I recently attended a bachelorette party where my soon to be sister-in-law and friends totally left me out and were horrible to me. This is my husbands stepbrother and second marriage. Do I have to attend the wedding or give a gift??
2006-08-29 16:27:49 · 14 answers · asked by mamabear2 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think she has set the pace as far as a long, warm relationship. Because you are going to have to deal with this person for a very long time I would attend the wedding and give a gift with both your fiancees name and yours on the gift card. I would be a complete lady so everyone admires you but would spend no time with the bride. Just be inconspicuous and polite.
2006-08-29 16:34:00 · answer #1 · answered by jodie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A wedding is not an event you get into by "paying" with a gift. Any bride with any sense of etiquette would not dream of *expecting* a gift from someone for coming to her wedding. She invited you to come so you could share in her special day, not so she could rake in the gifts and money. However, that said - if you do not feel as though this day is particularly special to you, (eg: you don't feel the occasion warrants a gift) then by all means, you don't need to bring one. But I would say that if you don't like her well enough to buy her a gift, then you should probably not attend. ;) Even a small, inexpensive, thoughtful gift is appreciated. My aunt gave me a plain recipe card box at our wedding - filled with recipes from her personal collection, including some old family favorites. It was one of my favorite gifts, but probably cost less than 15$ altogether.
2016-03-27 00:51:53 · answer #2 · answered by Kathryn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No gift and no wedding! I see this happen so often, the sister-in-law treats you like garbage and you're still expected to give gifts and grovel. It's time you take a stand, if you truly think she's snubbed you snub her back. If your husband or others in the family ask why, tell them the truth. Don't give in to being treated like that. You're giving her far too much power and she's using it against you. If she get's upset that your treating her in response to the way she's treating you then maybe she'll come around. If not don't continue to allow her to treat you badly. Good luck, I've been going through this situation for 15 years, at Christmas I finally had had enough and 'dismissed' her from my life. She gets no attention from me and certainly no invitations from me.
2006-08-29 16:38:11 · answer #3 · answered by i have no idea 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would on my husband's arm & smiling, if you snub the brother in laws wedding that it might hurt him or you in-laws and they weren't tacky she was. I would give a modest gift and wouldn't worry about her. Dance with your husband and have a good time at the party/reception. I would though in the future not get together with her personally but at family functions, I would talk to my husband and make sure he knows how much his support means to you. The best advice I can give you is let your husband deal with his family when it comes to getting them in check and you do the same with yours, and remember that you and your husband are your own family and congratulate your brother-in-law and show the class your sister-in-law doesn't seem to have.
Good luck and hope it works out good for you!
2006-08-29 16:46:32 · answer #4 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you don't have to - but I would recommend that you do attend. Even if you don't really like her that much you will probably be together a lot at family functions in the future - personally I would try to keep peace in the family. Because a wedding is usually such a big deal I don't think it will be easy to get off the hook without creating lots of bad feelings.
2006-08-29 16:34:21 · answer #5 · answered by sydney 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes you do have to attend and give a gift because you have to support your brother. You don't have to like your in laws but you do have to be respectful. At my wedding my brother in law and his wife gave us a $28 gift, I know this because they left the price tag on...so I only assume that our gift had been re gifted by them to us. I have no problems with my in laws but they are just cheap. Oh by the way, my brother in law is a high powered attorney who makes millions every year...talk about cheap or what!!!
2006-09-06 09:07:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to grow up. I know that it hurts when people snub you, but you need to do the things that your mother told you to always do. Mom was right... Always smile and be polite.
Yes, go to the wedding and take a gift. You are worth it, she's not. Good luck
2006-08-29 16:40:36 · answer #7 · answered by marks3kids 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't want to feel left out again and feel uncomfortable. I would send a gift but won't attend. By sending a gift, it shows that you're a better person.
I never attend anything where I feel uneasy.
2006-08-29 16:33:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No...I wouldn't go to the wedding and I wouldn't get her a gift. Apparently she and her friends aren't respectful of you, so you shouldn't give them a gift. But I would talk to your hubby and see how he feels. Make sure to tell him how you feel. Good Luck!
2006-09-06 08:58:15 · answer #9 · answered by Kellybug 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No and dont and the reason why you got left out is because she were doing something she should'nt do your a big risk if you go and tell his brother. Dont go to her wedding. Spit in a box and give the gift to her.
2006-08-29 16:32:30 · answer #10 · answered by nina j 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋