So I have a lot of gay novels that I read and some of them have "suggestive" covers and titles, such as desert sons or rainbow boys. Well my dad helped me re-arrange my room and some of the books weren't put away. I know he saw them because when I came back in my room they were stacked up on my desk, and I know I didnt put them there. So what I'm asking is should I bring up the issue about the books and my sexuality or let him come to me?
2006-08-29 16:20:27 · 13 answers · asked by c_jayo6 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
He probably suspects you are gay and is trying to find out the best way to ask and more than lilely, scared of what you may say. If he is a traditionalist, he is going to have a big problem with it so start getting your answers ready. If you're ready to come out, then tell him the truth when he ask. Know up front he may disown you until he can come to terms with it and accept you and your choice. Time will help. If he's a free spirit himself, then tell him on your terms because you know it'll be cool no matter what. If you are not ready to come out, then lie to him and tell him the books were for a school assignment.
Just remember: If you are gay, sooner or later you'll want to be free of all of life's constraints and just live YOUR life the way you want. Its all a matter of when you are ready to openly address it to the world- including your parents!
2006-08-29 16:30:24 · answer #1 · answered by hellokittyt012263 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Short answer: It depends.
Long answer: It depends on a lot of factors.
Do you want to come out now?
Had those books never surfaced, would you still want to come out now?
How do you think your parents will react?
How will your dad react?
How will your mom react?
If they react poorly, then what? Are you going to be able to handle a poor reaction?
Do you have a job or a means of supporting yourself if they kick you out?
Are you clear about your own feelings about being gay.
Is this a good time in your parents life for something like this?
Have you let go of enough of the slander and stereotypes around gay people that you could help your parents do the same?
Would you want them to tell other family or community members?
Do you want to have a confrontation about it, or tell them in a form like a letter?
You might also want to read this 18 Things to Consider Before Coming Out by Joe Kort (he's a therapist and a blogger, nice guy, really cool):
http://www.joekort.com/articles60.htm
At this point, you need to do more thinking before you rush into a decision or a hasty knee jerk coming out experiance. A bunch of strangers on a webpage really can't tell you what to do here, it has to come from within you. Good luck!
2006-08-29 16:30:21 · answer #2 · answered by dani_kin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him approach you and if the question of your sexuality comes up then tell him what you want him to know . I would assume that you are still in high school and living at home full time . If that is the case then you still need your parents and their support , unless you are 100% sure that they will support you and the decision you make concerning your sexual orientation then don't tell them you are gay . You need to get through high school and on your own before you sever any ties . If you are sure of their support and you feel they will be behind you in your decisions then by all means tell them the truth and ask for their support . Best of luck .
2006-08-29 16:32:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah talk to your family about the issue and your sexuality. It would sound better that it came from you then from anyone else.
They may at first feel distant or even the worse disown you.
But like good wine it takes time, and that is all your family will need before they will open their arms to you and welcome you back to the family, and accept your decision and sexuality.
I'm not gay but I've got family members who are also both gay and lesbian and they are good people at heart, no problems.
Good luck.
2006-08-29 16:35:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think Dani_Kin has given you lots of good stuff to consider. No one here knows your situation better than you. If you have a good friend who already knows, talk to them. Also look for an LGBT center in your area. They're nice real live people who can help you figure out what you really want to do, what you believe is in your own best interest, and whether it feels right for you to talk to your parents now or later. Real people are much better than feeling alone and better than cyberspace.
2006-08-29 17:09:57 · answer #5 · answered by Alex62 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is let in you be responsible for you life he didn't take any action until you decide, so he is a really good father he could have gone crazy or he is just ignoring the issue but is your stuff and you the only one who needs to clear up things
2006-08-29 16:29:50 · answer #6 · answered by Susie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
id let him come to me. maybe he just stacked them and didnt look at the covers. u never know
but if u are comfortable with ur sexuality and ready to come out, u should have a talk with him
2006-08-29 16:26:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now would be as good as time as any time. If it is obvious that he saw them and really has a clue, maybe he is just waiting for you to come to him when you are comfortable with it. If he has a clue and was upset about it, or was to disown you because of your sexual orientation he would have said something to you as soon as he saw them!
2006-08-29 16:25:26 · answer #8 · answered by sweetmercy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let him come to you. Its possible that he didn't see a thing. If he didn't cause a big uproar, then maybe he's simply thinking about how to discuss it with you.
He's probably known before you could put a name to it, that you are gay.
2006-08-29 17:18:41 · answer #9 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you feel like you need to tell him. If so get it off your chest. Good Luck.
2006-08-29 16:52:30 · answer #10 · answered by Dorrie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋