When I was 4 months pregnant he hit me, broke my noses, and fractured my face. He has papers being mentally unstable, but the court did not order him to get help since he served his 75 days in jail. I am faced with medical bills from my sugery on my face, and I fear he will harm me or my children again. The court did not issue a restraining order, and he has threatened my children and I if I try to take him to court for their safety. I feel like running and hidding, but that won't help, I know this. What can I do?
2006-08-29 16:26:42 · 19 answers · asked by sassy sista 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Go to the district attorney and file charges. Tell them exactly what you have told us. Get a restraining order and file for divorce sighting the fears you have for your unborn and current children. Ask that child and spousal support automatically be deducted from his paycheck along with medical insurance. Go to a support group for battered women. Good luck!
2006-08-29 16:39:18 · answer #1 · answered by jodie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe for one second that a court would not issue a restraining order if the kids were in danger. I know several people that have been thru this and if kids are involved in any abusive relationship a mom can get a restraining order. So what if he's threating your children... you sitting by and letting him get away with things isnt helping them. What kind of mother would let threats get in the way of her trying to provide safety for her kids?
I don't understand how a woman can be with a man who hits her. My dad hit my mom one time, and she threatened to kill him if he ever did it again, and she was serious... and he never did it again.
Think about your children. Make all your decisions for your children. You are the only one that can help them.
2006-08-29 16:37:45 · answer #2 · answered by rccola1979 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear about your situation. That is awful that someone could do something like that. From my understanding a restraining order is against property. You need to find out where to apply for a personal protection order. When you go to fill the PPO out bring any arrests or police records you may have.
Good Luck, Keep safe and God Bless you.
The prosecuting office should have offered you victims rights that make the abuiser pay for any medical bills.
2006-08-29 16:37:45 · answer #3 · answered by galbee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact your local law enforcement first off and explain the abuse and that you fear for yourself as well as your children. You can get a protective order to keep him away and keep him from getting custody to see the kids at any times.
Secondly enroll your children your therapy so that they can voice what they have experienced to someone who is qualified with this, that away you can assure that your children get help with the mental part of what they have went through and reduce the number of problems they have later in life. I was a victim just like your children's were and got no help til later in life, I suffer from mental disorders as well and anxiety and panic disorders. So the early the counseling the more that you will be assured that your children grow up with a better life. It will greatly help them, if you think that your children don't know what went on, trust me they do they know when their mother is hurting and they have issues as well within themselves.
Third I would suggest that you as well go through some sort of counseling or therapy alot of times group therapy is the best thing for domestic violence. you can get help and feel comfortable with other women who have been through the same crap you faced. It will make you more comfortable and more at peace with yourself so you can but all your attention on your beautiful children. They are the future.
God Bless.
Amanda
2006-08-29 16:36:16 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ Lips of Morphine ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your situation is very serious. There should be a woman's shelter in the city where you live; They can help you with the legal process, shelter, etc. I don't understand why you can't get a protective order against him based on his history. If you cannot find a woman's shelter through social services in your community you can always contact The House of Ruth in Baltimore Maryland and they will help you. I feel so sorry for you.
If worst comes to worst and you fear your life and your childrens, get in your car and drive to a relatives or somewhere you feel safe. I will pray for you. God Bless you.
2006-08-29 16:37:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have friends or family close? If so ask for help. I know I'd help ya!! Try to get a PPO again. If you have paperwork and he's done jail time for it there is no reason why they won't grant it other than stupidity. Shelters are good for help but I understand with children it is hard and I know I didn't want to put my children thru that but you have to make sure you and the children are safe that is the most important.
2006-08-29 16:37:46 · answer #6 · answered by wiazardofoz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing to do in this situation is to get out of it. Seek a restraining order from another court or visit a lawyer. If you have a close friend or relative you can stay with during the remainder of your pregnancy, go there.
I am worried for you and your children. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
2006-08-29 16:30:50 · answer #7 · answered by Dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go talk to the police while your husband is at work or while he is not at home. If they do not help you talk with your doctor at your next doctors appointment. You have to do something. I know you are probably scared to death for your children, but he needs help and so do you. You can not live your life in fear and pain. You certainly don't want you kids to grow up in an atmosphere like this. If the doctor can not help to to a mental health clinic and talk with one of the therapists or psychiatrist they may can point you to an organization that will help your husband and your family. If your husband will not get help then these organizations will help you be able to leave him and turn him into the police. Nobody desserves abuse. You can find help. You do desserve better.
2006-08-29 16:35:59 · answer #8 · answered by rkb12584 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey my heart goes out to you. First things first find shelter! Or look up Domestic Abuse Hotline or tell us what state you're in and we can give you the number. You are a strong woman and I praise you for that. Not many women have the guts to do that. This man isn't gonna change, he may sober up and say I want you back I'll change. But he won't he never will. So find shelter, find a trusted friend and live with them. Grab hold of advice of others that are more specific than mine.
2006-08-29 16:34:06 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u can get ur own restraining order put on him especially since its on record that he was abusive. i dont know where ur from but there are also battered womens shelters where women/their children can go anonymously as a safe haven. please get out of this relationship now. dont wait. do this for ur children and urself. this can mean the difference between life or death. if u have family go to them and let them know. they can protect u or at least know who to look for if something does happen, God forbid. good luck and God bless. please, go now, and get help
2006-08-29 16:33:59 · answer #10 · answered by the_kid_doesnt_care 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋