Adoption vs. IVF any suggestions?

Question

My husband and I have been unable to conceive for over 10 years. We finally saved enough for IVF, but as soon as we gave the deposit and were set to start in Oct., we were asked if we would be interested in adopting a baby from a 16 year old girl who was not ready to raise the baby on own. The father has consented also and they are the same nationality as us. Now we are posed with the question of not doing IVF, or at least postponing it, or to not do the adoption. Does anyone have experience with this or any advice???

I am 30 years old and my husband is 33.

Answer 1

you have such a big choice to make, you will have so much to gain if you adopt. meaning and hoping that the 16 year old really follows through with the adoption. i can only say that adoption is a huge step and you are giving a baby a chance at a good life with two parents that will be there for him/her.

you can always do the ivf down the road. i would feel blessed if someone offered me the chance to adopt, it is a true gift.
wishing you the very best.

Answer 2

I can relate to this my friend and her husband were faced with the same problem but they went with adoption they were almost done and at the last stages of adoption and she got preg a big surprise since every doc she seen said she could not get preg. even though they had a baby they still put all that money in the adoption and they worked out a plan where when there little girl is older they will still adopt you have to be a Strong person to adopt a child if u can handle it i would say adopt IVF could work but i stress could you never know also never stop trying to have a baby the normal way you never know what could happen but Gl with ur choice

Answer 3

Hard decision, I would say go with adoption now. You have a great opportunity to adopt right now so do it - you're trying for 10 yrs, propably don't wanna wait much longer, no? And besides, you can always go IVF later if you decide you want more kids. You should also remember - IVF doesn't guarantee you'll get pregnat. My sister went through this for many years and it was unsuccesful, but she spent so long trying IVF and now she's so tired from all that (not mentioning the financial strain) and she's in her 40's and feel like she should have considered other options long time ago. She just doesn't have the energy to do anything else.

Answer 4

sounds like a very tough situation. i just went thru my first cycle, got pregnant and then miscarried at almost 2.5 mos. we r getting ready to try again, but saving another $15-20k is difficult as our insurance sucks!!
with adoption, u are guarenteed a baby, basically-if all goes well. maybe after u get this baby, your own views and needs will change, like ur desire for a biological child. my desires are so strong for a biological child that we will exhause ivf until we just can't take it any more. besides, i am about to be 28 and figure that i should continue to try while my eggs are still young. if we adopt now, it could be yrs before we could afford to do another IVF at which point, i could be 35-ish or so and my chances could significantly decrease that ivf would work.
so wiith all that confusing stuff, i say-it depends on your age and other factors.
can u open ur home to this child from the 16 yr old girl? what kind of adoption would it be? open? closed? there are many things to consider. r u ready to deal with the whole package? do u want to place all ur bets on one or another? my husband put it quite well when we started our stimulation injections in April, he said "i feel like we are about to jump out of a airplane and somebody else packed our parachutes". so true-there are no guarentees that u will come home with a baby after IVF, as hard and cold as that fact sounds. how would u deal with that vs. a adopted baby that u would love the same as one u birthed?!
good luck, its a very difficult place. go with ur heart. success does happen with in-vitro-dreams do come true.

Answer 5

WOW!

That is a tough situation. I've not had to make that decision. But, last year we were forced to decide between adoption and more extensive fertility treatment. I was doing Lupron, Pergonyl injectibles and Progesterone.

We decided to give it one last shot and...against all odds our son was conceived. The whole cycle was botched. For some reason I got the Pergonyl too early in my cycle and didnt' ovulate ANY of the 18 BEAUTIFUL eggs at my appointment. My doc was visably upset. Which made me upset. He said if I didn't ovulate we'd have to do IVF. I had to come back two days later and find out for sure. At that point I had ovulated ONE egg! All that money down the tubes. Our doctor said we should consider IVF, but this may work...we'll have to see. So, I went back on the weekend and found I had ovulated even more. But was experience severe hyperstimulation. OMG it was horrible. He told me even if I got pg my chance of miscarriage will be THREE times higher.

Well, I conceived my son that month.

Against all odds. I am convinced that heaven sent me an angel. I don't believe I have a baby...but one of God's own here in my home.

I can't tell you what to do, but pray that you will seek God's advice. Perhaps, this 16 year old child's baby is your baby. Perhaps this is the plan for your life. Or, maybe God is asking you trust in him for this next IVF procedure.

Good bless, your in my prayers!

Answer 6

It's a tough decision and I don't have much in the way of advice but I will share my experience with you (the short version). After a year of TTC witout results I was tested and diagnosed with endometriosis. 6 months later I was pregnant but miscarried. After another 6 months we decided to try IVF. We did this several times over a period of five years but were unsuccessful and were told that we would never have a baby. We finally decided to adopt through the state foster care system. It took a while but we were finally accepted and the we met our soon-to-be daughter who was 9 years old at the time. She moved in with us in June 03 and in Dec 03 we learned that we were expecting. In June 04 we because parents twice that month - our son was born on June 3rd and our daughter's adoption was finalized 3 weeks later. We now have a beautiful 12 year old daughter and a precious 2 year old son.

Answer 7

i think of you are going to be able to desire to do the two, IVF does not assure you will get pregnant, no rely how many situations you do it. yet here's a toddler that desires a loving residing house and fogeys and is rather lots assured. you are going to be able to desire to continuously undertake this toddler and verify out the IVF in 2 or 3 years. Heck in case you’re able you are going to be able to desire to undertake this toddler and nonetheless do the IVF. it would be no distinctive then a woman having a toddler and getting pregnant back stunning a manner.