I have been seeing a great guy for a bit now. He's kind, sincere, and I am very attracted to him. I am in my mid-twenties, and am a widowed single mom. I'm not in a place where i want to date for the fun of it-- I'm looking for a relationship that has the potential to be long term. I think this guy is great-- we have physical chemistry, we communicate well, and he adores my 5 yr old son, (although I do not allow them to spend much time together, and my son is not aware that it's a dating realtionship) His family loves me too. BUT, he's Catholic, and has even attended a Catholic university.... I'm pretty liberal myself, and I have no fixed religion. I couldn't see myself practicing his religion, but I'm not offended by it. I am not in support of the war efforts-- although I'm not strongly against it...He actually would like to apply to be an officer....
Are we too different? Other than religion and politics, we share the same views on family, committment, humor and all else.....
2006-08-29 08:05:49 · 22 answers · asked by smarty 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Life is all about diversity if you guys can find a way to work through your differences of opinion then great. However if the things you differ on are just too impostant to comprimise on then your in trouble. If you have no strong religious valuse and have no problem with him having them you guys are set, but you have to understand that his religion will always dictact the choices he makes in life. Would you be ok with him going to war? Would you be able to support him even though you don't support the cause he is fighting for. I do not support this war in any way, shape, or form but I love, respect and totally support the brave people who are fighting it. You have to decide uif what mekes you guys different is somthing that will cause problems down the road. Like at Christmas would you go to church with him? You have to decide if you can tolerate his differnce. Is he a good enough man that your willing to comprimise?
2006-08-29 08:12:15 · answer #1 · answered by lunitari601 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think as long as he doesn't try to convert you, and you have a mutual respect for each others views, than religious differences shouldn't get in the way. Just make sure it's a subject that you talk about so it's not an issue down the road! Good luck, I know what your going through, I'm a single mom to a 9 year old. You sound like a great mom, not letting your son get too attached just in case it doesn't work out....I do that too!
2006-08-29 15:12:26 · answer #2 · answered by Joeygirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Catholics are Christians. I see a lot of biblical differences in their worship that bother me too, but I'll let God sort that out. It's not my job. "With fear and trembling work out your own salvation." is what the bible says.
Politics, hmmmmm. Your principals on the war effort differ, but it will only become a big deal if you let it or if he is some flag waving right winger that just won't give it a rest.
Take your time and see how things develop. Twenties is still quite young. You seem to be on the right track with a good head on your shoulders. Take it slow and follow your instincts. ANYTHING is workable if people communicate, respect each other and can agree to disagree.
Good Luck!
2006-08-29 15:15:52 · answer #3 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on how important these issues are to each of you. If you're ok with him practicing his religion, and he's ok with you not practicing any - I don't see any problem between you two. It would be important to discuss the issue of religion as it would affect your potential future children - if he's dead-set on raising them in the Catholic faith while you are dead-set against it? This would be an irreconsilable difference that would probably doom your union. IMO, as long as neither person is "dead-set" on a particular viewpoint, a compromise may be possible.
2006-08-29 15:25:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a question back at you.
If you marry, and have a child, would you have any objection to that child being raised Catholic?
Okay, if the answer is "no problem", what will happen when that child asks you a question like "Why did Jesus die on the cross?" Or, "Mommy, would you come to Mass with Daddy and me?"
Would you be able to support your husband's beliefs?
Parents need to be of like-mind and a common front when raising children, or they will be confused.
This isn't just about you and him, but you need to think long-term.
2006-08-29 15:17:28 · answer #5 · answered by Dianne C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love knows no bounds. No religion, no political belief should come between true love. I think your relationship will work as long as both of you will not assert each other belief... and you have to assess his personality too, is he someone who's very strongly opinionated who thinks that other people that have different beliefs from hI'm are idiots. You can see that for yourself because if he is...then ur relationship is doomed to fail because im sure u will not put up with him that long if he is that way.
Many relationships thrive with differences because with their strong love for each other....they show kindness, patience and understanding in spite of those differences.
2006-08-29 15:21:14 · answer #6 · answered by ♦cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could work. It all depends on your ability to communicate and to understand each other. These are issues & you'll both need to be able to remind others that medling in your affairs is not something that you both need, if they feel the urge to try and get either of you to change.
This would be a relationship built on tolerance and love, maybe not always in agreement with each other....but it certainly wouldn't be boring if you're both able to discuss issues with open minds & without becoming angry.
It wouldn't be easy, but it might just be worth it as long as the love is there.
2006-08-29 15:11:12 · answer #7 · answered by Shadow 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd have to say...go with your heart. If you have any doubts at all ...I wouldn't. You don't only have yourself to think about but also your little boy. He should come first before anything. I have heard of similar situations and they didn't work out but I'm not saying yours wouldn't. It's entirely your decision but you do have some serious things to think about I would say. Good luck and I wish you the best which ever way you decide. Just remember this....he's not the only one out there ...there's thousands more....and might be exactly what you want without any doubts. Take care.
2006-08-29 15:13:45 · answer #8 · answered by Gez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you two will be fine together as long as you don't try to change who he is. Most couples today don't share the same religion or opinions on politics. Sounds to me like you have a keeper.
2006-08-29 15:09:50 · answer #9 · answered by LadyD1019 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would you need to believe in his religion..If everything else is wonderful and his religion is getting in the way.. Just say hey i am opened to your religion, i think its great that you are devoted, but im just not a religious person.. And if you cant be with me because that then this isnt going to work..Just be true to yourself and let him know you dont want to lose him because of something so stupid
2006-08-29 15:10:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋