Whats his deal?

Question

We broke up many times throughout our year and a half relationship because of his arguing. He will love me for days at a time then he will despise me and start arguing with me. If I ask him a question he will add to it and become explosive. He will tell me that he doesn't want to be with me and say things to me that can kill a person i.e. if he lived under the same roof he would blow his braiins out. Then days will go by and he will say hes sorry, apologizing, how he doesn't want to loose me, and how he was the one who was wrong. But then it all happens again. Like tonight he text me saying he hasn't heard from me. Then he starts telling me how im wrong again. I think he has issues and I know he wont get help. We are both 29 and im afraid that if I go back again it will never change and the heartache will go on forever.

Answer 1

If you keep going back to him, why should he change? He is getting what he wants. If he really loved you and wanted to be with you he would have changed the first time. I am not one of those people that says people can't change, because everyone does change at one time or another. But it usually takes something happening to make them change.

Stop going back to him. You will be better one your own, than with someone like that. Eventually you will find someone that will love and respect you, and not make you unhappy. I am not saying that couples are happy at all times, but when it comes to the unhappy things out weighing the happy times, that is a clue of when to get out of the relationship.

Good luck!!!

Answer 2

At 29, dont you think you have wasted enough time on this? This really a no brainer. Im just being honest and really dont mean any disrespect, but I have found that people that act as you have really dont listen to good advice. So forgive me if I am a bit skeptical and annoyed that my time may be wasted here.

On the slim chance you really do want advice worth taking, I will say what I think...GET OUT NOW!!!!! To stay is not only giving him permission to use you as a door mat but saying you enjoy it. And it also sends this message to other potential dates!
Break your cycle with him NOW, for good!!!
Retrace your steps and figure out when and where this cycle starts...then BREAK it. Or you will just be on here again with another man and the same scenario. It gets old for those who try to help you and Im sure it has to OLD for you. Life is short, start your new adventure today, I wish you luck!!!

Answer 3

Your relationship sounds like one that would be better ending that continuing. The antagonism you both feel is not a good basis for any long term relationship.

He sounds controlling. DO you want to go through life being controlled. A relationship should be a partnership.

Best to walk while the walking is good. You are young and lots of life ahead to enjoy and you will with the right person.

Ask yourself this question? Do I want him for the father of my children? Would he be a good or abusive or neglectful father? IF you answer yes to either question, run lady run!

Answer 4

If I have said this once, I've said it a thougsand times. Any woman that is dumb enough to KEEP RETURNING to an abusive relationship is dumb enough to get what she deserves. Next time you split, Tell him to kiss your 'fed up' ***. No matter how bad things are or what happens in our lives on thing will remain the same. 'our mothers did give birth and raise dogs, jsut to pass us off to some lousy insecure chest pounding jackass, that can only find it in his heart to treat us like DOGS. If you break up from a long realtionship just once thats once too many, best to cut your loss, cry your river and remember all the BAD shi* you don't have to put up with any more.

Answer 5

You are in an abusive relationship and you need to walk away from it. He does have issues and he needs to deal with them, not you.

It sounds like it's just emotional abuse, but it's probably how it starts, what next? A slap? A punch?

I cannot pretend to know what you are going through so I won't, but this does not sound healthy at all. Get out and move on with your life.

Answer 6

i think your right- sounds like he has serious issues. if he wont get help then you need to stay away from him. sounds like your in a (verbally) abusive relationship and that isnt good for anyone. suggest time apart and if he continues the arguing, tell him that a realationship like that isnt going to work, you dont want it to and you arent going to stay in it. if you really like him, or even love him, i know this may be hard, but you gotta think about you , too. he isnt the only one who matters in your relationship.

Answer 7

Of course he has issues. Save yourself a lot of time and heartbreak and move on. Trust me, this man has serious issues and things are not going to get better. He will end up dragging you down to his level because misery loves company. Get out now. You won't regret it.

Answer 8

look I'm telling you from the heart it sounds like this guy has some mental problems and he also has some problems within himself that maybe you can't help! why are you going to take that abuse!!! yes I said abuse he's tearing you down..emotionally and psyhcially, sorry my spelling isn't the greatest but you know what I'm tryin to say! I don't know you and your situition but I'm sure you could find someone better and treat you better! good luck!!! take care...

Answer 9

This guy definitely has issues. Sounds like a control freak to me. You should end this relationship as soon as you can, or your life will end up a living hell.

Answer 10

Read more about emotional abuse and see if it applies to your relationship because it sounds like it could. His behaviour seems to follow the cycle of abuse so I think more information is what you need. It must be very difficult for you.