Pro and Cons ,please
2006-08-29 13:42:42 · 28 answers · asked by Einstein 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
My daughter is 40 now and even though we certainly are friends and have fun together, we are not best friends. There is still the distinction and acknowledgement that I am her mother. It is a parent/child relationship and always will be.
I hear a lot of pros in here saying that if you are not their friend, they won't confide in you.
They will never confide in you in terms of telling you their deepest secrets like they would a friend.
They will confide in you however, if you give them the opportunity to be honest with you and you do not judge them. You are willing to listen to them without judgement.
Yes you can be friends in a certain sense but you must always be a parent who makes them feel safe and loved and wanted. Being a parent comes first.
True friendship is for them to share with their own friends and not with a parent.
2006-08-29 14:49:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pros: they can share anything with you, feel safe around you, may respect you and honor your advice
Cons: won't take you seriously, once you step on their toes - they cut you off, expect you to listen to stuff you don't want to know,
Children need an adult in their lives who are going to lay down the rules. It is not a parents' job to be a best friend other than a parent. A child can easily find a hundred other best friends if she/he wanted to. You can still be there for your child as a friend but keep it on a friend level. Laying down rules may make a child resent you but as he or she grows up, they will thank you for it. No rules is chaotic. Plus studies have shown that children want a parent to be a parent as it gives them guidance and support.
2006-08-29 20:49:59 · answer #2 · answered by Emi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pros= Great, close relationship where you can share thoughts.
Cons= Difficult to discipline your best friend if the need arises.
With almost everything having a pro and con side to it, would have to say the good outweighs the bad here.....will go with YES.
2006-08-29 20:52:26 · answer #3 · answered by Sanitizer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and know, your child should never be afraid to confide in you but there is a distance that should be kept to keep the mystic of being a parent. Can you actually discipline a child effectively if you confide too much about your personal self to them. There's a thin barrier between respect and understanding your position as a parent. It also depends on what you define as best friend.
2006-08-29 20:49:07 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not while they're a kid. It's great to have a friendship with your kid and definitely wonderful to do all kind of fun things together. But you need to define your relationship as parent and child. Let your kid know that you are the one who makes the rules. Sometimes it is hard to be taken seriously when your kid sees you as an equal. Also, you need to show that your love is unconditional and that you are there for him/her forever. This will not be true of all the friends your kid makes in his/her life and should not be confused.
2006-08-29 20:53:20 · answer #5 · answered by Shishi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think as you are raising a child you cannot be their best friend, you have to use tuff love on them. As the child gets older the need for tuff love goes by the wayside and then you can be friends with your children. I say this with a little knowledge, I have 5 grown children and we are friends.
2006-08-29 20:53:08 · answer #6 · answered by morris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no..i can only state why you should NOT be!
we as parents are here to raise children with morals, manners and family values...we don't want to send more idiots out into the world! kinda like an employer being best friends with the boss...it's just not gonna work...too much conflict. my oldest is grown and on her own. as a child we kept our roles in perspective....I'M THE BOSS...YOU'RE THE APPLESAUCE. now we are close...but if i was her "best friend", i would be partying and clubbing with her. i just can't do that....i don't want her to do that...but she will and i will always be here for her. children need guidelines and order in their lives....they can make their own friends......i have my own friends.
EXACTLY WHAT FREYJA SAID!!
2006-09-01 13:02:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think too many parents are trying to be their kids best friends these days and thats why some kids are out of control. Kids need SOME boundaries.
2006-08-29 20:48:44 · answer #8 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you can be your child's' friend second to being a parent because if you give them too much of friendship they will not respect you as a parent.
2006-08-29 20:48:08 · answer #9 · answered by Boricua Born 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you should be the parent. If your their bf, then they walk all over you. They will find it easier to get away with things because in order to be their Friend, you have to be on their side. It is a bad idea and bad parenting
2006-08-29 20:48:29 · answer #10 · answered by gin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋