We argue over nothing and it takes so much energy from me and I want to bust him in the head sometimes. I love him but I can't stand it anymore. I've told him several times that it was over and then I took it back. I don't want to be alone and start over again and besides I don't want to loose the cushion. It is hard to get over a relationship after being in one for a while.
2006-08-29 09:40:32 · 16 answers · asked by cherrysourheart 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you have had those heart to heart talks about your arguments before and have exhausted your options as far as trying to repair the relationship, then you are probably better off ending it. It will save you the heartache and pain of being with someone who is so disagreeable with you...As far as your fear of starting over again...What's the big deal? You should take a breather from the whole relationship thing and sort yourself out and live a drama-free life....If all you want is a cushion, then obviously you aren't ready for a full blown relationship....
2006-08-29 09:45:54 · answer #1 · answered by cryingrainbow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes in the short term it is hard to give it up after a while but in this situation you HAVE to consider the big picture, NOT the short term. This doesn't work right NOW, how do you think it will be in 5 or 10 years? Won't it be worse giving up on it then? The only thing worse than being in a bad relationship for as long as you already have been is being in it even longer. You can do it and trust me, taking the first steps is very hard but in no time at all you will find yourself feeling so much better because you aren't dealing with the constant stress and anxiety of living in an environment like that.
2006-08-29 16:46:29 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I perfectly understand you. Sometimes me and my boyfriend argue about silly things, too. But what i have noticed is that most of the time we talk about the same thing, and simply can't communicate it over to the other. Just try to listen to what your boyfriend is saying, whithout being prejudiced. Try to understand him, support him in what he does or wants to do, don't take him for granted. A good thing to do is to spend some time apart - this will show whether you really care about each other. Love means a lot, but it's not all that's needed to stay in a relationship. What is important is to feel happy, safe and good with the man you are with. If around him you are not yourself, it's time to leave him and move along. But if you really love him and he makes you happy, it's silly to quit and start all over again with somebody else. Remeber that love needs to be renewed daily, or its liable to die away. Next time you start to quarrel, why don't you quit it and do some more interesting stuff... ;)
2006-08-29 17:01:30 · answer #3 · answered by butterfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see it like this the person your with is suppose to bring the best out in you not the worst. IF the only thing the that you two are good at is pushing each other to the verge of getting physical then obviously you shouldn't be together.
Call it quits and get it over with like taking off a bandage if you do it fast enough you don't feel the hair pulling.
Don't confuse habit with love you might just keep running back out of habit and not because you love him or because you scared. learn to separate the two
2006-08-29 16:52:35 · answer #4 · answered by a_bug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible to love someone and not be able to be with them.
Hon, it is better to be alone than to be in a situation with that guy.
I know how hard it is to be alone. I am single too now. And I get guys who I know would take me in and we would have a good life together. but, I want the whole package, the love, trust, compapnionsihp, supprt, and non confrontational, and the ability to talk things out with out starting a war.
Can you imagine being with him for the next 40 years.....and he will be meaner as time goes on. It will just get worse.
It is possible to be with a man who will give you energy and not suck the life out of you. Please.....no guy is worth putting up with who is argumentive...it will drain the spirit, love and life from you.
I know how hard it is to get over a relationship. Stand firm.
You deserve a better guy. And we live just once and you don't want to spend it feeling like he makes you feel.
Please honor youself and never take him back. Next time you meet a guy....watch out for the fatal flaws. (yes make a list of what you don't put up with in a guy) And then stick to it.
We all have to compermise some but those are silly things.
And arguer has to be on your list of what you don't want in a guy. Frequent arguing is one of the red flags that you need to watch out for.
Hang in there.....you oare worth it
2006-08-29 17:23:22 · answer #5 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the argument is over NOTHING as mentioned by u .. then call it off.
Watching him go out of ur life shudnt make u bitter abt love, but rather it wud show u that if u wanted so badly to be with the wrong man, imagine how beautiful it will be when the RITE one comes along !!
2006-08-29 16:57:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right, fear of being on ones own or having to try to find, and then nurture, yet another relationship is enough to keep you in a distructive one. The "What if....." questions start to arise and that'll do your head right in! Though of course "What if" questions are a waste of time and energy. Our brains cant cope with them, as they have an infinite number of answers.......BRAIN OVERLOAD!!!! I know it's not what you'll enjoy, but in the long run (and not that long), you'll be glad you made a break and spent some time on your own to enjoy life more simply and more peacefully. I myself am in your shoes but for different reasons.
2006-08-29 16:49:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what? Sometimes it's just over. I understand that you are afraid to be alone, but that isn't a good enough reason to stay in a relationship that does not bring out the best in you.
2006-08-29 16:46:45 · answer #8 · answered by yumyum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are going through but if you love him it should not matter because all relationships have problems and fight its normal!! No matter what relationship you go into in it bound to have its up and downs sooner or later!! If you always take him back then you must love and care for him!! Just talk to him and see what you two can to do try and not fight as much as you do now!!
2006-08-29 16:45:52 · answer #9 · answered by onesexyg18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must like the arguing, or you wouldn't want to stay. Your relationship doesn't seem to stand a chance, if that's all you do. I would call it quits.
2006-08-29 16:57:08 · answer #10 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋