what is the benefit or advantage of monogamy to the society?

Question

there was a guy from Saudi Arabia

he says to me why to you people(anyone from the country has monogamy) do not adopt polygamy?
you people cheat on each other anyway.
we don't cheat.
]
so i have been thinking,
is it true that all of us, or most of us need more than one sex partner?
and,
what is the benefit or advantage of monogamy to the society?

Answer 1

There is no benefit to monogamy so long as it is a socially or politically enforced norm; it should be a matter of personal preference, and people’s preferences on lifestyles should be respected (even if you don’t agree with their choices). By making it a socially/politically enforced lifestyle, society imposes a form of oppression upon people. Monogamy was originally invented (as a form of social policy) by men thousands of years ago who wanted to be sure they could keep track of their offspring (so that they could pass privilege and wealth to their biological children – aka, patrilineal descent). They needed to control female sexuality in order to ensure that men knew who their children were. (This is why males who like lots of sex are known as Don Juans, etc., while females are stigmatized with words like ****, etc.) In modern society it serves essentially the same purpose, only now it has become so traditional that we don’t really think about it. We just assume monogamy is “natural” or unquestionably the only morally acceptable choice. In reality monogamy is NOT the only natural or morally acceptable choice, and some people are simply not well-suited to it. These people are oppressed in a society that pushes monogamy. And by the way, the alternative is not just to have harems of wives. The modern alternatives include polyamory, which is multiple lovers of either or both sexes.

I want to add some responses to other answerers…

Robert D: Monogamy is not the best lifestyle for raising children. Two parents are not enough in many cases, which is why we have day cares and babysitters. Prior to the nuclear family model, extended families were more common, so grandparents, and other family members were often in the same household to help with childcare. Polyamory draws on the same strength as the extended family – more adult caregivers to love and help raise the child can provide overall greater stability. Monogamy may work best for some people, but it is not automatically the best option for all people.

Louise D: You seem to be assuming that everyone is just like you. Perhaps you cannot stand the thought of your wife with other men, but I have looked deep into my heart and I can honestly say that I don’t mind. We are deeply in love and we are planning to be together for the rest of our lives. I am not jealous – in fact I feel good knowing that she can enjoy life to the fullest. Once again, your preference for monogamy is not a universal law. It is simply your personal preference.

deedee_sfla: Virtually everything we value comes with some risk. The spread of STDs is technically not due to non-monogamy itself, but rather, to unsafe practices (polyfidelity is a form of non-monogamy that would have no greater risk than monogamy). Overall, the social attempts to force monogamy on everyone is partially responsible for spreading disease. Since not everyone is naturally monogamous, the social stigmas against non-monogamy just serves to push non-monogamous lifestyles out to the fringes and into the closets. People tend to feel more sense of urgency and desperation when they feel trapped, and this leads to a higher frequency of irrational and risky behavior. If society encouraged people to find their own true path, and was respectful of people’s choices, then a more relaxed, healthy atmosphere could become the norm (less stress, less need for secrecy, less sense that one has to break the rules in order to live according to ones nature).

Answer 2

It takes a pretty strong commitment to raise a child to his or her highest development and monogamy is supposed to help with that commitment.
Male hairless apes seem to want to have sex with every attractive female hairless ape they see. That wouldn't leave much time for parenting.
And the most common sentiment expressed in all human languages is that the customs of my people are superior to the customs of your people.
We want to believe this because familiarity with our own culture leads us to contempt, while lack of familiarity with someone else's culture makes us think that it might really be better some other way.
The proper answer for people who say that their culture is a lot better than ours is "whatever".
Please note also that there is no sexual equality even implied in polygamy. It is always one husband/ multiple wives and not the other way around.
Does that help?

Answer 3

Basically, it stated with ADAM.... If God had though that man shoul have more than one woman he would have made an harem for Adam.... If God made only one woman... man can surely live with caring for one only...plus caring for the children in a proper way... If you had 4 wives and 40 children come and tell me that they all have the affection they deserve...

Also, be certain... polygamy is not a insurance againts cheating...on the contrary... Plus, how can a first wife b e truly happy knowing her husband is looking for another, an so on...

The problem is that polygamist do not actually care about their wifes... they use them as objects, and slaves...

Nothing close to God's intent with Adam & Eve...

And no, man does not NEED sex to live... If so, a lot of catholic priest and popes would have died of it... They are not all gays or vicious contrary to what some may think and say...

Look deeper in your heart... would you like your wife to have 3-4 patners? In polygamy, women would possibly be stoned just kissing another man...

How would you like your sister or daughter to be used as such..?

Answer 4

Well the idea in our society is to strengthen familial bonds so that each parent is bonded to each child equally (in theory) allowing each child an equitable chance of survival to carry on the species and our own societal goals.

Answer 5

As there are about the same number of men as women in society it means, essentially, that there need be no one without a mate.

Answer 6

biologically, men are not monogomous and women are

obviously there are exceptions but that is how we are made.

Truth be told, its not so bad to have multiple partners...

Answer 7

True monogramy spreads fewer diseases and keeps families together

Answer 8

the above plus no in-breeding which results in deformation and mental problems...

Answer 9

there is no such thing as monogamy

Answer 10

It is affordable