i would like to mend the fence with someone i will always love deeply, how should i proceed?

Question

i am bipolar and have been recovering from multiple substance abuse, i left my love of 5 years with no warning, all for someone else that supplied me with junk. from the first time i tried it i was hooked. now i'm trying to rebuild my life after a fall from grace where i called my old love (who is in another relationship with a mutual friend) and totally lied and embellished everything. he was told by a friend about my deciet. i know we will never speak again as i have ruined my credibility with him. i went for extensive help after the lies and **** that i served him, i miss him and i always will, i am so ashamed and mortified by my actions that if i think too much about it i feel physically ill. all i want to say in some way is that i am so, so sorry and i wish him the best. i will always be in love with him but i can't let go of how horrid i became to win him back. (as if he would have in my past condition)! how do i let him know that i deeply regret everything? i feel so ashamed.

Answer 1

Send him a letter.
Let whatever happens after that unfold.

The fact that you want to make things right will be enough to make writing the letter worthwhile even if you get no response.

Good luck to you.

Answer 2

Try writing him a letter. Considering that he may not want to ever talk to you again, a letter would be a way of showing that you just need him to know that you are sorry and offering him an apology without being pushy or asking for a relationship. In your letter you wil need to take responsibility for your actions and apologize for the lies. Regardless of his response to you offering the letter, or whether or not he ever wants to have anything to do with you, be proud of yourself for owning your mistakes and feeling sorry for hurting someone. A kind heart and a strong conscience are two wonderful qualities to have in a good friend. Maybe he'll think so too.

Answer 3

Ok 4 those NOT paying attention its NEVER impossible to love too deeply!!! Look Jesus died 4 the world, Gandhi went on hunger strikes to show mans ability to love instead of hate his fellow man. & yes of course it hurts, but 1) comes w/ the territory, 2) if its reel love you really wont care/mind the pain. Isn't that why mothers have children? Childbirth is the most painful thing a woman will ever experience (naturally) but she does it for the love and bond of her child(ren) so there is never too deep a love. GOOD question I wish I could give you more then 1 star.

Answer 4

It might be hard depending on how your treated this person when you were with him. If you were blaming them, always angry, or taking your mood swings out on them they might not want to go through it all again. If I were you, I would write a letter and admit all your wrongs and tell them that you are sorry. People do change but personalities don't. Make sure you stay on meds and away from the drugs. If its meant to be it will all work out in the long run. Good Luck!

Answer 5

"Dear Friend: "No one can make that person respond back
anytime soon;" "He,s probally going to need to eventually
come to terms with this horrible thing that happened to
him."
"One thing i need to point out; "I don;t quite think he understands the human brain "and" addiction as he should. "For example; Most addicts will go to just about any length to obtain their drug of choice; "So the thing is
as soon as he comes to terms "Why you did this?"

"He may very well understand the actual situation "and'
understand that you were,nt with that guy for anything esle
"But" only for the drug!" Simple as that!!!
"Because that's what its going to take.

"You've allready taken the first step toward rcovery and if
he can,t understand that your different "and' actually how much you actually need him in your life than
"There may not be a happy ending here; "If he does love
you
"He will be back!" But i would,nt hold my breath and
and continue to greive "Because; that's not going to solve anything "Only make it much worse."
"I,m sorry that may not be what you want to hear "But
that,s life! " But you can continue to have a sober life
without him "Because" You hav,t to do it for nobody but
for yourself." "I,ve been there several times "If your
doing it hoping to mend a five year old relationship "Than perhaps" You must ask yourself that
important question .
"Nothing should ever come between you and your recovery "So don,t let me discourage you friend."
"But; not to sound pessimistic "Because there,s always
hope ." "But you do have to consider how long its been; "Five years is too long to not bury the dead
past; "It,s up to you to come to him and apologize
"Eventhough; The outcome might not turn out the way
you may want; "Because i almost guarantee {"Being a guy"} He,s leaving it to you to come resolve this most
likely "or" he,s hurting just as much as you because he
probally assumes after five years "You,ve moved on."

Answer 6

You are human and we make mistakes. I'm sure he's hurt but it would probably hurt him less to know that you are sorry and why you did what you did. And there's a reason. You were sick and tried to medicate yourself. If he's happy with someone else then you have to let him go. Only because you threw his love away before. just my opinion

Answer 7

Go to NA. Get a sponsor to advise you. Fence mending can take time, and often the person wronged will not believe you until you have some clean time.

Answer 8

Yeah..., write the letter..., spill your guts..., tell him whats on your heart and ask his forgiveness!! Let the chips fall where they may!! Good Luck!!