Totally wraped around his finger.............. what to do????

Question

ok i got this guy friend thats a little possesive and territorial when it comes to me. basicly what im sayin is that when a guy starts talking to me he freaks out / starts tripin. but hes just a friend but he acts as if im his gurl even when my cell rings he thinks its another dude. and its anoying. and i go over to his place when ever he asks me too and that like every night. and now i met this guy that i really like but he totally does not approve of him. i mean im so wraped around his finger that if he said "jump" i'd probably say "how high?" what should i do about this other guy that i like and how do i get it so im not totally controlled by my guy friend? PLEASE HELP!!

Answer 1

Well...

It sounds to me you actually like this behaviour.

I think you already know what to do...you have two choices. Either date your annoying I'm such a baby friend, or tell him to get lost and date the guy you like.

Answer 2

This is not a friend. It's a guy. He fits the profile of every abuser ever to come down the line. First he attacks friends, then people you don't really even know, because you are a possession, and if he isolates you emotionally, he will eventually own you. You are already feeling guilty about wanting things he doesn't want you to have. You are not a gerbil he bought at the pet store, you are a person. Your wants, needs, likes and dislikes are just as important as his. Find someone who will treat you as an equal, not as a piece of property. Try to imagine in your mind how he would react if you tried to dictate his friend circle, or who he could talk to or where he is allowed to go. This needs to end, or we'll see you on the news pressing charges against this bozo because he got mad over you dating someone else. If you decide to end this, and his reaction scares you, it is vital that you tell someone (and I'm not talking about Yahoo). Try a school counseler, a parent, some other authority figure.

Good Luck

Answer 3

Others control you only to the extent that you give them power to do so. Honestly answer this question: why does my male friend's opinion mean so much to me that I let it override my own feelings? Maybe the way he acts makes you feel special, or protected, or some other positive feeling. However, if he is "just" a friend, you will constantly be prevented from having a boyfriend if you continue to allow him to control you. So then you have to decide if the good feelings you get from listening to your friend are worth giving up the chance of having a boyfriend. If so, good, no problem. If not, though, you're going to have to be willing to sacrifice some of that special feeling your friend gives you, by putting up some boundaries between the two of you, in order to have a boyfriend. This is a difficult choice to make, and I wish you luck.

Answer 4

Well, you know that you are being wraped around his finger, so start saying 'NO' when he starts acting like your boyfriend. Tell him to back off. That is, if you don't like your friend.

About that other guy, well, you gotta get your own feelindgs sorted out, no one can advice you on that. But I would say that I won't go out with that friend of yours, cause he would most probably be the possesive/stalker type. I don't know, Thats how he seems like to me...

Answer 5

That probably means he's interested in a romantic relationship. If you're close friends, there's a slight possibility that he's jealous just because if you start dating, you probably won't spend much time with him for quite a while, but the much more likely explanation is that he's interested and doesn't want you to go for anyone else. He seems a little too possessive, though.

Answer 6

I think that a possessive person is a definite sign of insecurity. If you don't want this type of responses from him I suggest you get out of the "Friendship". Explain to him that your relationship isn't working for you and kindly bow out of it. Don't do anything that suggest that you want to continue the friendship i.e. calling, going over and things like that. Until you get this straight just talk to the other guy on the phone in the evenings in the privacy of your own bedroom home.

Answer 7

You need to find a new guy friend. Because of his possessive nature that relationhip is not healthy. CUT HIM OFF. B/C those type of relationships go from possession to abuse and you nor I want that for you. Tell him how he makes you feel and if he continues the behavior tell your parents or an adult you trust so they can intervene. Stop going to his house everyday!!!! What does he have against you? Is he blackmailing you? Is that what makes you do what he says? If your scared of him you need to end it ASAP. then develop a healthy friendship withthe new guy that is nothing like your current friend and allow it to grow into a love relationship.

Answer 8

Stop hanging out with your "guy friend" if you aren't interested in him in a romantic way. You don't need the control.

Because of the way he is acting, he is either totally frustrated in general (which is not a good thing) or, he likes you.

If you do like him.. tell him that you like him, and a guy from Yahoo! Answers told you that you better lay that on the line before you stopped hanging out with him, and "hittin" it with the guy he doesn't like.

Answer 9

Just tell him straight out. Your my friend and I love you and value your opinion but this is my life and I going to have to make my own choices. It sounds like he has a thing for you, so if that is the case tell him gently that you just want to keep it as friends and it would make you very happy if he could be happy for you.
Why would you let him control you? Its great to have a good friend but you have to be able to do what you want to do.

Answer 10

Get with this new guy. It's your life, not your friend's. And, once you're with the guy that you like, tell him about your annoying friend so he's not turned away when your friend tries to break you two up. Good Luck!