My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 yrs and we have a son that is going to be 4 and another baby on the way. i bought a wedding dress 2 yrs ago and we still havent used it. It hangs in the closet waiting for the day.We own our house together, nothing in our lives our seperate our bank account our cars i mean its like we are married except i have have a different last name then him and my children. When i mention getting married he changes the subject and i just can't figure it out for the life of me. This is something that i want so badly and yet it seems like he doesnt he says why do we have to get married things are fine the way they are aren't they.My answer to that is No because if they were i wouldn't be asking to get married. Please give me some help ?????
2006-08-29 08:27:41 · 25 answers · asked by Tara 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
In the morning ...tell him that and angel came to you ...and said, from now on, you could only give head to your husband.
2006-08-29 08:39:38 · answer #1 · answered by Sam 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes what we think that we want isn't really what's best for us. The divorce rate is skyrocketing-I have been through two. At least I don't give up-right? I think that if you two have a good and mutually respectful relationship now that it should stay that way. Something about marriage seems to ruin a lot of otherwise beautiful relationships. What is really important is how the two of you are with each other. If you love each other then no piece of paper and a ceremony will change that. The romance of marriage has been built up around the wedding itself. No one talks about what it is like the first year after marriage, or the first two years. The settling in to a routine after marriage can be very anticlimactic for most people because of unrealistic expectations.
In my opinion, I think that people are evolving and coming to realize that marriage isn't always the answer for everyone. It is a nice notion, but make sure that you both are on the same page about everything if he finally "gives in." Do you really want to marry someone who doesn't want to marry you back? you don't want to feel like you pushed him into it. He will resent you for it and you will be insecure even after the wedding. Think long and hard about the most important things in life, which are love (and the even exchange), self-expression, and relationships. Everything else really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.
2006-08-29 15:36:42 · answer #2 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this can go two ways the obvious question is NO because you never want to force someone into such a huge commitment, would you want to walk down the isle to someone who does not necessarily want to be there? Think about how amazing it is to find have someone surprise you with a proposal rather then you having to beg for one. One the other hand you two have been together for a while and it is obvious that he is committed to you or you would not have been together for 7 years, maybe he does not believe in marriage, but wants to be with you 4ever. Think about why you want to marry int he first place, and if just to wear the dress you bought that is not a reason, but if it is because you want or need that extra commitment then let him know. Talk to him while you are in the car so he cannot run a way. You deserve a better commitment so tell him it is your way or the highway, talk it over though, and see what is holding him back...
2006-08-29 15:37:42 · answer #3 · answered by can j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the most part I agree with Dr. Steve. I am not against haveing babies without marriage BUT I am against not knowing where a man stands AND your sharing cars and accounts...thats pretty heavy to not know what he really wants. What are you prepared to do if he NEVER agrees to marry? Is it worth leaving him after 2 kids and 7 years and the only problem being your not married. THink about it...Oh and NEVER try to force someone to marry because I can tell ya liviing like your married is way more cool than actually getting married and I know this from my experience. In any event....I wish you well.
2006-08-29 15:33:15 · answer #4 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to get married, why do you keep having babies by this man. A man is not going to marry you if he can get everything he wants without marriage. Right now he doesn't see the benefits of marriage. You own a house together, you're having children together what would be the point for him. Face it girl the more you push the less he's going to want to. All you can do is wait til he gets ready.
2006-08-29 15:34:17 · answer #5 · answered by kitcat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, you messed up doing all these things before you married him.... His question is (To himself) Why marry her? I don't have too, I have all I need without having a "wife" to control me, Trust me this is how men think! I am not doubting he loves you and cares for his child and the one on the way, but I was always told a saying.... Why buy the cow when the milk is free. and men sometimes feel that way, they will do what you allow and you have allowed him to do this to you for 7 years. Sorry to be so harsh, but you will end up just waiting untill he is ready at this point, unless you tell him marry me or leave. Which is unfair also. Goodluck and enjoy your kids and your live in boyfriend.
2006-08-29 15:32:53 · answer #6 · answered by kirsten215 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They always say.....how people treat you...is .how you allow them to.... now its the same with your bf...u moved in with him and cohabited with him without the promise of marriage and since u were okay with it, he was just enjoying it. I think that's one of the famous mistakes that women commit nowadays....jumping into a relationship with or without promises. If he doesn't ask u to get married, stop talking about it, if u feel that he doesn't love you and u are just a convenience for him, find ways to divide your assets and leave. If ur relationship is going well, u love him, and he's good provider who loves your kids too, and loves u very much, then why do u need to get married for. You...insisting on getting married will just push him away if that's not what he wanted in the first place.
2006-08-29 15:41:43 · answer #7 · answered by ♦cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just doesn't realize how important marriage is to you. You can tell a man something a million times, and he still carries his head up his ***! Find a way to get through that big stubborn head of his! If he really loves you then it shouldn't be an issue! That's the best i can do! Good luck!!!!! If all else fails spend his money that you have access to!!!!!
2006-08-29 15:35:18 · answer #8 · answered by vanedlett 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made it way to easy for him now. You already are playing married then he should ask you to marry him. No it will not be a good idea to nag him into marrying you. You will regret that later on in life. Tell him you need more and that he needs to think about your future together and leave it at that.
2006-08-29 15:32:16 · answer #9 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is something that the two of you should of discussed before you got serious enough to have a child. Maybe you did and he said yes to blow it off later. Who knows. What you need to do is either give him an ultimatum or just forget about it. Your life seems to be just fine the way it is, what is a piece of paper going to change?
2006-08-29 15:33:43 · answer #10 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk free??????? You have "Played" house with him all this time,why bother now???? As long as your not married he can come and go as he pleases. You have no claim on him. He doesn't care about the children either! What if something what's to him? Ask him what is to happen to you and HIS CHILDREN.
2006-08-29 15:39:39 · answer #11 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋