Getting pregnant to save marraige after affair?

Question

My husband stopped his affair 7 mths ago after I found out. I have become pregnant now and i hope it will help our marriage. Does anyone know if this will help? Will he change? We already have young kids. I dont know much about the affair, I just want to think of the future.

thankyou everyone, i am just confused. The affair was for only 3 months. The other woman says he told her he loved her, but he choose to be with me so he loves me more I know.

Answer 1

After an affair, the only reason to stay together would be the children..

If you are still conceiving, then you likely still care..

If you still care, you are setting yourself up for another disappointment the next time he cheats..

He won't change.. Men are simple creatures..

:-)

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

he chose to stay with you because he knew you were weak and would take him back...he doesn't love you. he is using your nature against you. You know the answer to this question already. The question should be whether or not you have the courage to do the right thing, pregnant or not. The future is 'once a cheater always a cheater'. he deliberately broke your marriage vows, and you are condoning it. I'm not saying that I would kick out a guy who cheated, but there would be some serious questions and a whole lot of marital therapy and repentance on his part. There is a reason he cheated and you need to wake up and find out that reason. I would never let my husband sleep with me after knowing that he had just done someone else for such a long time. One night stands are one thing, but an affair is a continued choice time after time and he threw your vows on the ground and smashed the he"? out of them. Is that respect? love? commitment? I don't believe it and I don't think you do either.

Look, I have 3 kids and have been divorced just over a year now. Hard as he%^? absolutely. But not as hard as an unfaithful spouse who cheats and then makes like nothing ever happened.

Get strong girl!! Do the right thing by yourself and your babies. They will learn that it is ok unless you show them it isn't.

Bottom line: Men who love their wives DO NOT CHEAT!!! love is more than the warmies for someone. Love is swimming through shark infested waters to bring you the last lemonade on the planet. Love is forgetting about what you need or want and making heaven and earth move to get you what you need and want. Love=respect. Plain and simple. Does someone who cheats on their spouse respect them? I submit to you the answer is a resounding NO!!

Answer 4

Hi, I am sorry that you are going through this first of all. No woman or man should. But getting pregnant in "hopes" that it will save your marriage is not fair to you, your unborn child or your husband. Im sure the lack of children wasnt the reason he had an affair. Focus on the WHY and change that. Just because you have children doesnt mean that hes going to stop and not do it again. You do not need a man in your life to raise your children. Think of them and how they will feel when they are older. How would you want THEM to act if in the same predicament?

Answer 5

I have never known anyone who said that having a baby saved their marriage. I know a few who tried, but they ended up divorced. The baby just added more stress and strain on an already failing marriage.

What are the chances he will change? Why did he cheat to begin with? You need to ask him. You cannot try to work out the problems at home if you don't know what the problems are.

Good luck to you in forgiving him. I was not able to do that for a long time (about 2 years after the divorce). I hope you are able to keep the family together and raise the children.

Answer 6

My suggestion is that you both get some marriage counceling to patch the marriage and get some of the foundation repaired before the baby comes.

It isnt right that the affair only stopped after you found out. Or that you still know very little about it.

I wish you would have put more information about where his feelings were in this scenario.

I dont think it is fair to the children you already have, yourself,him or the unborn child that things seem to be swept under the rug. As easy as that seems or convient, it doesnt make a good marriage or a good environment for the children.

You both should be concentrating on sending the right message to those children about commitment, love and family. If those things are in question and not repairable, then I suggest you terminate the marriage. It is easier to take the right road than wrong and damage small minds, regardless of the struggles ahead, it is your obligation as a parent. Good luck.

Answer 7

RE:
Getting pregnant to save marraige after affair?
My husband stopped his affair 7 mths ago after I found out. I have become pregnant now and i hope it will help our marriage. Does anyone know if this will help? Will he change? We already have young kids. I dont know much about the affair, I just want to think of the future.

Answer 8

Sadly to say I don't know the future. Though in my heart I want to tell you yes I can't. A child isn't a pawn that own can look to the save anything. If your husband has changed and you have accepted the affair and accepted your husband back, then you two have the job of making your relationship work, not the child you are carrying inside. The only two that know if your relationship will be saved is you and your husband. You have to make it work and he has to make it work. Marriage isn't 50 50 its 100 100 you and him have to give your 100% each to get past the bad and reach out and embrace the good and your future together. I'll be praying for you honey, good luck.

Answer 9

Wow! Will that not help! If he cheated on you with young kids at home, what makes you think he won't cheat throughout the pregnancy?? It's something that he feels he's missing, and it's very, very doubtful that you have anything to do with that, he might just be extremely immature. A lot of men feel ousted when the wife starts paying more attention (duh!) to the kids. And unfortunately (personal experience hun) there is never a shortage of desperate, envious women out there ready to offer your man what HE says he can't get at home. And if I were you, I'd find out about the affair from the standpoint of trying to determine what the two of you can do to help avoid that type of situation. That's if you are going to try to stay together. Will he change, probably not, but you can change what you're willing to accept for you and for the sake of your children.

Answer 10

I think that the positive way to look at it is things HAVE to change. You two are bringing into the world what is sure to be another adorable little mini-person : ) I know it's easier said than done, but maybe this angle will work for you guys. He did it. It has stopped. You have accepted this. And are hopefully forgiving, or in the process of trying to forgive him. He, has something to prove to you too. Rebuilding the trust. Don't go psycho on him now. lol. But he's got to understand how you feel too & he's gonna have to put forth effort. Especially with you being pregnant you "need him" (for support, sharing the pregnancy, etc.) & for him to pick up some of the slack. However, don't forget to show your appreciation. Everyone likes to feel appreciated, women say it all the time ; )

Answer 11

pregnant save marraige affair