my lil girl?

Question

My chid is 10 she wanted to go stay with her dad for a year. her choice i said ok now that she is there she wants to come home i live in georgia he lives in san dagio it is a long way there she cryes when i talk to her to come home she has only been there 3 weeks can you give some outside advice?

Answer 1

i almost passed right over this question because it looks so hard~BUT~then i realized if i were you, i would hope that every mom who read it would respond with their best answer...

~*lets see... was your little girl trying to hurt you when she told you she wanted to go live with her dad?
~*was she just really missing her daddy and being daddys little girl?
~*little girls are MUCH more complicated than little boys when it comes to our parenting skills~
they can be all sugar and spice one minute and then **WHAM** there is no sweetness left.

i had 3 boys and not one of them was ever as hard to raise as my 1 little girl; none of them ever broke my heart as bad, or ripped it out and threw it on the ground to stomp all over as she has done lots of times. and yours is only 10?

you aint seen nothing yet!!!

but your little girl misses you and wants to come home... well, i like what the one answerer said to let her stick it out for a month or two but in the mean time send her a letter.

just remember that whatever the reason was that you agreed to let her stay with daddy for a year, she is too young for that kind of permanence. now is a good time for her to learn about consequences, but you don't want the lesson to be one that's too harsh

Answer 2

hard situation 4 sure. Did the kid have a relationship with dad before the move? If not she may have made up in her head how great her dad is how much fun it would be to be with him "fantasy type thing". She gets there and the reality is not what she had in mind. She misses you a lot I'm sure. I have a 8 year old who's dad lives out of state i would not agree to her being that long with him. Even if she cried, pleaded, and had a fit to go i would never said yes to a full year. I think she should come home and make arrangements to visit again the the summer when school is out. OR if there is no choice let her stay and adjust in the long run i feel it's not in her best interest to be in one home a year then another home a year across the whole country it's unstable.

Answer 3

If she wants to come home you should let her and tell both of them you will try again next year when she is more mature. A year is a really long time when you are only 3 weeks in. She just REALLY missed her dad and dad should know this and accept that she is young and unable to adjust as easily as everyone had hoped. It is not a rejection and he will feel it is. She will be supported. You may tell her she has to wait until semester if her grades are not able to withstand the move. She's the kid. YOU tell HER what to do - not the other way around. She doesn't understand consequences yet. This may be a big lesson.

Answer 4

I went through a similar experience when my children were young.
Just keep in touch with her for a week or so and see how she feels then . I know this tears your heart out however she is old enough to learn that you can't keep doing these kinds of things . Also she is probably unhappy that you two are no longer together and is fighting for attention , the only way that she feels like she has some control . Hang in there Mom . I'll say a prayer for your sanity !

Answer 5

Sounds like she is just home sick. It happens. Next time you talk to her let her know that you love her very much but this was her choice, and she needs to stick out for a while longer. After about two months if she is still adamant that she wants to come home, then by all means let her! If she does come home though, she needs to know that she won't be allowed to go try live with dad til she is older. Good luck with your baby girl (they always stay your baby!!)

Answer 6

She chose to go there make her stay. Unless there is a serious reason why she needs to come back, she should stay. Some kids just think they can get their way all the time. She probably got to her Fathers house and missed you, or he probably is more of a disciplinarian and she isnt used to that. It is up to you, not her if she should come back before the year is up.

Answer 7

my son is now doing the same thing he is 9 though,ask her why she wants to some home,have a chat with her father and explian to her that is she comes home that you cant keep going back and forth and you want to make sure that her decision is final,let her come home if she wants to and make it the last time,kids can be decisive and pushy and sometimes they will get there way with the other parent my son only want to go live with his dad because of the school down there,talk to her once again and try to make her see she needs to make a decision

Answer 8

Well ya shoulda asked us BEFORE she went to San Diego---WE coulda told you THAT was gonna happen!

For crying out loud, 10 year olds come home early from slumber parties!!
Tell your daughter to give it 2 more weeks. She's probably just homesick.
And then go ENJOY YOUR 2 WEEKS

Answer 9

I would tell her to live it out for a few months and that if she hates it you will come get her. Chances are she is experiencing major home-sick-ness. She will be okay. Send her a letter. Getting mail makes kids feel important.

Answer 10

Well, once she comes back to you, she'll be crying and missing her daddy again.

I say that you and your ex had better work things out. I hate divorced parents, because life is SO hard for the kid. I know, I have lots of friends w/ divorced parents.