Hands down I have to give up sitting for this little girl. Some of you may remember my questions about an overneedy child. Well over needy is an understatment! She has only proceeded to cry more and more when she is here and while I'd love to be able to help out her mom more, I just can't deal with a child who constantly wants me to hold her when I have a son of my own I need to tend to as well. This child has lately been on a kick where if I am holding my son she will scream until I come get her, even if I'm trying to feed my son. I can handle sitting for her for an hour or two, but she is just too high maintenence for me to handle a whole day for 5 days a week. And her poor mom is pregnant again and still caters to this child's every want. Her older of the two is in for a rude awakening when her mom doesn't pick her up every time she whines when that new baby arrives! Anyways, how do I tell her mom this without ruining a really good friendship?
2006-08-29 08:30:50 · 19 answers · asked by d4cav_dragoons_wife84 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I don't intend on quitting effective immediatly. I intend on giving her time to find a new sitter, it just needs to be done. The child is really cute when in a good mood but those are few and far between at times.
2006-08-29 08:39:15 · update #1
Babysitting for friends is hard. I have done that in the past too and it can be a touchy situation. I would just explain to the mother that you have loved being able to help her out but you feel that it has become too hard to handle a child that is as needy as hers while trying to give your son the care he needs too. Obviously, give her time to find another caregiver before you just close the doors on her though! You are right that if this child is as high maintenance as you say, she will have a very difficult time when her next child arrives!
2006-08-29 08:35:12 · answer #1 · answered by Tracy O 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have a good friendship, that's fine, but can you really put the friendship before the needs of your own child as well as the help which that other child requires?
Take your friend aside and tell her you can't look after her any longer, then offer to help the mom find someone else.
Then - not before - as you are talking about the demands that children make upon other people, work into the conversation the problems that you are having, that the child needs disciplining in an appropriate fashion, and that the mom might find it helpful to talk to a counsellor before the new baby is born, so that something useful is put in place before she has to deal with two kids.
Tell her that you will be there to help her with those things, but not with sitting the child any longer.
2006-08-29 15:51:04 · answer #2 · answered by kerangoumar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guess is she already knows and if she were the least bit worried about your friendship she wouldn't have asked you to begin with,... because she knows how demanding her daughter is
& thats unfair for you to have to deal with that especially since you have a little one of your own.
Your friend allowed her daughter to be this way and now it's going to be very difficult for her to find someone to take care of this child. I would just tellyour friend that you're unable to watch her little girl any more because her daughter demands much more time than you are able to give her since you already have a little one of your own at home & it's not fair to your child.
Wish her luck and I wouldn't let het talk any more on the subject or you'll get sucked into helping out for a while longer until she's able to find someone else.
She didn't have a problem with asking you so don't have a problem with telling her. Just think how your child feels?
Kids feel anxiety too. Kids probably dread that 1 child that comes over & whines, screams & cries the whole time as much as any adult does.
Good Luck!
2006-08-29 15:46:37 · answer #3 · answered by paintressa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am hoping that when Mom picks her up every day you have not told her that everything has been great. Does she know that her daughter has been crying a lot of the time?? If you have been honest with her then continue to do so, but nicely. Explain that you did not realize how much it was upsetting your son to see the little girl getting so upset and you are concerned about how her chil will do when the new baby comes. She is your friend, as long as you keep it at the "concerned about the kids" lvel instead of 'your kid sucks' it should be fine. If she gets angry with you for being honest, then do you really need this friend?? Your family comes first.
2006-08-29 15:57:46 · answer #4 · answered by Smilingcheek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have achat with th childs mother and tell her gently that you have a problem with her child wanting attention so much ask her if she is like that at home . Try letting the child cry for a while or try going to a park which may help her use up some of her energy .
2006-08-29 21:13:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough one. Tell her you need to focus on your family and making sure your son gets what he needs and you feel it is taking too much attention away from your son to care for hers. If you get stuck sitting for hers, as annoying as it is. Leave the kid to cry until they pass out. Hopefully the child will learn your boundaries and accomodate it.
I know from experience. I teach in the roughest school in my district. My students are heck on wheels outside the room. But, in my room they are the envy of some of the best schools in the area. So, children can learn boundaries even if the support isn't there at home. But, you have to be tough!
2006-08-29 15:36:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit her down and let her know that you love her, and really want to help, but it is causing behavioral problems and taking away from the important time you are missing with your son. Let her know that you had the best intentions when you started watching her baby, but you will have to stop. Watch her for another week to help the mom find alternate childcare. Honesty is best between friends. If she is a true friend, she'll understand.
2006-08-29 15:35:25 · answer #7 · answered by mama 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ive been through sometihng like this, fisrt i woudl have the mom sit down and explain to her what you feel and then offer your advice. i would also tell her that its gonna hurt at first if she lets her cry it out, i mean the kid is going to eventually shut up. also tell her that the new baby is going to need lots of attention and shes going to have to learn not to drop everything for the oldest whenever she cries, shes going to need to face it and maybe just ignore the cries for a while
2006-08-29 15:36:39 · answer #8 · answered by angel 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't mention the age of this little girl, but I can definitely understand your frustration.
Tell your friend that you don't feel that you can adequately meet the needs of her daughter. If she needs more of an explanation than that, explain what is happening, and tell her, quite frankly, that you just can't continue on in this way.
2006-08-29 15:46:18 · answer #9 · answered by Ifeelyourpain 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honesty is the best policy.
just enforce to her that you aren't disrespecting her parenting, but that you just can't handle both of the kids.
just concentrate on the point that both kids are too much for you right now and you just can't handle it anymore. if she asks why, just tell her that her daughter is pretty demanding of your time and you feel that you neglect your son at times to tend to her and it's just becoming increasingly difficult.
tact is your best friend here. be honest, but tactful.
take care.
2006-08-29 15:41:09 · answer #10 · answered by joey322 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋