last Tuesday at 18 wks my baby was diagnosed with semilobar holoprosencephaly. She had only half a brain, heart problems and other deformities. Chance of survival was 0%. I had to have a medical induction, as her she had water on the brain and it was causing her head to swell. Emma Catherine was born alive and we had the chance to hold her and kiss her for an hour. Then she went to God. My heart aches so badly and I want to be pregnant again so bad that I can't stand it. Has anyone had a similiar situation? I feel so alone. Is it normal to feel this way? What should I do?
2006-08-29 08:44:54 · 52 answers · asked by Julia 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Bless your heart...wish I could come thru here and give you a big hug...just mourn her and be thankful for the short time you had w/ her...evidently baby Emma accomplished her mission and God knows how it has impacted you and you family. Take time to mourn her and talk to your dr about the chance of this occurring again and see how long you need to let your body heal before you conceive again. I will keep you "mom of 3 girls" in my prayers! God Bless!!
2006-08-29 08:51:35 · answer #1 · answered by sweetiepi 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Oh, goodness, I am so sorry for you!!!!
I didn't have exactly the same situation, but six years ago we got pregnant (we had been trying), and when I went for my 12 week ultrasound, it turns out that the baby had stopped growing at 5 weeks and was dead. I had a D & C.
It was devastating since it was my first pregnancy and we wanted it so much, and we had been so excited.
We just believed that for whatever reason, it had not been the right time for the baby to be born, so we asked God to take care of the baby until it was time.
A year later, we got pregnant again and had our daughter, who we named Grace because she is ours by the grace of God.
Even though there is a lot of pain, you actually got to hold your baby and she got to know how much you love her. That is amazing. Her spirit will always be with you. Once your body and heart have some time to heal, start trying again, and when the time is right, it will happen for you. Just have faith. You are not alone.
The pain you feel is really raw right now, and it will fade over time, although it will probably never go completely away. Know that you are in the thoughts and prayers of a lot of people.
I would suggest two things... first, ask your doctor if there is a support group for parents who lose babies. That may help you since it will let you talk to other people who have gone through a similar experience and you can all help eachother. Second, talk to your clergy person. You could have a memorial service if you are up to it, and that person can be a great support for you.
I wish you the best of luck, and please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Be gentle with yourself and your husband, and hold on to eachother in your grief. Good luck, and God Bless.
2006-08-29 08:59:13 · answer #2 · answered by Leah 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I too lost my Baby Boy at 5 months due to multicystic dysplastic kidneys which in short means that he was forming cysts on his kidneys and his liver was not developing and chances are he would die at birth. So me and my husband made the appropriate arrangements and decided by doctor's advice not to continue with the pregnancy. I grieved for a long while because I had pride in taking good care of myself and I never considered myself a drinker, nor had I ever done drugs or smoke in my life. I think it's normal for you to feel the way you feel, perhaps some counseling might help you and family support as well. Try to have comfort in knowing that he is up there with lord serving as one of Gods tiny angels in heaven and that one day you two will be reunited. Once you feel back to normal, then I suggest that you try again if you wantt but not until the grieving process is over because you don't wont that while you're pregnant. God Bless you and may you find strength.
2006-08-29 09:02:58 · answer #3 · answered by Yahoo Anwers 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so very sorry and crying right now just reading your story. I think your feelings are normal for what you have just endured. I see you have three girls that I'm sure need you. Maybe you can try to do special things with them to help you get through this. If they are older, maybe you can sit down and talk about the baby as a healing process. Maybe make a special memento so you feel you have completely honored your baby (a scrapbook or a letter put in a frame). Prayer works and I'll pray for you. Once again, I am so very sorry and God Bless!
2006-08-29 08:50:53 · answer #4 · answered by Precious 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that must be so difficult. I'm really sorry for your loss. Emma Catherine is a beautiful name, annd I bet she was such a beautiful baby. You could try counseling or talking with someone in your family. It'll probably take awhile to get over. As I'm only 16, I haven't had a situation like this, but it's got to be the hardest thing. Good luck.
God Bless Emma.
2006-08-29 08:49:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you'll be able to stop the hurting for a while. Just remind yourself that she's in a better place now, and wouldn't have lived a full and happy life if she had survived in her condition. I think it is *definitely* normal to feel this way. If you didn't, then I would be concerned.
Try to have another child. I'm guessing from your nickname that you have other children, so show them all the love and care that you normally would, plus extra for Emma Catherine.
I feel horrible for what you've had to go through. And though I have never had such a horrible experience and hope to never have one, I wish you the best of luck.
2006-08-29 08:49:31 · answer #6 · answered by Nikki 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm deeply sorry for your loss, but for sure you have a little angel on heaven now. Nobody in here will give you the emotional support you need, you should see a counselor or a therapist. Also talk a lot to your partner, dont shut in, it will only make things worse. Be strong for your other kids. Sure you can get pg again, just plan it and ask your dr if it could happen to you again, get all the tests needed, and then , if everything is ok go for it, if that's what you want.
Good Luck hun
2006-08-29 08:53:16 · answer #7 · answered by Baby Ruth habla español 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I lost a baby earlier this year. I was not blessed enough to know my child or say goodbye. I was devastated. I have recently found I am pregnant again and I am so nervous I will lose this child too. My heart aches for you. I found solace in holding my daughter and being with my family. I honestly don't think the hurt will ever go away. It may mellow with time but I haven't gotten there yet.
2006-08-29 09:06:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can't stop the hurting, you can only learn to live with it. It will lessen with time and you will heal.
I am so sorry for you and your family. Maybe getting pregnant right away wouldn't be such a bad idea but don't count on it to heal the wounds. Remember, you and your family just went through a vary hard ordeal and you may need a little time to heal.
Cry as hard as you can until your insides hurt, pray as hard as you can that your baby is in a better place, and then try to start to heal. Then you can try to have another child.
2006-08-29 08:55:10 · answer #9 · answered by nana4dakids 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is so sad..i am so sorry =( it breaks my heart.. If you want a new baby think hat you should wait until you are emotionally ready to. If you want one now then keep trying.. I'm so sorry and may god bless you with another baby.. You shouldn't be sad and know she is in heaven and happy.. Remember everything happens for some type of reason even as heart breaking as this. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I will pray for you. I hope it goes well and you have another..stay strong!
2006-08-29 09:23:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, it is natural that you feel alone, depressed, and angry at the whole world right now. i could feel your pains and my heart goes out to you and your family. this is a hard time and times will ease all pains. just be positive and look toward your future. don't let this get you down. god will guide you. i think that you should not try to rush into getting pregnant so soon. you'll need to allow yourself some time to cooperate thru this tough time. if you can't deal with this situation alone seek professional help and i believe that supports from you love ones always the best way to deal with any horrible ordeal. as for your pains, just let it out. cry your eyes out than you'll feel better afterward. believe that your girl is in heaven with god and he will take good care of her and someday you'll reunited once again. just be stay positive and be happy for her because she would want you to be happy. don't give up hopes. god will bless you with more healthy and robust children. good luck !!
2006-08-29 09:01:42 · answer #11 · answered by samdrian 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋