well my husband that i am with now, has not cheasted on me, but the ones in the past have. i am scared all the time, how can i trust agin. he does not really give me a reason to not trust him other that stares at other girls. but i am very very jealous person. i cant help it. help me, how can i trust agin. how can i just trust him fully. i do love him.
2006-08-29 08:43:14 · 17 answers · asked by april 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You shouldn't have married the guy. He deserves a wife that trusts him. He can't be responsible for your other relationships. Exactly how can you love somebody, while saying you believe that he's untrustworthy. You've got to decide what you want- To hold on to old hurts, and lay responsibility for other men's failures, on you husband, or To build toward a future with the man you married. How long do you expect him to put up with being considered "Guilty, cuz other guys are guilty." Lose the attitude, or you'll lose the marriage.
2006-08-29 09:55:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were hurt and you do not want to be hurt again. Let your husband know about your past experience so that he can give you the reassurance that is needed. From them, you have to trust him. He is your husband. Were these other people married to you with life-long committments? If not, there is the difference. Make sure you get a book on how to create hedges or affair-proofing your marriage. Emotional Infidelty is a good one. It actually spends more time on how to avoid affairs. Also, marriagebuilders.com has a lot of good articles on how to avoid affairs. Good luck.
2006-08-29 17:36:47 · answer #2 · answered by Confused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a leap of faith and forget your fear. There is NO OTHER WAY. It takes a LEAP OF FAITH.
As an example, the second Raiders of the Lost Ark movie, Indian Jones is required to step off a cliff onto an Invisible Bridge. It is a 1000' drop, and he can only survive the step by TRULY BELIEVING the bridge is actually there.
That is what you must do. You must step out onto that invisible bridge of faith in your husband and KNOW that it will be there when you do.
I'd say "Good Luck," but luck has nothing to do with it. It is all about Faith.
2006-08-29 15:48:32 · answer #3 · answered by InternetPosterChild 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival.
Jealousy is an instinctive emotion that arises most commonly in women who do not feel sufficiently worthy to retain affection and respect purely on their own merits. It is often a lack of self-esteem that causes women to attempt to constrain the behavior of their friends and lovers, when in fact those constraints and the emotions that they represent are far more likely to damage the relationships they are intended to protect.
You really have to just trust your husband more !! , explain to him of your previous experiences, he will understand, but you really just gotta let go and trust
2006-08-29 15:56:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to get over your jealousy; I don't know how you might do so - try looking for self-help books on the subject, search online for tips and suggestions, talk to a trusted friend or go to counseling. I don't know if you can "force" yourself to trust a person without changing your underlying mindset.
2006-08-29 16:14:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
not all people are the same. you need to get over that suspicion otherwise it will ruin your current relationship. treat him as he should be treated not how the others would be treated. If he's a good man then you shouldn't have doubts nor create doubts in your mind. this is going to destroy you and the relationship. control the jealousy. cute and innocent jealousy is fine but psychotic jealousy would drive anyone insane. relax, love him, trust him and make sure you don't freak him out.
2006-08-29 15:48:57 · answer #6 · answered by mimi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sure gives you the attention and control, to make him the problem, doesn't it? The problem he has is lack of self-respect, if he's putting up with that. Then, because of that, you can't respect him. Sounds like a vicious cycle. Deal with your control issue first, to get the healing started. You'll have to find the root of that: probably rooted somewhere in childhood abandonment.
If you took the marriage vows, you knowingly lied to him. Trust is a decision.
2006-08-29 15:52:09 · answer #7 · answered by georgia b 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
think in the present time.
he loves you now...he is totally different from them. He is unique.
He wont hurt you. He is a new start for you. Please don't do this to him. Let go of your past, don't let those from the past rule your relationship now. They are all gone, But your Man is here for you now.
Show him you love him. Just because you were hurt, doesn't mean you should hurt your husband. He needs you. Please move on and live happily ever after.
2006-08-29 16:04:09 · answer #8 · answered by ♣ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you your self have to work on the trust thing about him looking at other women gosh let him look all he wants you cant expect him to walk around with his eyes shut you look at other guys right stop being so jealous he comes home to you and wants to be with you so try to work on that the only thing that I can say is he's your man and on other women can take him from you put your faith in the Lord he can help God bless
2006-08-29 15:53:05 · answer #9 · answered by Libra 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get over it, doing this might make him leave all together. If you love him...:"trust him" until he proves you wrong. He not like all the losers you dated in the past, so why judge him that way. Get over you jealousy and tell you man you love him to death. !!!!
2006-08-29 15:56:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋