Can we stop the insanity?

Question

♥and just get drunk instead?

Answer 1

How did you know I was drinking at this very moment? Are you pyschic? Let's not even talk about insanity, let's just do a shot.

Answer 2

Here-Here!!!

Let's do that!

Here's two jokes someone gave me, read them, they're quite funny.


A philosophy professor stood before his class. He picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. "Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this is your life.
"The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The sand is everything else. The small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you."

But then a student took the jar which the other students and the professor agreed was full, and proceeded to pour in a can of beer. Of course the beer filled the remaining spaces within the jar making the jar truly full.
The moral of this tale is: That no matter how full your life is, there is always room for BEER.


A cop saw a car driving erratically and pulled the driver over. "Sir, I need you to breath in this breathalizer for me," said the policeman.
The guy said, "I can't do that, office. I'm an asthmatic. If I do that, then I'll have a really big asthma attack."
The cop said, "Okay, then I need you to come down to the station with me and we'll do some blood work."
The guy said, "I can't do that either. I'm a hemophiliac. If I do that, then I will bleed to death."
The cop said, "Fine. Then I need a urine sample from you."
The guy replied, "I can't do that either. I'm diabetic. If I do that then my sugar will get REALLY LOW and I may die."
The cop then said, "Okay, okay! Then I need you to step out of the car and walk this white line."
The guy said, "Sorry, but I can't do that either."
The frustrated cop said, "Why not!?"
The guy said, "Because I'm drunk."


Two Irishmen were in a lifeboat after their craft sank in a storm. After hours of floating aimlessly, one spotted an old lamp in the boat. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie appeared. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!"
The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances.
One man looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!"

Answer 3

There is not much of a difference between being drunk and being insane!

Answer 4

I am already drunk, and insane. I can't quit either, but I do know that cat poop is made of frosty chocolate milkshakes.

Answer 5

Is that all there is my friend? Then let's keep dancing, let's bring out the booze. Yeah, good song. You can Google it if you want to, I'm too lazy.

Answer 6

You go get drunk but don't you dare drive!!! My kids are out there and i don't want you to crash into them.

Answer 7

Nope, it's totally out of control. The world has gone mad I tell you--MAD. We're all stuck in it and can never get out.

Answer 8

It would be nice. But the bad people would be up to no good while I'm nursing my hangover.

Answer 9

Why do that if we're already insane?

Answer 10

Certainly but I'm on medication right now. so maybe later.