My son is now 2 1/2 years old, but I find that my sex drive hasn't completely returned. I find that after a full day of work, coming home and taking care of my family, the only thing that I have on my mind is getting some sleep. We want to start trying for another baby..so I am really worried that having another child will just kill my sex drive completely. I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced this.Thanks!
2006-08-29 18:10:53 · 9 answers · asked by Chewie 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband and I have been married 5 years.
2006-08-29 18:11:43 · update #1
Oh honey...you need to instill "date night" into your relationship. Your relationship with your husband means more to your child than you think, and you need to re-lite the committment and bond you have with your hubby. I understand that not every night will be red hot in the bedroom, and most nights probably won't. But setting aside time to "date" your husband is very important for your marriage. Hire a babysitter for the night and go out to dinner and hit a hotel, or just come back home after your child is asleep and relax and get sensual with eachother. Everyone feels sexier after feeling rested. And yes...everyone is too tired for sex at some point in their lives...or at least women experience this because child rearing and home making and working outside the home are hard tasks to balance, and often we put our romantic lives on the back burner. The most important thing here I think is communicating with your husband about your feeling over- extended in all your duties as working mom, and ask for more help from him. That way, you will feel more rested for bedroom romps. If you have the money, hire a cleaning person for a couple hours once a week. Ask your hubby for a massage, or tell him to pitch in with laundry or dishes. I think its little things like that that help make all the difference, it eases our burdens. See how that goes, and then decide a couple of months from now if you and your husband would like to try for another baby.
2006-08-29 18:28:57 · answer #1 · answered by nellie_3000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you are tired. Being a mom, wife and holding down a job is very tiring.
It is important, I have found, that you really make the time in your weekly schedule, to have a couple hours each and every week to 'court' each other like you did before you were married. It is amazing how such a simple thing can change your mental attitude not to mention your libido. It doesn't have to cost alot of money...just even laying a blanket on the floor after the baby has gone to bed, lower the lights and have a 'private picnic' with some music and no, NO talking abt diapers, teething or work....just talk about what you love, and then how much you love each other. Trust me, honey, you will discover that buried sex drive is really ready to go! You have just forgotten how to take care of yourself and each other. MAKE the time!!
2006-08-30 01:22:58 · answer #2 · answered by Nisey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question you should be asking is who hasn't. It took me two years with each child for me to get back to normal. IMO having another baby can make it worse especially if you don't have a support system and you are doing everything on your own.
2006-08-30 01:17:35 · answer #3 · answered by Creole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I feel sorry for you. Have you thought about quiting your job? I know I had more of a sex drive staying at home, because I was more rested. (It also really saves on child care costs... esp. now that you want #2.)
2006-08-30 01:16:41 · answer #4 · answered by Lib 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A new baby not only killed my sex drive, but also my social life. I don't even have the time to socialize with adults outside of work anymore?
2006-08-30 01:27:26 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. Ma'am 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats part of why we chose to have only one child. But my sis has two children who are 2 and 3. She says she and her hubby keep telling themselves that they will eventually get their lives back. But for now they seem to be happy to get it when they can.
2006-08-30 01:17:49 · answer #6 · answered by jagbeeton 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds about normal. You've got to get out without the kid every now & then. I know - easier said than done, but it must be done or we'll all go nuts.
2006-08-30 01:16:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I saw this on Oprah...You each pick one night of the week..On your nite your husband does everything sexually for you ..you do not touch him ....on his night it's your turn to do everything for him......It is supposed to help
2006-08-30 01:40:03 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.. They said it all.."date night" helps ALOT trust me...
2006-08-30 01:39:03 · answer #9 · answered by Don't Judge me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋