married and feelings for others?

Question

I am 28 yrs old married woman, having two kids, living with in-laws, having loving and caring husband who works and I used to be at home for look after kids. I am very friendly and often mix up very quickly with others. Then I developed feelings for other men(it can be any). As they feel that I had feelings for them, they want to start relationship or whatever I don't know because I did not go any further, then I starting avoiding them.
I am fed up with this habbit. but throughout my life I had no affair, never talk dirty or anything with any men, never go outside or call anybody. but still having this problem.
Anybody has any idea what should i do to control myself?
what problem i am suffering from?
how can i overcome this?

how do u know seeitmiway 32 that i am asian, from which word or sentence?

Answer 1

Not that it matters, but from your accent, I think you are Asian, right?
Obviously, you are not in a satisfying relationship with your husband, or you would be entirely focused on him.
That said, it is not abnormal for anyone who has had no other experiences except with the one they marry, to wonder what it would be like with someone else. We call it "The grass looks greener on the other side of the fence", syndrome.

I think the best thing you can do to rid yourself of this is to, first, find a good counselor with whom you can talk frankly , and share your concerns. The rest will come with time.
Second, put some spice into your sex life with your husband. Go spend a week-end in a motel somewhere; walk, talk, and make wild and crazy love. Do the things with him that you fantasy doing with someone else but have been too shy to try, and too afraid someone might hear.
DO NOT get into an affair. You have kids you have to think of.

Answer 2

Well have you been married long is the question. But it seems that you like the excitment of a new relationship. That's normal. I fell for a guy, who seemed to be everything I wanted that my husband now lacks, but when I started to think about it, he's probably got as many flaw that my husband does, and I will just think the same thing time after time. If you love your husband, and he treats you good, remember that you have it good, and you will prolly not find anyone else like him. I am a stay at home mom and mother of 2, and I have it so good. he does anything I ask, buys me anything I want, and even is going to get me a nanny, so I can have a break from my busy life. But I still find myself wanting to leave him sometimes, but think about how easy I have it, and how I get to spend all the time with my babies, and if I leave I will have to work and support myself, and i'm not sure another guy will work to support someone elses kid.
I say there's no harm in just flirting to satisfy some feelings. But if you have it good that should be enough to drive your motivation of stopping, but if your unhapy then maybe you 2 need some counseling. It worked for us.

Answer 3

I think it's normal to be attracted to other men. Those feelings may be caring and because you don't let it lead you to having an affair, it's ok. Make sure the other person has a clear understanding you love your husband, if and when they claim they have feelings for you. Try not to get into conversations with them about relationships because that can open a huge can of worms. Be sincere with every one and don't give them any reason why they should make an advance. Good luck!!

Answer 4

You can try to control this yourself or you can seek counseling for it. If you know what behavior you exhibit when you go off and flirt or whatever, you have the ability to stop it before anything starts. You just have to put your foot down and start acting like a happily married woman and not a woman looking for anything extracurricular.
You might want to get counseling because your problem might stem from something else in your life that needs to be dealt with.

Answer 5

They want to start something with you because you let them know what you want. Tell your husband to get away from the in-laws and give you great sex. If you are satisfied, you show it on the way you speak.It doesn't mean you have to say everything that you do in bed or dirty talks to everybody. Just behaving yourself as a married lady will stop any intention.

Answer 6

Try counseling, deep down you feel a need for adventure that marriage, motherhood and homemaker doesn't provide. Get out of that mode before you find a man you're flirting with that either won't take no for an answer or won't go away. Best of luck.

Answer 7

You'll always feel attracted to other men, so no quick cure for that. It what you do about it that matters. If you evaluate the situation and realise you have a great thin going with your husband and it is not worth losing all that over lust, then you'll be okay.

Answer 8

You probably just have a naturally flirty behavior. But as long as you dont let it go any further, and obviously you respect your marriage, you'll be fine! If the men you are around keep bothering you, ignore them completely... IF they cant respect the love you have for your husband...then they are worthless scum and dont deserve to be your friend.

Answer 9

YOu stil want men to make you feel like a woman and feel desirable to feed your ego. You need to learn to feel good about yourself on your own and not use innocent men to make youfeel better. Also develop good freindships with women and help that to fillyou up too.

Answer 10

You're just a flirt. Deal with the consequences or stay home