can't be healthy. There's usually a serious break down in proper communication at this point. You have to learn to deal with the way you approach your differences more constructively. Don't argue when you're both hot headed. Instead, take a few minutes to cool off from each other before attempting to resolve your differences. No marriage is perfect and even in my marriage, as compatible as my husband and I are, we still have disagreements once in a while. It is just how we handle those disagreements that's important. Talk about your big disputes in a calm, collected way and don't even sweat the small stuff.

Answer 3

Every married couple could find things to fight about in every marriage there has ever been. Some of us choose not to. We have now been married nearly 40 years and have had precious little disagreements. Give and take. Give in to the other. Admit you are wrong if you are. Who is the boss. Who looks after the money. Who looks after the childrens schooling. These are all things that can cause arguments and probably fights. I do not understand it...................... if you love him, why fight him, and why even consider 'running'..............

Answer 4

Occassional arguing and bickering is normal for anyone, but when you have health concerns because of your arguing, then you need help. If you love your husband, and want to work things out, maybe you should consider marriage counseling. If you are thinking that this is too much for you, and you don't even want to give it a chance, then that is up to you.

Answer 5

Wow! Did I write that question? I wonder how old you are. If you are young enough and independent enough to start over I think you should do it. The fighting will only get worse and I know exactly what you mean about those tight feelings in your chest. Do you have kids? Not good for them either. Seriously think about it. Good luck.

Answer 6

The answer to your question is the answer to this question:

How much fighting is too much for you?

If it's too much, what does he say when you tell him it's too much? You haven't told him, have you? A relationship is supposed to be a two-way street, or have you forgotten that? Talk to him about it. See what he says. Maybe he agrees, maybe you both want out. If you simply hand him divorce papers, he'll get defensive, and give you the court battle of the century. If you both agree that it's time to end it, it may be a bit more bearable. For both of you.

Answer 7

for you to stop hurting each other you should talk things out in a calmer way.....once you are in a fight you might say things that you do not mean, or things you say out of anger. It's normal to fight or have an argument but you need to settle it right away so that you would not have to tackle same issues again and again.....have patience, try to understand him better....

Answer 8

Why don't you see a marriage counselor?