Should you stay or should you go?

Question

So many people are on here asking if they should leave, not enough sex, not enough attention, abusive husband, bitchy wife...should you? None of us have walked in your shoes, we don't live with you and we don't know what your situation is. We can say don't be unhappy anymore but the truth is in your heart you already know the answer to the question before you ask it right? Your looking for approval. Understand something, when you do it there will be people who know you and your reasons and support you...you'll even end up closer to some of your family and friends. But not everyone will be so understanding and some people are going to look at you like your a creep for leaving her, or say how could a mother split up her family like that. Your going to have to deal with it. So should you stay or go? Do you still think someone else can answer that question for you?

Answer 1

I used to wonder the same thing, after looking at the questions long enough and at your own life you realize that its hard to see clearly when you are emotionally involved, haven't you ever been in a situation that seemed so confusing to you at the time but if you read it here the answer would seem clear? Its much easier from the outside looking in. Plus many people are told by their spouse and/or friends that they are being unreasonable so asking the opinions of others is a valid way of evaluating your own level of responsibility in certain situations. Many do want some approval, support and sympathy and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Often other people have a point of view that you may never have considered yourself and reading them can make you go AH HA why didn't I think of that? Or people have been through similar situations themselves and that helps. Besides if people didn't ask there wouldn't be much point in being a participant in Yanswers now would there?

Answer 2

People don't come on here looking for others to make their life decisions for them. However, people do feel like they need some outside opinions to make a decision whether it be something that they secretly knew all along or because someone pointed out the obvisous that their emotions blinded them from seeing. If it helps someone to vent out or to seek advice, why do you really care? I am sure that most people do have the option of going to family and friends who will offer them unconditional support no matter what decision that they make but perhaps some people find comfort in asking anomously because once again it either provides a different sense of comfort, actual help, or just serves as a place to confirm something that they already knew but doubted to an extent. No matter what the reasoning behind someone asking such a personal question, if it helps get to the decisions that will be best suited for them or help them on some level emotionally or whatever...be there to offer an honest opinion whether it will be liked or not and let them be...

Answer 3

I'd say it depends on the motivations of the person doing the asking. Sure, some (maybe most) just want validation for making the decision they already know they want to make -- it's usually clear in the way the question is written what the person wants to hear.

I take a different tack when answering questions, though. I try to get the person to take into consideration something she didn't seem to be thinking about. If I can get someone to think about something in a new way, I feel like I have made a positive contribution. I wish more people took time to carefully craft well-thought-out answers for people who are obviously in pain.

Also, I don't think you should criticize people for trying to get some feedback, which, in my perception, is what you are doing, given the way you phrased your question. How does people asking for advice harm you? If you find yourself feeling disdain for the askers, I would advise you to stop looking at this site.

Answer 4

I think that hearing from other people who have faced this difficult decision my help when you are faced with it. Yes, you would already know what your decision should be, but it helps to have others agree with you.

The experiences of other people will help in facing the reality of a divorce. Sometimes you forget some of the little details to take care of, but others will remind you about them. Maybe you never thought about the spouse freezing the joint accounts and not leaving you any money for food. If you read about it hear, you can be better prepared for things to come.

The more answers and opinions someone gets when they post a question, the better their decision-making ability. They have more information on which to base the decision. Plus, it just helps to get things off your chest once in a while.

Answer 5

Yes, what you say is right on and I agree with you, however, there are some people who are so engrossed with their problems that they really are genuinely confused. Sometimes it's hard to see the solution when you are the one in the middle of a problem so people ask for a second opinion or even a third person's point of view. for some, this is their way of letting their frustrations out. I see nothing wrong with that.

Answer 6

People need to talk things out before making big choice and maybe they feel more comfortable asking strangers then family and friends. I know that there are things in my life that I would rather not talk to family about until I figure some of it out on my own, which is why I post questions here.

Answer 7

you are a very perceptive person, i guess no one can answer truly for another without them being on the recieving end of the answer in other words you can only answer for yourself and have no proper right to answer for another person unless they are incapacitated through disability, but even that raises questions of disregarding independance of the individual. There is no wrong or right way to answer this question .

Answer 8

It never hurts to get advice from unbiased sources. I think it's OK to give advice on here, but I definitely agree that when it comes down to it, everyone must make their own decisions and go with their gut - absolutely.

Answer 9

Hey, I trust the opinions here like these people were my family. My odd, twisted, nasty, meanspirited, funny family. But family just the same. ;)

Answer 10

way to go ! This is what I have been saying all the time. Listen to the voice inside, it will NEVER steer you wrong. So stop argueing with it!