my wife ad an affair. now i find myself desiring to watch her with another man. Am i strange or is this normal. i never felt this way prior to her cheating!
2006-08-29 14:39:08 · 24 answers · asked by S Q 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would not say that is abnormal but I would say that you would be in a minority of men that would say that. Maybe it's that you want to see what pleases her and maybe you are just turned on by a group situation. Many in the US are sexually inhibited and restrict what they do or what they approve of because of their perceptions of what someone else might think. In other words you don't know what another person would think but you make decisions on what you THINK they would think. You are not strange just curious.
2006-08-29 14:45:23 · answer #1 · answered by alagk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Abnormal? No. Most men fantasize and fantasizing about the person you married, love, and presumably are sexually attracted to seems perfectly normal.
This is a new desire you have - to watch your wife with another man and it only came up (no pun intended) after she had an affair with another man.
It's possible that since you love your wife you want to make sure she is okay at all times and that includes if she's having sex with someone else. It's not the perfect situation but at least you would be present - almost as if you and she were having the sex. It puts you back in the picture which you no doubt feel left out of. I wouldn't worry about it and I'd chalk it up to a fantasy and leave it at that. I would not act it out because you may find youself with other feelings once you see her having sex with someone else that you don't want to have - anger, jealousy, hate, etc. and you may not be able to control them.
Is the affair over? Are you two faithful to each other now? Fantasize, even while making love to her, but leave it in the realm of fantasy and don't bring someone else into your relationship since your wife already has a weakness for trying sex outside of it.
2006-08-29 21:52:10 · answer #2 · answered by Free Advice 4U 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having fantasies is one thing , making them a reality is another. In NO way should you consent to watching her have sex with someone else because sooner or later, probably sooner, she'll be out of your life and bed forever, if these are consequences that you can live with then so be it. I have had fantasies about the same thing and about myself, my wife and another man and or woman, but I keep them as a fantasy. Would I like to share my wife with another man and maybe be a bit by, no way, it's just a fantasy. Keep your priorities in order or life as you know it now can change drastically. On the other hand, is she going to continue sleeping around because if so then she's already not yours anymore. And if that's the case, see if she and a hot girlfriend can get it on with you. Good Luck !!!
2006-08-29 21:51:13 · answer #3 · answered by robert w 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask yourself if you would be this confused if you two where swinging with another couple. In that scene, it would be NORMAL to be with the other man, the other woman... Swingers don't think of it as cheating if they watch each other be with someone else.
Just something to think about considering what other people are saying. Best of luck figuring yourself out.
2006-08-29 22:11:20 · answer #4 · answered by Valeria 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You most likely want to watch her because---- seeing is believing! And, there is always the other possibility that your hidden desires to have a threesome are becoming conscious after the trauma of the her affair hit you!
2006-08-29 21:55:10 · answer #5 · answered by Brains & Beauty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you've lost some respect for her and see her in the light that her affair has placed her in. Or, perhaps you're not bothered by the affair and figure three-some are something you want to introduce into your marriage. Is either normal?? Who knows. I don't know what's normal anymore :-)
2006-08-29 21:45:40 · answer #6 · answered by K 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she's cool with it roll with it and if it works for you both then thats a great way to get the jealously monkey off your back and if It don't theres always devorce court.
the only way it would be strange or abnormal would be if you didn't get into it,to each their own.
2006-08-30 22:36:27 · answer #7 · answered by BLINK W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is normal? Different things turn people on. Alot of people fantasize about their mate with someone else. Usually they dont follow through with it but use it to enhance their sex
2006-08-30 07:32:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it floats her boat,then i guess saying "strange" is subject to opinion.after all in your case,its what she'd think that makes the difference.
2006-08-29 21:46:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know where you are coming from and I think it is more normal than people think.
2006-08-29 22:32:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋