Should I leave my wife of 20 years?

Question

My wife and I married young and during the first 7 years of our marriage she had 9 affairs. I consider hugging or kissing another man an affair. She had only 4 actual "sex" affairs.

During her affairs I had one affair where I got the other woman pregnant.

My wife didn't leave me and I didn't leave her, everything has been good for us...New home, new car and new baby to add to our first child.

Then this year (12 years since her last affair) she tells me she has kissed another man she was working with. She said things got out of control and she is very sorry and it won't happen again.

I thought this was all over, I love her and she tells me she loves me, but I can't take anymore...I don't know if I can ever trust her again. Should I leave the one who I feel is my soul mate? Should I try and trust her again since I love her so much?

Answer 1

try marriage counseling first, preferrably with your pastor or priest. never just give up, even alcoholics can quit drinking, this my be part of an addictive lifestyle that both of you have... look into all options before ending things for good

Answer 2

She kissed another guy, told you she was sorry, and you are divorcing her??? My, we are holy tonight, aren't we? Since when did a kiss become an affair?
Be prepared to lose exactly one half of everthing you own, right down the middle..that lovely house will have to be sold and the money, if any, split. Those cars...equal split of value. Any underage kids? Be prepared to shell out about 750-1000 per month for each. At least she works, so there probably will not be alimony...unless you earn considerably more than she.
I suspect that if she can find guys to kiss at her age, she won't be single long, so don't worry too much about the alimony. Sounds to me like you must have a very good looking wife. Hope your next venture into marriage is as rewarding. Good luck

Answer 3

OK, this is what you should do. 1st you have to leave her,but make her move out, until she is ready to get help and change, let her know you WILL NOT be putting up with this anymore. i know it';s gonna be hard you have kids and you love each other, but she keeps doing this because you accept her like that. you are only reasonable for you own actions, not hers. 2nd both of you go to marriage counseling but she'll need to go for counseling on her own also, she has a problem. 3rd go to church if you don't already, and both of you need do some praying. you have kids this is not a good things for kids. think about what u r showing them.. very important, values. and you have 20 years invested in the marriage, you really want the next 20years to be happy and with NO AFFAIRS, or pls don't waist 20 more years. good luck. :)

Answer 4

this will possibly no longer help lots, yet you would be stunned on the kind of individuals in comparable positions. yet you apart from mght may be assuming some issues that are no longer genuine. working example, how advantageous are you that this grow to be immediately? He lied approximately why she grow to be contacting him, and it purely takes one deceive coach a guy or woman is cheating. this would have been interior the works for awhile. on the alimony, i'm surely stunned your criminal expert pronounced you ought to get any in any respect. Alimony isn't that person-friendly presently, and generally applies in situations the place the spouse is bodily no longer able to artwork. i'm purely saying this to maintain it genuine, because of the fact your husband's criminal expert might have the capacity to surely make a case which you do no longer want it. My suggestion right it is that countless your themes ought to do with the certainty which you're unemployed, and it is what has to alter asap. It heavily isn't hassle-free and you could ought to take better than one job, whether it is very important which you have something else to concentration on. I there are not dental jobs, you write fairly properly, and that i might think of you ought to get an rather stable receptionist or secretary job and use this as a steppingstone. additionally, your son at 18 is a criminal person, and mutually as I sympathize with what he's dealing with, he must be contributing, besides. which will help lots - getting on a valid economic foundation, saving money mutually as alongside with your mothers and fathers, and then having some sort of capacity over the destiny.

Answer 5

A leopard never changes its spots.

Once a cheater always a cheater and that goes for you too. If you're both as bad as each other than why bother leaving.

Also I would consider whether your children are actually yours. I'm sure your wife would have had more than 4 'sex' affairs.

Answer 6

How many chances you willing to give her? I think you need to have some self- respect. Doesn't sound like a soul mate to me, she has been unfaithful way too many times to be your soul mate. Starting over is not easy but allowing your woman to cheat on you has to be harder. Let her go.

Good Luck

Answer 7

For the sake of your family I would try marriage counseling and individual counseling for each of you. She may have a sex addiction problem, and it sounds to me like you are co-dependent. No one should be treated the way she is treating you! I had a dream once that my husband cheated on me I kicked him when I woke up and he appologized to me for cheating in my dream! IT is not okay what she is doing!!!

Answer 8

That is quite a story. I suggest you never trust her (nor she you) and just forgive each other next time, just like you have in the past. After all you have forgiven each other a total of 11 times, so just plan on doing it again, and again , and again......

Answer 9

You are both to blame here.

Sounds like you are togethor just for the sake of it. As soon as people start straying, respect is lost.

Move on - your kids will eventually know what you are both up to and that's not a good example is it? Would you want the same thing to happen to your kids one day?

Answer 10

You lived this long with her why leave now???
Where do you think you're going anyway???
If she's your soul mate then stay. You apparently think along the same lines as each other where are you going to find someone else that has your standards.