Critics about baby number 5, what to say?

Question

We have four kids ages 7 and under and we are due to have number 5 in the spring. I am not irresponsible, my husband will have his surgery in 2007 to ensure we only have the 5 we want. The problem is people are rude all the time when they find out we are expecting, what should I say to them~considering it is our life and none of their business?

Answer 1

"We are very excited."

"This baby is very wanted."

"We feel so very lucky/blessed to have such a large and loving family."

"This is the perfect family for us."

"We can't wait for this baby to join us and complete the circle of our family."

When people say, "you've sure got your hands full" a good response is always, "better full than empty!"

And then there's the old favorite, "Could you pass the bean dip please?" when they just won't let it go and keep pestering you. Change the subject!

Another good response is....
"Why did you want to know?" or "Why does it matter to you?"

Many people just can't imagine having a big family. They have some idea in their head of what is "the perfect family" and when your definition of "perfect" doesn't equate with theirs, they have a hard time understanding.

Answer 2

I think it may be polite and appropriate to say something like, "Thank you for sharing your opinion, but we are very happy about this baby becoming a part of our family." Then excuse yourself from their presence.

My husband and I have 4 children, ages 27, 24, 21, and 9. The 9 year old was an absolute surprise to us all. She was conceived when I had been successfully on The Pill for 11 years. It was rare, but we did encounter a person now and then who thought we were crazy to have another baby when our older kids were 18, 15, and 12. We always assured them that while we weren't planning this that obviously God had other plans for our family.

Answer 3

It is up to you how you live your life and how many kids you want, they should not be rude to you about it. As long as you can take care and provide your children and love them, that's all you need.

I'd say to tell them that you love each and every one of your children and if they can't except that you want another beautiful thing in your life then to back off and leave you alone. If they're being rude to you, you have a right to be rude to them.

I'll admit, I am critical of people with lots of children, but only the ones who always seem frustrated and seem like they hate having children. If you love your children and they love you, that's all you need to have as many children as you want.

(grandparents had 6 kids in 7 years, it's not an uncommon thing to have a large family, though adoption would be a better option).

Answer 4

First, congratulation on your family - I think it's great, I'm about to have second, but we want three or four (and of course, my family and friends think we are nuts), but that is everybody's personal choice. Those people who are rude to you - they don't see kids for what they are - your blessings, your joy, your future,your life.....they see them as work, trouble, expenses (that is if they even have some). They probably have different goals in life then raise great human beings, so just tell them this is you, this is your greatest love and that's what you wanna do ..... and there's no better or worse decision in this matter, it's just to have this many kids was yours and your happy with it and they need to concentrate on something else.

Answer 5

You are right - it is YOUR life. Some people want 7 kids and others want none. Everyone is different and had different desires out of life. I would just tell the rude people with a big smile on face "we always dreamed of having a large family and couldn't be happier."

Answer 6

I'd keep it short and sweet, as in "MYOB." (Y'know, Mind Your Own Business.)

You're right: people are rude. They think that they have every right to judge your private life. Aren't they ridiculous?

If you think that YOU have it bad, then try having NO KIDS (I mean deliberately, not because you're infertile and actually want babies). Most people REALLY have hissy-fits over THAT one!

I think that maybe most people get their noses shoved out of joint over ANYTHING that doesn't affirm their own POV. So if they'd only have two kids, then any other number is just not OK, and they'll tell you so. Same with religion. Or clothing. Or whom to vote for... Most people are not only nosy, but they're contentious about it, to boot!

Answer 7

as you can tell by my id i am the mother of 5 wonderful children from 10 to 2. As for what others say dont let them get you down just count your blessings and know that you and your husband are being true to yourselves and what you want. And from those of use who like you love big families CONGRATS!! Hope you have a wonderful pregnancy of your 5th child

Answer 8

I am not a fan of big families myself (kids require ALOT of love and nurturing - definetly more attention and $$$ than they used too) I grew up in a family with five kids but I myself don't have the means for more than 2.

Putting my personal opinions aside to help you with your question it should be simply put as "yesss God has blessed us again!"

Congratulations!! You are more of a woman than I am lol If you can do it Go FOR IT GIRL!

Answer 9

My mom had five kids and had to raise them by herself. We are all happy and healthy. I LOVED having so many siblings growing up. It was hard on my Mom but she says it was worth it because we are her best friends now (we're all in our 20's). Don't listen to what everyone else says. If you and your husband have enough love for five children then you should have as many as you want. They will thank you. :D

Answer 10

Tell them that you planned it and that every baby is a blessing. Tell them that there is no law in the US (last time I checked it WAS still a free country) that states that you cannot have as many kids as you want.