I think my husband is cheating. This women he works with, whom I meet personally, calls his cell phone constantly. I was desperate to find out what was going on and I checked his voice mail. I have been burned by him before so this time I didn't want to take any chances. She calls him "baby", and she calls day and night. She also left a pretty scathing message describing what she wanted him to do to her in bed.He also calls her a lot. When I asked if he was seeing her he said she was just a friend and she was probably gay.
2006-08-29 12:14:17 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Although your main issue is with your husband -- because he made the vows to you -- I think the skank needs to be confronted . . . on your way out the door. What happened to "sisterhood"? How could a woman want to be "the other woman"?
Believe what you have heard and seen. You don't "think" your husband is cheating; you *know* it. Why doesn't she say those things in front of you, if he's not doing her? Also, what kind of man allows his wife to be disrespected like that? Don't be all romantic and expect his apology and tears to take care of anything. If you stay, you are giving him a free pass to cheat again. Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Let her have him. She'll most likely reject him when you turn him loose. Game's over then. She's an insecure beotch who only wanted to take another woman down, to make herself feel more worthy of oxygen. She doesn't want anything real. She wants the fantasy, not all his baggage.
Gather the financial documents that you need first, or they might disappear. Then, have him served with divorce papers in the shower or at work. Make sure the process server says (loudly), "Divorce papers for you, Sir."
You are most likely in a "No Fault" state, so don't think any court is going to care who had an affair. Don't expect to "take him to the cleaners." Just save your dignity.
2006-08-29 12:29:32 · answer #1 · answered by georgia b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you shouldn't leave, you should throw him out and stay. Only confront the other woman if you need to get a few things off your chest. Nobody leaves messages such as the ones you are describing that isn't doing something they shouldn't be. You also said that this isn't the first time he's done this. Start by telling him what you've found (the voice mails), and then demand some answers. If he gets defensive, he's hiding something, if he blows it off, he's hiding something, but if you sincerely looks at you and says "honey, we joke around, maybe we carry on too far, and I'm sorry, I'll stop", then see how it goes. Anything else, is not to be trusted. Go with your intuition, it will seldom lead you in the wrong direction.
2006-08-29 12:26:03 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
And you believe this girl is gay? Come on, you are not stupid and don't ignore the signs any longer. Some people get cheated on and did not have any hints, but here you have many hint of infidelity. First off, if she is a friend then there should be a time limit as to when to call your husband. A friend does not call your husband "baby". And a friend doesn't leave a message like that on your husband's voice-mail.
2006-08-29 12:21:52 · answer #3 · answered by jessica b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's cheating. And he's trying to cover it up by saying she's gay. You said he's burned you before. He's doing it again. Burn him back. Get a P. I. and a good attorney. In fact, try to record her voice messages. Also, write a log for all the times she calls. Get the P. I. to take some photos. You could probably get a divorce from him right away. Take that cheating bastard to court and take him for everything he's worth. As far as the other woman is concerned, take the high road. Let her have him. All she's getting is a CHEATER, and sooner or later, she'll be the one getting cheated on. Then she'll get a taste of her own well deserved Karma.
2006-08-29 12:23:06 · answer #4 · answered by truth 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I say confront your husband, chances are if you confront the other woman, its not going to do anything, she already knows that you guys are married. The relationship is really unhealthy not only because hes cheating and you could get a disease, but because its emotionally unhealthy as well, you should really consider separating at least for a little while. Its not fair to you that he can't keep it at home. I would really think this through, your going to need a lot of support to get through this ordeal, what an as*hole.
2006-08-29 12:22:44 · answer #5 · answered by Monie D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems clear that she wanted you to hear her messages describing what she wants. She sounds like a stalker except that he calls her back. This relationship is improper in the light of the fact that he is married to you, not her, even if he has not actually committed adultery, although it does sound as though he has.
I think you should do what you feel is right as only you can really know - but you may want to consider 1. packing all his things and dumping them on the doorstep before locking him out, and telling him to go and not come back; 2. instructing a lawyer to file for divorce and 3. taking all his dirty washing to her house for HER to do!
Sorry, but your husband doesn't sound as if he's worth keeping. There are plenty more fish in the sea, as they say, so I'd throw this "tiddler" back if I were you!
2006-08-29 12:58:13 · answer #6 · answered by Specsy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see a point of confronting the other woman... Your time will be better spent chatting with a divorce lawyer. Your husband will get the point when you take 1/2 of everything.
2006-08-29 12:19:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the relationship he seems to have with this woman is a little too close for comfort and that is always a red flag. i know, i was in a similar situation with my ex-husband. well i found out for sure that he was having an affair and i left him. i also confronted her because i felt i needed to and it gave me some sense of satisfaction. i hope things work out better for you though but whatever the outcome know that you deserve the best and you should never settle for less. be strong!
2006-08-29 12:22:42 · answer #8 · answered by nades 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there's anyone here to confront, it's your husband. Since this is a repeating behavior for him, I say, do not put up with him anymore. Leave him. Don't even bother with the other woman. It's not going to solve anything unless your husband puts a stop to it himself.
2006-08-29 12:28:09 · answer #9 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confronting the other woman is not going to make you feel any better. She would probably just tell you things you would definitely NOT want to hear. Just move out and move on. I would say work it out if you love him but since you got burned before its time to move on with your life.
2006-08-29 12:24:42 · answer #10 · answered by smile4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋